View from 311

Corvo-based Rage

2011-12-04T17:29:00.003-05:00

B's have lost 2 straight, with, as the Globe reported, suckbag Joe Corvo being on the ice for the last 3 goals let up.

Weird to see Joe Corvo drop 'em vs. Joey Crabb. Crabb hid behind his visor and Corvo wanted nothing to do with the fight. Corvo only fights chicks anyway. Or chicks with dicks, depending on whose story you believe.
The B's need more of that scary puck possession game like they played against Toronto, holding it into the zone for 2 minutes while the Marlies tried to figure out what's going on.
The Joe Corvo Suck Express has left the station, get on board with it - Fluto & Friends have been shitting on him, as they should have. Remember, 311 knew Corvo sucked right away.
Speaking of sucky, underperforming defensemen, Kaberle was traded to the Habs, which makes it more appropriate for us to boo him with impunity.
Paille was knocked out by Krys Barch with a weird check the other night. Soup & Thornton both tossed their mitts and Thornton ended up doing the dirty work. Boychuk had to take his medicine vs. Jack Skille and pretty much won that fight. Boyfuck wears a visor though...Paille is concussed and Caron will play vs. the Blue Jackets.
I heard "Shakedown Street" on the organ during intermission last week, what is up with that? That album cover mesmerized me for hours as a kid.
Fan of the game - have I complained about this yet? where some parent thrusts their month-old toddler in front of the camera so it can win a free pizza that it can't even yet? My guess is the Ice Chicks got one of them weedwacker blenders like you see at Buffett shows, puree the pizza, and spoon-force-feed the kid. So anyone wanting a free Pizzeria Uno pizza, bring your toddler kid to the game, have it do something innocent & kidlike, crowd goes "awwww" and boom, free pizza.
Nothing to report here with Seguingate, everyone thinks the dude is out carousing but c'mon, the plane landed at 2AM in the 'Peg, it was apparently 5 deg F out there, maybe he got shnockered in the hotel room but I don't think a gal was involved.

B's Keep Pounding Ass

2011-11-19T13:37:00.003-05:00

B's won the other night in a horrendously ugly matchup w/ the Blue Jackets, 2-1 (SO).

At the center of all things wrong in the world is none other than Bruins defenseman Joe Corvo. Every night this guy brings anywhere between 5 and 7 metric ass-tons of suckage to the rink. And not too far behind him is Kampfer. The tonnage of suckage he brings is still in its infancy, but he's done some weird things out there. Plus, he just gets torched all the time.
Speaking of Kampfer, you know this guy's a trouble magnet, right? Univ of Michigan, okay, and he's been assaulted TWICE.

Kampfer delivers a clean hit and some dude takes exception. The "history" the announcers are referring to is the attack he experienced earlier in the year at the hands of some Univ of Michigan football players. Also, this

Ben wa Pouliot finally gets off the schnide by scoring a goal. He's still got cheap Hab-its to break (stick is high a lot, some high hits; overall douchey-ness) but he is skating hard, so...
We hit, what, 1200 posts the other night? Rang iron all night, weird how that happens. Chara almost knocked the net off its moorings, as did Horton with a wicked wrista to the crossbah.
Zach Hamill threw a hit last week. Piped up one 311'er, "zach hamill, hitting someone in the corner. weak." And I said, "that was more Dorothy Hamill". Don't know if that was original joke, but there ya go.
Kessel still in scoring lead - what IS this shit?
@msavvy91 still predicting Bruins wins and goal scorers. It's a little creepy. Is there a Peterborough equivalent to Powerball? Maybe he should play...

B's Pound Ass

2011-11-11T10:49:00.003-05:00

The B's slapped away a young Oiler team last night, 6-3.

Joe Corvo is still on my shit list despite his 3 assist effort. Commented a 311'er, "we'd have a dangerous team....if only Joe Corvo could actually play defense."

The Tyler Seguin Explosion continues with a goal and an assist last night. I hope he overtakes Phil Kessel for the league lead in goals, points, etc. because Phil's shitty mug is still all over nhl.com. It's getting to the point, especially with the way that line has been gellin' (so much so, I'm wellin') that it really looks like they can't be stopped. I mean, Seguin missed, what 2 or 3 empty nets the other night? I mean this line is sick, and they're the second line. Horton is starting to wake up and skate with more purpose (though he missed 2 gimmes last night) and Lootch is sucking less. The KHL line had one early even-strength shift last night where they had sole puck possession in the offensive zone for what felt like I dunno, a week and a half, which eventually led to the Boychuk goal.
Who, what, huh? Mark Mowers on The Instigators, folks. The nadir of NESN programming? You decide.
I went to a Hahvid Bah after the game last night. There was equations 'n shit on the walls. Everybody was regurgitatin' Gordon Wood.
Speaking of Blake Wheeler, he's 0-7-7 with the Jets right now.
You remember Rick Zombo, right? Well this former Bruin (67 games in the 90's: 4-10-14) is now the coach of the Lindenwood University hockey team, located somewhere in Missouri.

Misc.

2011-11-03T21:59:00.002-04:00

I go to the nhl.com league leaders and league pissant Phil Kessel is still leading the league in points, goals, and plus/minus. gag.
Seriously, why are you here? Go back to Days of Y'orr.
The other night, Chris Neil and Joe Corvo were about ready to go at it, but the linesmen broke it up. Dunno if they showed it on TV, but I got pretty excited - I wanted to see Chris Neil clobber Joe Corvo. You see, each year, Vf311 focuses it's irrational hate-death ray on a Bruin player who kind of sucks. This year, it's Joe Corvo. Check the Google - back in 2002 or so, when he was a punk with the Monarchs, he attacked some chick in a bar and had to do community service and stuff. Rumor has it, he actually attacked a tranny. I dunno, I wasn't there.
Guy who sat next to me on Tuesday, I think he shat himself during pre-game and forgot to clean up.
Section 322 tried to start the wave Tuesday. THERE ARE NO WAVES IN HOCKEY.
Yes, that was Hockey LEGEND Ian Moran on The Instigators the other night. Really? Ian Moran? And I thought I spied Mark Mowers on NESN the other day, too. Mowers was Dave Lewis' cabana boy back the day when the B's kinda sucked. Those were the dark days, with Dave Scatchard and Brad Isbister.
No real great analysis about the latest team play. I mean, I think they gotta push thru it and hopefully they find their way before it's too late. We'll see what happens against the Laffs in Toronto on Saturday. The Laffs are playing well for some strange reason...

HORRIBLE

2011-10-30T18:38:00.002-04:00

Feel free to hit the panic button now. This season's quickly going down the tubes.

Horrible.

2011-10-17T19:10:00.002-04:00

That's right. I go to NHL.com to, I dunno, check stuff out, and I'm greeted by Phil Kessel, leading the league in points, goals, and plus-minus.

Also, the Bruins beat the Blackhawks. Hail Seguin & Thomas; rest of the team isn't worth our time yet.

B's get smoked

2011-10-15T15:26:00.003-04:00

No. The other Bruins.

Last night, took in a P-Bruins game with Row 12, where they got shellacked by the Manchester Monarchs, 7-1. It wasn't that bad of a game, just wanted to see some violence, seeing as how our local team has decided to not really play with much passion. Well, the farm club kind of suffers from this as well. I will say the boards are loud at "The Dunk", and that plexiglas sounds real brittle as each slap shot brings with it the possibility of the glass shattering. Time to rebuild The Dunk, yah? Lots of crotchfruit there as well, going mad batshit over the SpongeBob Squarepants theme.
Look, Joe Corvo kind of sucks. Actually, not kind of. He just sucks...he's making me wish for the days of Kaberle. He constantly gets burned out there...and that booming shot that I thought we were getting really hasn't appeared. Too often has 311 commented, "oh, Corvo just got bitched on that play"... Then again, the rest of the team hasn't shown up yet either. Also, Corvo looks like Judge Doom from Roger Rabbit, y'know, after he goes nuts and attacked Roger with the cartoon saw & cartoon sledgehammer. What, you think I'm kidding?

Lootch & Horton are playing "like they've already won the Cup this year". Lootch shanked an easy open net vs. Colorado. Made a bad team look good that night. I'm telling ya, Lootch is gotta get about 9 goals this season, probably 8 of them empty-netters.
No fighting majors yet. hmmmm.
Looks like only Seguin & Marchand have shown up this year so far. How much longer until we get the team talking about how they're "squeezing their sticks too hard" in trying to score?
So we got the Blackhawks tonight at 8:30pm. Predicting another Bruins loss here, probably 5-2 or something.

B's win

2011-10-10T08:17:00.002-04:00

Opening night w/ the banner raising was pretty cool. The B's looked out of step, though.

Lootch still looks lost out there like he did in the playoffs. Not many shifts where he's skating with purpose. Just standing there waiting for something to happen. Horton still looks a bit out of sorts, too. Hopefully just early season cobwebs.
Marchand & Seguin, however, have been flying all over the ice. Seguin's skating with the confidence of someone who has had their ice time increased from say 10 minutes a game to about 18-20 minutes a game.
Don't look now, but Phil Kessel is leading the league in goals and points. It's still early, but enough to make you taste the bile when you check out the league leaders page on NHL.com.
Bruins made their probable final public appearance with the Cup yesterday as they took it to Gillette Stadium to pump up the crowd and the Patriots. Horton sprayed some Garden rink love on to the logo at midfield. The Mayor was there, "unreal", he texted. Patriots won...
Marchand performed a nice takedown of Dominic Moore. I was hoping it would come to blows, with Marchand pounding Moore's face right into the rink surface. Alas, 'twas not to be. Linesmen stepped in and prevented Marchand from tenderizing Moore's face with his fists.
How effin sweet was that pass from Jesus Seguin to Marchand for Marchand's 1st goal of the season. Then Marchand beat Bryzgalov with a nice backhand.
Lots of backhand looks vs. TB. "The backhand died with the retirement of Paul Kariya", noted one 311'er.

B's beat Habs in Pre-season - YES it matters

2011-09-27T20:58:00.002-04:00

The Bruins continued their recent domination over the Habs by clubbing them over the head, 7-3 in Halifax and then winning in Montreal, um.....3-1 was it?
Of course, didn't see either game, heard both on the radio. Well, I attempted to, fell asleep both times during the 2nd intermission. Last night, I was watching the Sox collapse live on tv with the volume down while the Sportshub played on the laptop.
Did I already complain already about the horseshit the other night with the LOGE starting the wave??? That is some extreme horseshit right there. What's next, Sweet Caroline during the 2nd commercial break of the 3rd period?
Thursday night is against zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Ottawa.

B's win, 6-3

2011-09-24T13:04:00.003-04:00

Bruins beat the Islanders last night, 6-3.

WHO in my section had the nacho cheese that smelled like feet?
Last night's studs: Peverley had about 4 goals and 8 assists, had a lot of spring to his step, easily skated around the whodat Islander defensemen. Good stuff. Brad Marchand had plenty of looks and was skating around everyone after awhile. After the B's went ahead, it kind of became garbage time then...the Islanders just started to look like your father's thursday midnight beer league hockey.
Last night's duds: Tim Thomas had some nice saves and 1 goal he had no chance on, but 3 goals on 13 shots doesn't look so hot. Lucic looked slow & lost. I really think Lootch is going to have an off-year. Like, epic awful, say 10 goals, 4th line duty, everything like that. Plus, he recently was the subject of a Margery Eagan "tsk tsk" article in the Herald the other day. Also, anyone who does the "do you know who I am" thing for real has it coming to them.
Some dude tried to beat up Krejci last night, Krejci turtled kind of to avoid injury, then I heard something about the guy getting 2 minutes for instigating with a visor on, which is a penalty I've not heard before.
WHO in my section keeps rippin' ass?
Matt Kalman is everywhere. If there's someone in the media who has cashed in on the B's success, it's this guy. Every day, he writes an article on each player that pops up somewhere. It's either great hustle or a little scary. Personally, I think he's obsessed, but he's getting paid, so what do I know. I half-ass this blog for free. It's less than half-ass - a fraction of half-ass. It's, like, eighth-ass.
People from Halifax, NS are called "Haligonians"
Ryan Spooner, going back to the OHL.

Horrible

2011-09-07T18:04:00.003-04:00

Today, a group of professional hockey players in the KHL died in a plane crash. Among the victims were sniper Pavol Demitra and former Bruin Brad McCrimmon. Probert, Boogaard, Belak, and now this. What is with this freakish NHL curse?
Ference had the Cup this past weekend. Of course, Ference is the commie Bruin, so it's fitting that he gets the Cup on Labor Day. Workers of the world, unite! Of course, he celebrates by paying homage to Mao by riding his bike all over town...then organized a flash mob of people wearing the same shirt to march down the street, crowding around him. Totalitarianism, anyone? All that was missing was a huge missile for the crowd to walk along, maybe a building-sized picture of Ference's profile.
Are we gonna sign Marchand, or what?
Just warming up, kids. We raise the banner in 4 weeks. We start training camp in 8 days. And hopefully, the blog posts will improve.

Stuff to Complain About

2011-07-27T19:55:00.004-04:00

Are we going to sign Marchand, or what?

I had to retire my Saucony sneakers. They were black 'n yellow Jazz TR 12. I wore them all thru the end of the season and the entire playoffs. They withstood even the 2" deep pool of piss I had to stand in at Sully's during game 7. The tread handled the slick Fleetcenter concrete stairs with aplomb. And it knocked a few minutes off of my pace, too. I stepped in something weird and bright green back in round 1, but since we won round one, I refused to clean it off.

Good Soldiers

So I've had to spend my summer hockey downtime getting reacquainted with the Sox, and so far I've reached some pretty obvious conclusions: Scutaro sucks. Lowrie sucks. The sellout streak is a FARCE. Some idiot, with the bases loaded, just interfered with Gonzalez trying to catch a foul ball in the stands. What an IDIOT. oh yeah, CAPS.
So, okay, what scheduling GENIUS made it so there were no BOS/MTL that occur on a weekend? What could be more awesome than attending a violent hockey game on a Saturday night? The setting is RIPE for an international incident. This is why the NHL is a failure. Similarly, there's no road trip that involves OTT/MTL on the same weekend, either, continuing to foil my epic plans of B's/OTT/MTL and Tremblant skiing.
I hope Wheeler is lustily booed when the Jets hit town. The first time he goes offside, everyone should cheer wildly.
it's awesome how the NHL Network is replaying the Bruins' Cup run. I just watch it and say to the TV, "I know it's only Game 1, but Philly - you got no hope." And, of course, I'm right.

Nothing to Complain About

2011-07-09T07:58:00.002-04:00

ya know, the B's just won the Cup some 3 weeks ago. The team has plenty of cap space. The core is basically signed long term. They got rid of the 2 schlubs who were kind of sucky last season (Kaberle, Ryder). They have lots of young forwards/defensemen in the minors who are good and will compete for jobs this fall. There's nothing to complain about. What am I gonna do with myself? This is bizarro territory for the long-time Bruins fan. Management, for the first time, doesn't look like retards and actually seems to have a plan.

Kaberle Gone

2011-07-07T20:28:00.002-04:00

Yup, set fire to your Kaberle jerseys. He has jumped ship to land in Carolina. 3 years, $12.75M. That's what, $4.25M/yr? That's a lot of dough and I'm glad that Chiarelli held onto his money. Then the B's traded a 4th rounder for Joe Corvo. Corvo's career: 568 games 79-179-258 204 PIM (too low) but the guy loves to shoot (about 180 shots/year). Plus his salary's a nice, low $2.5M/yr.

Most folks will say that Kaberle cost a lot but I don't care what Joe Colborne does for the rest of his career - we got the Cup and that's all that matters.

What's the latest on Marchand? Are the B's gonna sign him or what? Even after they sign him, and Savard retires, there's substantial cap room on the B's roster, like $9M or so. And we finally moved the Peter Schaefer buyout off the books. Still paying for Eaves, though ($258K)

Today, the Habs made a trade, got minor leaguer Dennis Blunden from the Blue Jackets. Dennis Blunden, if you recall, was the overweight computer whiz from Head of the Class. Good move, Gauthier.

Free Agent Frenzy

2011-07-02T10:36:00.002-04:00

So Brad Richards hasn't been grabbed by anyone yet, but here's some non-expert comments on yesterday's signings.

Michael Ryder to Dallas. Yup, he of the quick release, the playoff goals, the regular season absentee-ism, our "enigmatic" forward has jetted to the Stars for $3.5M/yr. A little bit of a pay cut for Ryder, but pretty good money for showing for 25% of the games.
Benoit Pouliot signed by the B's. This one is a head scratcher. But he does have some sort of upside I guess, being 4th overall pick back in the Crosby draft. So he's capable, I guess it's a Claude Julien reclamation project or something.
Wizniewski to Columbus. They overpaid for him at $5.5M/yr, but he's about ready to make "the leap", so we'll see if the rest of the Columbus team can help him out.
Chuck Kobasew gone to the Avalanche
Marco Sturm signed by Vancouver
Ville Leino signed by Buffalo. Buffalo's really making a push this off-season to win it all next season. Oh man, this is going to get good.
Alex Auld signs with Ottawa. You pink hats may not remember Auld, but he played for the B's when things were bad - back, back in the dark ages.
Heater to the Wild for Havlat. Heater's going to get a chance to drive drunk now on Minnesota's icy roads. Watch out, kids.
Tlusty stays with Carolina. Tlusty is notable mainly because the letters in his last name can be re-arranged to spell "Slutty".
Brad Richards goes to the Rangers. Guess he loves money & golf! NY is where good players go to get paid well and die.
Marty Reasoner hooks up with who cares. Someone thinks Marty Reasoner has enough talent to warrant a contract larger than the league minimum. Marty Reasoner has negative skills. I don't get it.
Ruslan Fedotenko signed by the Rangers. Why. Why does this guy still play. Okay, he will always be on my shit list because I had him in fantasy hockey (got him as an afterthought in a trade) and he was HORRIBLE.
Hal Gill sucks.

Misc.

2011-06-26T09:44:00.002-04:00

Bruins selected in the 2nd round, 4oth overall, Alexander Khokhlachev. The kid can snipe a little, that is for certain. That's 2 silent h's.

Misc. again

2011-06-25T16:44:00.003-04:00

Jay Mohr. I forgot to rip into Mohr's performance at the awards show. Actually, ya know, he wasn't that bad. A lot of his jokes fell flat on the live audience, but they weren't that bad ya know. His best line, "I'm glad the NHL gave me a nice, quiet auditorium where I can practice my jokes." At least he's fully aware that his own career's in the shitter because he didn't know when to stop making the Chris Walken impression. Actually, ya know when his career went bad? When he played that dick sports agent in Jerry Maguire. After that, no one wanted him around. Jay Mohr reminds me of the E-Trade baby, but all-growns-up. And who doesn't want to kick the E-Trade baby in the face??? Who wants to receive investment advice from a baby standing up in his crib, wearing a visor, honing his douche-shtick? That's like GMC trying to sell their trucks with, ah, some pussy-ass band playing in the background like Sister Hazel or Train or whoever the hell that is. Nothing says "V8" like "Maroon 5", amirite? Also, the audience is, like, Euro folks and they have a different sense of humor (I guess?). And for music, you get the Dierks Bentley for the North American crowd and whateverthefuck that other group was (Far East Persuasion? or some shit) for the French Canadians and the Euros in the crowd. Just awkward as hell, them awards shows.

Any sign of Marchand slowing down yet?

Misc.

2011-06-24T20:49:00.002-04:00

Tim Thomas wins the Vezina. Like there was any doubt?
Lidstrom wins the Norris. FIX. Should have been Chara - of course, right? But Chara got the consolation prize in the form of the Mark Messier Award. No one really knows what the award is, but he got it.
Bruins selected defenseman Dougie Hamilton 9th overall in the draft. He's about 6'-5" about 190lbs. He's going to be nasty when he grows into himself.
The dismantling of Confederate Flag hockey continues as the Winnipeg Jets officially are the Winnipeg Jets.
Hal Gill re-signed with the Habs, 1 year for $2.25M. Hal Gill Sucks. Habs also re-signed Mathieu Darche and Max Pacioretty. Terms aren't interesting or worth reporting for them because they both suck. Also, Andrei Markov re-signed for a couple billion as well. 3 years, $17 million or something. He'll get injured.
How bout that, the Flyers blowin' it up, sending Carter & Richards packin'. I figured Richards to be Mr. Flyer, never to be traded, but I was wrong as usual.
So the awards the other night, the draft tonight, more draft tomorrow, then free agency in about a week or so. It never ends. Which is good because baseball seems so boring by comparison.

I like winning. Winning is good.

2011-06-18T19:00:00.005-04:00

Hey, didja hear? The Bruins won the Stanley Cup.

You know, we predicted this. No, really. Check our January 28, 2011 post, titled "Plan the Parade Route". I wish I could take credit for that, but I had little to do with that post - I just heard the theories all along and another contributor decided to put his thoughts out there into the aether where it sits in perpetuity.

Most of Vf311 caught Game 7 at Sully's Tap. It was pretty insane inside. It got really insane on Marchand's (Marshmont) empty-net goal.
I don't have a smartphone, I have a dumbphone. With awful lighting and everyone spazzing out, it's just a blur of stuff. Then after about 20 minutes of celebrating and trying to not slip on the beer-soaked floor, headed out onto Canal St. where the po po had set up a weird corral for us cattle. All side streets were shut down, had to walk to Haymarket before finding my way to Charlestown. It was odd how everyone was herded into 3 main blocks. But nothing really happened, just a buncha folks whooping it up.

Game 6 featured some interesting folks in front of us - they claimed to be cousins of Marchand (Marshmont)

unverified relatives of Marshmont; the shine off that guy's dome was remarkable

So today was the Parade. Some of Vf311 hung out on Tremont St. Lots of people - duh. Got there real early, had a large breakfast, then waited for the duck boats to arrive. I got mainly photos of everyone else's cameras being raised in the air.

Thomas & Chara

The pre-parade rally featured some rapping by white boy Marshmont as he spit some rhymes from Wiz Khalifa's "Black 'n Yellow". Then Bergeron snatched the mic away from Marshmont because Marshmont was still bombed out of his tree.
I screwed when it was over. There was a lot of humanity out there.

HAHAHAHA!

2011-06-16T09:24:00.002-04:00

Wow.

We finally did it.

A big thanks to "Morale Officer" for keeping this blog going. I know I haven't wrote in over a year. Today is a great day to be back.

I ran into Don Cherry at Logan flying back to Austin after Game 6. I said to him "Coach Cherry, remember, the story lines too good for the Bruins not to take it home."

And the story was too good.

As a sports fan, you dream of a team like this. A team to tell your kids about. A team that embodies everything you want to root for. I mean, look at these guys. Timmy, Patrice, Shawn, etc.

Heroes. Forever.

This is beyond the guys on this team. They did everything so many teams couldn't. Growing up watching Ray, Cam, Andy. They were my heroes, but they couldn't do it. This team did.

This one is really for the fans. All of us. Some of the greatest people I've ever met in my life. Section 311. This one is for all those half empty games in the Garden. The losses. Toiling. Toiling away. To my favorite season ticket holder who has had a single ticket for over 30 years, and brings us all candy for every game, and sends me Bruins care packages in Austin. For keeping the faith. For the laughs, for the tears. For wishing. For hoping. Some day. Some f'in day we'd win the Stanley Cup.

And we did. Last night awash in beer, cheap champagne, cigar ash, and yes tears. I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it now. Waking up this morning, realizing we finally did it, not giving a damn about anything else in the world. We won the Cup. The Boston f'in Bruins finally won the Cup.

To the games we couldn't GIVE away tickets to. To the game in the snowstorm against the Devils a few years ago, with 200 fans in the Garden. To Sully's Tap for hosting us for so many times we will always remember, and nights we can't remember! To Game 6 against Montreal when hockey FINALLY came back in this town.

To Timmy's paddle save. To Horton's OT goals. To the Kid Seguin having his break out game. To Thornton coming back and bringing so much energy to this team. To Marchand's gorgeous shorthanded goal, and to being a god damn rat who we'd hate if he wasn't a Bruin. To Chara for always poking away the puck. To Looch playing Black and Gold hockey since he first put on the spoked B, and to keeping it going. To Savvy. This cup is yours to. For always making the play. For Campbell and Peverley and Kelly for playing the unsung heroes. For Mark f'in Recchi. For giving this team the veteran leadership they DESPERATELY needed. For Krejci giving us a shot. Yes, to Michael Ryder for showing up. To Patrice for being the ultimate team player you want your kids to play like. For Johnny Boychuck for straight destroying dudes. For Tuukka for holding it down last year. For Adam Mcquaid for stepping up when he had to. For Seidenberg for just playing damn good Defense down the stretch. For Ference, always steady. Even for Tomas Kaberle, you're here too.

For my dad for taking me to the Old Garden and teaching me how to skate. To my brother, who I'll never forget buying NHL 93 with in change we saved from recycling cans. To my mom who hasn't watched this much Bruins hockey since the early 70's.

And most importantly. For 311. For Section 311. For all of us. All those nights, all the great times. All the bad times.

We did it. We won the F'in Stanley Cup!

Hahahahaha!

I hate Max Lapierre

2011-06-10T23:03:00.002-04:00

Of all people, Maxim Lapierre...

The Bruins got out-played physically by the 'nucks tonight, who were emboldened by playing in front of their raucous home crowd. Luongo gets the shutout but wasn't really tested, just like the other 2 games in Vancouver. Rather, the Vancouver defense actually felt like playing again.
Luongo's goalie mask/helmet thing looks like he was pissed on. Like yellow snow. Watch out where the huskies go....
Officially sick of Emerick. Either because he's screwing up names, or looks like my mom's aunt, or not varying his language well enough, I don't know. Boston fans need the homer-ism of Jack Edwards.
Milbury, actually being forced (conspiracy theory) to say something nice about the Sedins actually playing well during one of the intermissions. You and I both know he hates them and the Euro game, destroying his rock 'em sock 'em hockey.
NBA guard Steve Nash, whose bro in law is Manny Malhotra, picked the 'nucks in 7 games. Like he'd go against his relative. Dumb question by the media.

Yeah, that was ex-Hab Max Lapierre, bringing some of the ghosts from the old Montreal Forum with him to Vancouver to kick sand in the Bruins face. I would rather anyone else, even Burrows, over Lapierre. HORRIBLE. Thomas didn't get a good push-off with his opposite leg there, but he actually saved the shot but rolled the wrong way due to his momentum and the puck plopped in over the goal line. That's brutal stuff, he'll see that shit in his dreams for the next few days.
Vancouver the city looks like a nice place. Ocean over here, mountains over there, looks like they may have it all. How close is the skiing (Banff/Whistler/Blackcomb)?

Mercy!

2011-06-07T21:58:00.004-04:00

The B's made the Canucks their prison bitch last night, crushing them 8-1.

Game was a lot closer for awhile in the beginning. The first period ended, 0-0 with Thomas making crazy saves as usual.
Then they got a fluke goal and then the floodgates opened. Ference is mad clutch. I actually told the guy to my left during the first intermission, "Ference is so clutch". Then he scored 11 seconds in.
That Marchand goal, holy shit, that was something else. Steals from one of the Sedin Sisters, smokes, uh, Edler or something, beats Kesler, then beats Luongo. Then kisses his glove in front of the 'nucks bench.
Having 'nuck fans in the arena, with those colors, felt very Whalers-ish, like the Canes were in town. Most of 'em looked Samoan.
The drama/circus that was the 2nd & 3rd period, I don't see that happening again. The whole finger thing, the scrums, the 10-minute misconducts, the NHL doesn't want that stuff happening again. As much as it makes people watch the game, they don't want it for some reason. I dunno.
Possibly the defining moment of Tim Thomas' season, if not career, could be that check he did on one of the Sedins. No one was expecting that, for him to just shove the guy while he was trying to field the puck in mid-air. I was wondering if it was a penalty - but what would that penalty be? 2 minutes for being awesome?
Rogers Network, TSN, and NHL Network were set up at the east entrance to the Gahden. Saw Bob Mackenzie & Ray Ferraro talkin' about stuff.

So, yeah, all I wanted was 1 good game in this Stanley Cup Finals. Now, I'm actually believing in the team again. The Russian's been cut! Perhaps one could think to what Aaron Ward said a few years ago in the postseason (and I'm paraphrasing here) "[the playoffs are] about finding an identity, then maintaining that identity." So the B's tried to play the prevent defense and the finesse game in Vancouver, but they come home and go "oh yeah, we don't do that; we play like THIS" and then laid the smack down. Or maybe they just wanted to give us all a good show before puking like McNabb. Not McNab.
The hit on Horton was just horrible - mainly because he was so dazed and the camera zoomed in on his face...and his chest struggling to breathe as the wind was knocked out of him. This one may linger, not only was the hit bad but his head hit the ice weird. Hopefully his recovery is on schedule for next season.

Ugh

2011-06-05T18:03:00.003-04:00

Paul Revere reacts to Sarah Palin's comments and the Bruins' 0-2 Series hole.

Okay, what's there to say? I think, generally, the B's have played "okay", and only if they could bury their chances, we'd be talking a different story. Most of the 'nucks backers were thinking that every game would be 6-1 victories. Except the B's have hung around despite being outplayed for a lot of each game. I went from being optimistic saying the B's would win in 6 games; now I'm hoping to not get swept.
But it just sucks to see someone dominate a game like Tim Thomas only to have him hosed on some play and have Burrows (!) score on him.
Emerick needs to hit the thesaurus, kids. He used the word "knifed" at least 10 times last night. Also, "squibbed", "ricocheted", "careened".
Burrows! I told folks, "you're gonna hate him by the end of the series!" folks dismissed me. Now they know what I mean.
KPD today in the Globe renounced fighting. It was like...I dunno...me renouncing food. He's crossed that line, he says.
Andrew Alberts! are you KIDDING ME???
Hal Gill re-signed with the Habs. I forget the terms, but who cares. He suckitude continues at the only place close to home that will actually employ him. Turncoat bastid.
Seguin had, what, 6 minutes of ice time last night? Paille & Campbell had something like 4 minutes each.
Ugh. Just win one, okay?

Miscellany

2011-05-30T13:25:00.002-04:00

Crypt-keeper Jeremy Jacobs came out of his Scrooge McDuck vault in East Aurora, NY to come to Boston and talk about how glad he is that the Bruins are raking in more revenues than normal. Pink hats, check out Ron Borges' article in today's Herald (then read the comments by angry, longtime fans). Remember, he owns pretty much everything involved with everything regarding the Bruins - the merch, the food, the Garden, the team, etc. Folks may wonder why I don't buy Garden concessions or wear Bruins flair at the games (or, really, ever), this guy is why. The team could win every single game for the next 100 years, I ain't giving JJ any more money than what I pay for my season tickets. So read Borges' article, then read it again.
Sox are in first place. Huh?
I could sell my game 3 ticket right now for about $500. dang.
Bruins in 6.

B's win; onto Vancouver

2011-05-28T09:49:00.003-04:00

I like winning. It's better than losing.

Dennis Seidenberg is solid. 8 blocked shot last night. Pure solid. Dennis Seidenjesus.
Buddy of mine next to me who is a bit more of a basketball fan than a hockey fan was stunned when Stamkos took that shot off the face. "Is he gone for the game?" I said, "nope, he'll go to the locker room, spit out a few chiclets, get some stitches, back on the ice in 5 minutes". And he was. This ain't the NBA, son. Any of these guys, TB or Boston, or really any team, would play through gunshot wounds to play in this game. You could behead Recchi and his body and his head would still play. Actually, you wouldn't want to behead Recchi because then you'd have to deal with 2 Recchis kicking your ass all over the ice. "The decapitated head of Recchi just scored a hat trick, all goals assisted by the body of Recchi. Unreal."
NHL on the Fly. Why is Ryan O'Byrne on there? This punkass's hockey bona fides are pretty weak. Plus, since he's a former Hab, he's retardedly anti-Bruin. He picked the 'nucks in 7. Kelly Chase? He GETS IT. Chaser picked the B's in 7. Another enforcer in sportscasting. What's up with that? Something about the enforcer/goon personality that translates well to sportcasting, I dunno. Also, Ryan O'Byrne sucks.
When I got home, my ears were ringing. I've never heard the crowd get that loud. When Horton scored, just pure bedlam. Bedlam. The game was just so intense. We were actually predicting 0-0 going into sudden death. Is there not a more apt description of overtime in a game 7 playoff hockey game than "sudden death"?
Causeway St. was batshit, too, after the game. At one point, a buncha folks dancing in a circle chanting "Tim-my Thom-as". I'm not sure if any weirdness broke out or whatever, I left the area at about 11:30, but damn.
Winning is good.

B's fill their diaper.

2011-05-26T19:12:00.004-04:00

Ugh.

Sure, you'd love to bench Boychuk & Kaberle ("Kaber-gay", we've been calling him; yah, we're adults.), but these are the ugly sluts that Claude brought to the dance, so he's gotta dance with them. So let's hope (ugh) that this team can figure it all out in time for tomorrow night's game.
No time for Seguin on the PP last night, did I read that right? So they're trying the "chara in front of the net" move, and that's great and stuff, but Seguin's still gotta play on that "power" play, currently clicking at, uh, what, 8%?
boston.com had a poll for unsung hero for the bruins in the playoffs. I voted for Seidenberg and so did most of those who voted.
The B's, ya know, they really have got to stop giving these teams hope. They are 100% capable of pounding the piss out of TB, but everytime they get a chance to step on their neck with a skate, they back off. "Afraid to win", you hear some call it. I dunno. But the killer instinct is lacking. "don't know how to win", "not playoff ready", etc.
US-born hockey player Doug Weight retiring after 19 years. 1238 games 278-755-1033 and a Stanley Cup. Not too bad.
Are the Jets back in Winnipeg YET? sheesh. Gotta get rid of that Confederate Flag Hockey ya know. Florida Panthers, you're next.
These 8pm starts are lame. I get home at like midnight 'n shit. It's like when the Sox were going all the way in '04 and no one was getting any sleep because the games were starting at 8:37pm.
You realize, right, that in order to keep the Cup away from the hosers that either the B's or Tampon Bay has to beat Vancouver. Cup hasn't been won by a Canadian team since, what, 1993 when the Habs got it.
The Mayor flew up from Austin to catch Game 7. "I landed, went to Dunks, bought a Herald". It's rumored that tonight he's headed to the Cape to get stabbed in the parking lot of Pufferbellies.
That's right, Bill Belichick's been to the last 2 games. Last game, even stood up and waved the towel there. Also, Tom Brady crying and going down waterslides like a 7-year old girl. Patriots dynasty = over.
What the hell were those noisemakers at the game last night? or something? It sounded like thundersticks, but more high-pitched. Horrible. They don't hand shit out like that in Boston, they know it'll get tossed onto the ice after the first bullshit call. A few years back they handed out minature Stanley Cups at the beginning of the year? or the playoffs? and Andrei Markov scored with like 10 seconds left in OT so MTL won, and all them shits got tossed onto the ice. Now, I think they do like, wind tunnel tests 'n shit on the free schwag to see if it can aerodynamically make the trip from the balcony to the ice. Y'know, mass, drag coefficient, critical velocity, windage, vectors, tensors, cross products, LaPlace transforms, etc. possibly the Large Hadron Collider's involved? When Bruins marketing goes thru the catalog of corporate-sponsored free schwag, each item probably lists its "projectile potential" on it or something. And who picks the schwag? Covidien or the Bruins? "let's give 'em towels" because they don't want the fans to brain Stamkos after he scores the series winner in OT.

B's Ground Lightning

2011-05-20T23:15:00.002-04:00

I've been sitting on that headline for a few days.

Thursday night the B's went into lockdown mode with the return of Bergeron, shutting out the 'Ning, 2-0.
The Seguin Mafia was all over the airwaves on Wednesday after his 4-point, 1-period outburst on Tuesday. I can't blame them, but they were ready to put the kid into the Hall of Fame. I will admit, it was amazing stuff, but if it was followed by a disappointing performance, especially defensively, then it would be for naught. But the Seguin Show was pretty decent on Thursday night - the kid actually now seeks out not only the puck, but to hit, to engage opponents for the puck. Good stuff. Now we are rolling 4 solid, steady lines.
Slowly, slowly - Kaberle is getting better. I think he had a good game last night. Scott Cullen of TSN correlated the B's best defensive performance of the series with Kaberle's (lack of) ice time. I think he is forgetting about the Bergeron factor, since what he does vs. Stamkos & Friends has more impact than anything Kaberle does. But Kaberle is starting to buy into the system, learn where he is supposed to be in Julien's system, and I think it's, again, slowly coming together for him.
Confederate Flag Hockey leaves Atlanta and heads to Winnipeg. I don't know if the team will be called the Jets or what, I heard a rumor they were going to be called the Manitoba Moose, coulda been someone joking around. Probably so they could sell more merch - stuffed mooses and stuff. Can't exactly sell stuffed Jets to the kids. But at least hockey heads back to a place where there's actually snow and stuff. Florida Panthers/Phoenix Coyotes - you're next, probably heading to, what, I dunno, Quebec City and ? Hamilton? Hopefully those Crisco-eaters in Hartford are denied a hockey team.
I wonder if Mike Lundin has repeating nightmares of getting bitched by Seguin in the open ice. Also nice to see Seguin undress both Hedman and Bergeron-concusser Randy Jones.
Boychuk played less retahded last night, he was -3 in Game 2 I think.
Seriously, does Paille wake up every morning and pinch himself? Picture this, you're Daniel fuckin' Pie-yay, you got nothing - no shot, no fists, no size, just a little speed - and somehow you were a 1st round pick. Now you're a role player on a pretty good team that is 6 wins from winning it all. He should give us money just for letting him hang with us.
Didja see how huge Boucher's eyes got when arguing the Bergeron/Krejci hit/penalty at center ice? Creepy.

B's crap themselves

2011-05-15T08:48:00.003-04:00

NHL.com's photo of Guy Boucher

60-minute hockey, folks. The Bruins went on holiday for a few minutes in the 1st period last night and fell behind 3-0 on some gift goals, going on to lose, 5-2.

Seidenberg was an uncharacteristic -3 on the night.
Krejci was 3 for 18 at the faceoff dot. Peverley was 6 for 16 on faceoffs. Bruins as a whole were 26 for 67 on faceoffs. They don't break down offensive zone vs. defensive zone faceoffs, but it felt like we won none all night.
The "Seguin Mafia" will be out in full force on the radio dial. While I pretty much said, "omg" when he smoked the TB defense and beat Roloson for his first goal, it also is telling that he was on the ice for the first 2 goals when the Bruins really had a huge brain fart and gave up 2 goals in 19 seconds. Seguin also threw a hit, too. Skated like a madman into the corner and took out someone, can't remember who. Then the B's lost possession and that was that.
Thomas had 2 retahded saves last night, one on LeCavalier who did the Forsberg move which Thomas saved with his glove, and Downie on a point-blank attempt that Thomas also snuffed out with his glove.

B's take out trash

2011-05-07T07:51:00.002-04:00

Last night the B's finished the job, winning 5-1 to win the series 4-0 against Philadelphia.

Still no word on Bergeron's injury. Just that Giroux hit him, he went down, we all saw him lying on the ice, but he got up and made his way to the bench and immediately to the locker room. So far this postseason, Bergeron's been Conn Smythe material, so no shit, everyone hopes he's okay.
Kaberle has been improving, ever so slowly. I see, like, a 3% per game improvement with each game. Of course, this trend is too slow for the playoffs, but...last night he hit the blue line with speed, got hooked/tripped, and we got a power play. He needs to stop being scared and just play.
Lootch actually skated last night, finally. He'd been kinda coasting still all postseason but last night he showed more willingness to get into 5th gear.
Tampa Bay next. LeCavalier, St. Louis, Roloson, Gagne, Stamkos. Plus playoff stud Sean Bergenheim (what?)...last night Beers said that if there's anything that suspect on TB, it's their defensive corps, with Eric Brewer being the best followed closely by Hedman. So, duh, get pucks in deep and go from there.
"What if"...the Flyers hung with Bobrovski for the whole series? And if Pronger didn't have a busted-up hand that probably got aggravated when he got beat on an icing by Paille (or the ensuing two-hand slash)?
So yeah, nice win, keep it going, pretty much just riding the wave, going to enjoy the 4-5 days off from Bruins playoff hockey (lawn hasn't been mowed in forever) and recharge for Tampa Bay.
SJ lost last night. Maybe there's still time for Joe Thornton to choke out of the playoffs.

Bostowned

2011-04-30T20:37:00.002-04:00

Today the Patriots beat the Eagles, 7-3 at the Well Fargo Arena.

Well there ya go. The Krejci line wakes up. Krejci gets 2 goals, 2 assists and looked unstoppable at times, working his bullet-time magic especially on the Campbell goal.
Lootch looked 200% better today, was actually skating, hitting, shooting. He actually looks interested in playing now.
Pronger's a jerkwad, huh? As if you didn't know - Paille smokes him on an icing, and he slashes Paille. Paille goes to the box for being awesome and Pronger goes to the box for being a gap-toothed jerk.
Power play is, what, 0-for-25 now? or something? Does it even matter anymore?
Still, today was just not the Flyers' day. I don't even think I heard Hartnell's name until the 3rd period.
Did Pierre Maguire say that van Riemsdyk is like Cam Neely? And didja see the look Milbury gave Maguire, like, "I know Cam Neely, I coached Cam Neely; van Riemsdyk is no Cam Neely". No one ever accused Maguire of being all that smart.
During game 7 vs. the Habs, I saw a B's fan with a black t-shirt with the Canadiens "CH" logo turned on its side and the "H" was altered to make it look like it was crying. Who is making those? I gotta get me one of those.

B's Finish the Deal; Flyers Next

2011-04-30T08:46:00.003-04:00

yay camera phone. I guess.

So in case you haven't heard, or can't tell by the "awesome" photo above, the Bruins turned out the light on the Habs Wednesday night.

Some sort of moratorium on ripping on the B's power play immediately following the game, as for once, the Boston sports media opted to not dwell on the negative and actually enjoy a victory.
But are you kidding me? 0-for-21 power play? Brian Burke is pleasuring himself to viewings of its ineffectiveness. Every time Kaberle goofed up a play at the blue line or got the yips in the corners, Burke just poured himself another whiskey and grinned.
Jeff Halpern, who got thumped into the end of the glass, then decided to skate into Ference's shoulder, I think ended up inadvertently tipping in Nathan Horton's shot. Jeff Halpern, you suck.
Subban's a total diver and a putz, but he's good and he's going to be around for awhile. Deal with it. At least you have someone to focus your hate on, the torch has been passed from Hab assholes of the past (Guy Carbonneau, Stephane Richer, Lyle Odelein, shit this list truly could be infinite. Did I already mention Guy Carbonneau?).

In no particular order, comments on the individual performances:

Playoff MVP: Gotta give this one to Bergeron. The guy had a monster series, winning 110% of the faceoffs and best of all, always moving his feet, unsatisfied and fighting for that extra inch ("we claw! with our FINGA-NAILS for that inch!"). Bergeron "gets it", folks. I don't know if it's the early influence of Martin Lapointe (heh) or the current influence of greybearded, brass-balled Recchi (playing through kidney stones; getting his blood swapped for new blood, Keith Richards-style, during the Carolina series), but anyone who doesn't think Bergeron is the face and cornerstone of this franchise should make their way to the cracker factory. I'm ready to hoist #37 to the rafters. When Recchi retires, he's going to will that wheelbarrow he uses to cart around said brass balls to Bergeron, "here you go, you've earned this". Okay, enough with the balls.
Playoff LVP: Kaberle. A caller to the sportshub recently called out Felger, et al. by correctly pointing out that we should not have expected much, defensively-speaking, from Kaberle. He's a bring-the-puck-up defenseman who can pass well and aid the power play. And in speaking with a Maple Leaf fan yesterday, he agreed, basically saying that Kaberle is as soft as puppy shit in his own zone, but silky smooth offensively. I guess we're just going to have to give it a little more time for Kaberle...during a part of the season where time is of the essence. I dunno.
Playoff SoLVP: "sort of least valuable player". Ryder. Dude, love the goals, love the quick release, and that glove save was the shit of legend, but completely sick of your "enigmatic" (KPD) ways. The dude's playing for a contract and still can't get his dick hard for 17 minutes a night on the ice. Start Seguin, start Caron, start your mom. Bench Ryder.
Playoff MVP the more I think about it: Andrew Ference. Admit it - his goal and middle finger to the Habs fans was the turning point of the series. Right now, the action could be characterized as classless, or whatever, but the B's were down, 3-1 at that point and nothing was going our way. Ference skates into a rolling puck, puts the force of the Warsaw Pact behind a blistering бомба over Carey's glove, then flips off the Bell Centre crowd. It would have been unforgettably badass if Ference owned up to it, but I suspect he was trying to keep the action from being bulletin board material. Plus the guy just competes in the corners despite his midget, commie-like ways. Also, 2 assists in the series clincher.
Very close to being Playoff MVP: Chris Kelly. Who knew? The guy's no dummy and finally delivers as advertised: PJ Axelsson with better finish.
I'm impressed with his speed: Rich Peverley. Can't help but feel a little bit British whenever I say "Peverley", but yeah, anyway, he's worth putting down the game-time donut when he rushes up the ice.
What a beast: Had a rough start to the series, but Dennis Seidenberg is just awesome and I don't think we've yet seen just how good he is.
WTF?: Lootch...coasting thru the zone, looking passive, waiting for a pass instead of making shit happen.

Things to look forward to in the 2nd round versus the Flyers:

Hating Chris Pronger: and Hartnell, and Giroux, and "Hot Carle"...
Daniel Briere is a whiny bitch: It didn't end with the Habs - the Flyers got their own weenie who wears a visor, cries to the refs, slashes people when the refs aren't looking, is small and quick, and is a pure Bruins killer. Remember the two-hander to Franz Nielsen's head?
We will probably make their goaltending look awesome: Sadly, we're going to make whoever stands between the pipes for the Flyers look like Thomas' competition for the Vezina. Unless we start Seguin. After Seguin starts averaging 2 points/game, cures for AIDS, cancer, and all that stuff will be found, plus world peace, end of poverty and hunger, struggle, strife, etc.
Flyers fans are subhuman: Watch out for the batteries, folks. Always Sunny in Philadelphia isn't kidding. Everyone in that town really is that dumb.
The Flyers are shit, but at least they'll step up: aside from the aforementioned Briere, who usually has Carcillo or others doing his dirty work for him, everyone on the Flyers will show up and back up anything they try to do.

I was wrong as usual

2011-04-24T21:10:00.005-04:00

Habs fan, duly ostracized for his allegiance to the bleu, blanc, et rouge

So my prediction of the B's caving in last night did not come true, as the B's, as we all know by now, slapped the Habs away in double OT last night, 2-1. My prediction was way off ("Samsonite!") , and as any frequent reader of this site, all 20 of you (hi mom), know, I know nothing about the game.
Seriously, though, what could I possibly add to the dialogue some 22 hours after the fact? Ryder made a ridiculous street hockey (deck hockey or road hockey to you hosers) save, Chara made a leg/toe save, Ference is becoming even more clutch these days by working around the Lootch pick to put a soft ("20 km/h" in Ference's SI-unit-lovin'-commie-speak; this converts to 12.4 mph) shot onto Price for Horton to bang in the rebound, plus Timmy's retahded save on Gionta. Plus all the other stuff.

Lootch looks hurt, I'm telling ya. He's not initiating contact, he's just coasting around on the ice, setting up at the hash marks and waiting for someone to pass to him. I dunno.
Cammallerrii fans in Row 9 last night. They were older folks, wore #13 with pride, took the loss quietly, then went home and cried on their bright red, maple leaf-shaped pillows. Actually, more Habs fans in the stands than games 1 & 2. They cheered somewhat loud when Jim Halpert, I mean Jeff Halpern (Jeff Halpern? are you fucking kidding me?) scored to tie the game at 1. We had a couple Habs fans in our row last night, they were quiet, only went thru the row to take one of the hundreds of their smoke breaks in the stairwell.
I finally got home, last night flipped on The Fly, and there was the post-game presser with Horton sporting a massive perma-grin. He seemed truly pleased at winning.
Flyers beat Buffalo today. Gross.
I saw a Habs fan in a Jan Bulis #38 jersey last night. Jan Bulis? Really? That might be up there with, say, a Peter Douris #16 jersey or something.

Game 5 Tonight

2011-04-23T10:39:00.002-04:00

The B's return from their MTL/Lake Flaccid road trip to face the Habs tonight in Game 5.

So as I'm sure everyone's heard by now that Ference's middle finga to the Habs fans got him fined $2,500 by the NHL. Note that, before that goal, the score was 3-1 and the Habs were having their way with us. At that point, the Bell Centre had kicked into its victorious "ole, ole" chant. I think this was Ference's emphatic "fuck you" to those (Habs fans and Bruins fans alike) who thought this game (and series) was over. He should have owned it, though, after the game, "yeah, I flipped 'em off, so what?"...The favorite adjective to describe, well, any act that is disagreeable these days is "classless". "Ference's salute was classless", "Chara's hit was classless", "Bruins fans were classless", etc. I've been seeing a lot of "classless" lately written by the commentariat, need a new word.
Kaberle still sucks, but how 'bout that pass to Ryder for the first goal?
Peverley can stay - he is definitely the anti-Wheeler. He's got some speed that makes d-men back up a bit, he can shoot, and knows how to stay on-side (note the OT goal - can you imagine Blake Wheeler staying on-side for that shit? I can't.)
Has to speak something for Chris Kelly's character/will to win/compete level/whatever you want to call it, in that he's playing in the dirty areas besides having a busted face. Or maybe playing with a full cage has emboldened him? And therefore, Lootch should play in a cage as well?
My goodness, that wrista by Subban was just retahded. Even if Thomas wasn't screened by Plekanec, he probably still wouldn't have seen it.
No prediction tonight. Okay, prediction. B's lose, 5-3, 5th goal is empty netter. We got home-ice-disadvantage here in this series or something, and since the B's continue to hate us and hate scoring on the power play.
Crowd should be rockin', though, so that'll be fun. Games have been opening with "Cochise" by Audioslave, and that's not a bad way to go.

Dude, where's my power play?

2011-04-19T19:50:00.005-04:00

Okay, so the B's finally played a good game. They were cornered by the Habs after shaming us over the weekend.

The Bruins' power play has to be the suckiest thing that ever sucked. They spend nearly the whole power play trying to break into the zone or fighting for it along the half-wall. It's just sad. The Bruins need to start declining penalties like football.
So nice to have Chara back. I'm not sure if Game 2 was 100% because of Chara's absence, but for some reason it all got better last night.
Why do they hate us? Bruins would have been better served to finish 8th this season as they continue to prove that they are one of the best road teams in the league. You see, this only sets it up so they can, for the 3rd straight year, lose a playoff series on home ice in front of their beloved fans. They will lose Games 4 & 5. Why do they hate us?
Jack & Brick were in rare form last night. Sure, Jack was his usual, loony self and that's just fine - typical Jack. But Brick, being the local boy that he is PLUS having played with the B's in the late 80's, carries deep in his soul an intense hatred of the Canadiens.
Look, I'd send Ryder to the bench, and maybe even Paille/Thornton and bring in Seguin and/or Caron. Caron would love to play in front of his hometown team, he has a willingness to get dirty and play in front of the net - why not let him play? I think Caron has become the forgotten guy at this point. Let him get sloppy with Gill out in front, see what happens.

No, not that Caron

Holy shit, the guy who sings the anthems for the Habs, Charles Prevost Linton, he sings the US anthem too fast. Here's a pic of him from a few years ago, check out that shrub growing on his head. HEEEEEEED. It's like Sputnik - spherical, yet quite pointy in parts.

Also notable was Ference's dustup with Pouliot. Pouliot came in high on a hit, Ference found him, and they threw down. Good stuff there.

Dude, where's my team?

2011-04-17T09:44:00.006-04:00

So yeah, morale has hit a tremendous low here in 311. With about 7 minutes left in the game, you could feel the air just leave the building.

I seriously do not know why the Edmonton Oilers decided to show up and play the last 2 Bruins playoff games at the Gahden. But these guys are listless and are unable to summon the will and energy to do what it takes to win these games. Montreal is not even that good.

Seriously, what happened? We all know Chara is a vital component to the defensive corps, but what has happened to Kaberle??? He brought the suckage of the Maple Leafs with him like a dark cloud. He looks like a lost puppy. I thought we traded for Tomas Kaberle, but I think we ended up with Frank Kaberle. But anyhow, he's not the only one out there who is outmatched by the situation.
So, as I'm sure you've all read by now, if the B's don't pick up their game right quick, the season is over and Julien (at least) and Chia Pet are toast. I dunno. I'm part of the "screw it, let's start Seguin" crowd right now. It certainly can't get any worse. Throw him right into the fire at the Bell Centre. Maybe start Rask, I dunno.

That's me up there, ready to jump off the Tobin

Why do the Bruins hate us? I keep hoping that this is our 19-8 game, and thinking that "it's always darkest before the dawn" and that type of Ned Flanders stuff. But let's face it, I don't think Dave Roberts will be skating for the Bruins in this series. But this team simply hates playing at home. Our only hope is the fact that the B's have been a decent road team this year. They will probably earn a split up in MTL, just in time to lose Game 5 (and the series) at home.

Infinite Path Carved with Unrivaled Skill

2011-04-14T08:46:00.002-04:00

Optimism is extremely high here in Section 311. Maybe it's dementia resulting from a few seasons of watching games in the oxygen-deprived balcony, I dunno.
Plan the parade route, save me a spot at the barricade there, load my camera up with film, call in sick, attend the rolling rally.

Waiting all week for the playoffs to begin has been torturous. I hope the Gahden is rockin' tonight, nice and loud.

My Personal Top 5 NHLers Who Should be/have been Bruins

2011-04-12T17:51:00.002-04:00

My own personal list of hard-nosed players who I feel fit the Bruins' mold. Yeah, sure, we'd love the Crosbys and such, but there are others who I feel could fit right in, make a contribution, kick a little ass...

MIKE RUPP Pittsburgh Penguins 6'-5" 230lbs
Career stats: 497 games 49 goals 40 assists 656 PIM

Yeah, he's that "oh, shit" guy who can deliver crunching hits, throw down with anyone, and pop in about 10 goals a year. Classic 4th line center.

CHRIS NEIL Ottawa Senators 6'-1" 215lbs
Career stats: 659 games 77 goals 95 assists 1683 PIM

A total dick to play against, but this guy would just slip on the B's jersey and be at home instantly.

MIKE KOMISAREK Toronto Maple Leafs 6'-4" 243lbs
Career stats: 470 games 13 goals 59 assists 622 PIM

We all hate him for his Montreal years...and who could forget when Lootch pummeled his ass a few years ago. He quieted down after that, but his chippiness started to return this year as the Laffs blew just a little bit less this year. Deep inside this player is a Bruin waiting to come out - probably the only Hab worthy of wearing the spoked-B.

MICHAEL PECA Buffalo Sabres 5'-11" 183lbs
Career stats: 864 games 176 goals 289 assists 798 PIM

I remember him best during his Buffalo years. Did he ever win the Selke? Should have. His later years were plagued by injuries, but imagine PJ Axelsson with more balls, better finishing touch.

DION PHANEUF Toronto Maple Leafs 6'-3" 214lbs
Career stats: 470 games 85 goals 183 assists 644 PIM

He's another dick we love/hate to play against. Eastern Conference-type player, imagine him coming to Boston, playing for a real team, and flattening people in the corners. I went to look for Phaneuf hits on the youtube there, but it's like picking your children. Also, some of them are illegal now and we don't want to, uh, encourage that type of stuff.

RYAN KESLER Vancouver Canucks 6'-2" 202lbs
Career stats: 484 games 131 goals 157 assists 445 PIM

I saw this guy's game was for real during the 2010 Winter Olympics. Just a total force on the ice. I'd trade the entire Bruins roster and their draft picks for the next 10 years for Ryan Kesler.

Bs win

2011-04-06T22:27:00.004-04:00

4th line played a complete game as the B's sunk the Islanders, 3-2
Who is this Daniel Paille? The 4th line was possessed the other night, their 1st period performance was one of the best all season. Getting pucks deep and wearing down the opposition. That's the shit we need for the playoffs.
That Grabner can skate, huh?
We were on "Gillies Alert" everytime he had a shift - he could have attacked Krejci or Bergeron and killed our playoff hopes.
Today the B's coasted to a 3-1 win vs. the Senators. The Sens got nothing.
Fight today, Horton vs. Zack Smith. Smith can throw. Horton pretty much got beat, but kept swinging away. Horton makes these huge, slow punches, like Lincecum windups. But if they ever land, it's ova.
Highlight reel goal by Peverley. Kinda this self-pass thing off the boards, got his own pass there, cut to the center and backhanded it in. I taught him how to skate.
Local boy and budding Bruin killer Bobby Butler scored. A guy in my row made sure to let everyone around us know that he & Butler were buds and hung out, played, etc.
A brief "we want the Cup" chant started towards the end of the game. A bit premature for that.
Recchi just keeps passing milestones with each game he plays. Today, he passed Chris Chelios for 4th all-time in games played. Chris Chelios can lick my balls.
Bulldogs going for it all tonight in the Frozen Four Final vs. Michigan. The 'dogs have a power play to behold. Quoth a 311 member, "I see that power play, I get instant wood."
McQuaid is, like, a flannel shirt and a Subaru away from being the Bruins first lesbian hockey player or something. His "cuts for a cause" buzz cut mullet hairdo is something else I tell ya.
Paille! with another goal! Amazing pass from Soupy and Paille crashing the net with his stick on the ice, can't argue with any of that. Where is this coming from?

B's Collapse

2011-04-05T18:29:00.005-04:00

So the B's collapsed under the weight of their own bullshit last night, losing to the Rangers in the 3rd period, 5-3.

Ryan Callahan got a broken ankle from a Chara slapshot.
Dirty goal from Paille, crashing the net. He's picked up his game of late. This morning's T&R had some spieling between the hosts and Haggs there, Haggs was thinking that Paille's the only one who actually played a 60 minute game last night, while everyone loafed after getting the 3-0 lead. Shit, I thought it was "game over", especially given the fact that the Rangers can't score. Paille pisses me off, but I can say he's at least trying. Someone else, I forget who, brought up the point that Seguin is too friggin scared to play dirty in the corners. Ryder and Paille can do the dirty work in the corners. I dunno. Paille can kill penalties, too. I'm thinking if the series is tied, 2-2, you won't see Seguin in the lineup. But if we're up 3-0 (ha) or down 0-3, you'll see Seguin in there to fool around.
Time to fire Cload. 311'ers were noting over email today that if the B's play the Caps in the 2nd round, it's pretty much Boudreau vs. Cload, since both coaches will be sacked if their respective teams do not advance beyond that round.
Wait. Why are you reading this blog? You should be at Days of Y'orr, which has more creative photoshops in 1 post than I could compose in 1 year.

Metaphor for B's collapse. Enjoy.

B's win, 3-2

2011-04-02T21:06:00.002-04:00

See what I did there? I was working some jedi mind-shit when I called out Ryder's shootout skillz the other day. And today he scores the winning goal on a penalty shot.

Really, though, not a good game. The return of Wheels (missed the net on a 2-on-1 breakaway) and Stuart did not yield much. Stuey got a bigger ovation than Wheels. Wheels managed to stay onside for his new club.
To no one's surprise, Marchand won the 7th player. Was a few years ago when the winner used to be able to give a speech - I remember Raycroft thanking his girlfriend or something and all the chicks in the crowd booed that.
Paille, actually showing some finish for once to go with his speed, scoring a nice shorthanded goal after Bogosian coughed it up at the goal line.
Hnidy's first game back. Didn't do terrible, I think he had 3 shots in about 14 minutes of play.
Rask looked retahded on the Bufflin (too lazy to spell...) goal. Rebound up and over his head, down his back. Derrrrrr.
Oh yeah, we clinched the NE Division title.

B's Lose in SO, 4-3

2011-04-01T18:27:00.004-04:00

Someone please put Toronto out of their misery, huh? The Bruins could have done some good by pounding this team down, stepping on their neck in order to sweeten that draft pick. But, the B's are laying down now that the 3rd seed is all but wrapped up.

HOLY SHIT, if I have to see Cload drop the ball when it comes to shooters in the shoot-out, I'm gonna freak. Ryder is NOT shootout material, not when a hack like me can figure out that, if he even gets it on net at all, he's going low glove. "Hands guys", Cload - send Krejci, Bergeron, and Seguin EVERY TIME. Cload is as soft as puppy shit when it comes to Ryder.
Seguin, pushing around Luke Schenn in a scrum. Better pick on someone smaller, kid. Schenn would ruin you. But at least Seguin's pretending to get pissed.
Kessel, throwing a punch at Marchand. Oh, that woulda been good. According to the Herald, Marchand did a fake golf swing in front of the TOR bench. I missed it. But that's an awesome move. Kessel got a lot of boos last night, but no "Kessel sucks" chants.
No Horton/Phaneuf III tonight. They really hate each other, it's awesome.
Yeah, losing to the Rangers 1-0 was lame - I dodged the game to go skiing (Dumont Cup, right, where the announcer makes up the moves the freestylers do on the spot, I swear, right, "oh, he just did a fakie back-side 1260 spongecake with a dab of cool whip". shutthefuckup, asswipe.) Lundqvist OWNS the B's, so I'm not terribly looking forward to that matchup in the playoffs.
Holy shit, the organist kicked into "Brass Bonanza" the other night, I almost hurled. It's like a mating call for the male Whaler fan when he seeks the companionship of basement-dwelling, Crisco-eatin' female Whaler fans.
The 3-0 win by the B's over the B'hawks had to be possibly the most complete win I've witnessed all season, maybe even better than the pee-pee smackin' the B's gave the Habs a week earlier. I dunno. It was just a damn fine game.
Note that Resident NHL Commie Andrew Ference follows Arsenal. As we all know, futbol is for commies. (caveat emptor, LGT American Thinker. Wear a rubba.)
Dennis Wideman has a hematoma.
Stan Jonathan at the game last night. The original #17 barely got a standing ovation, as the pink hats in the crowd said "who?" in between mugging for the jumbotron and dicking around with their iphones. Pound-for-pound, one of the toughest dudes to play for the B's, I can't embed this video enough onto this blog. Here he is, destroying Pierre Bouchard's face. Poetry.

Ok, wow

2011-03-25T06:33:00.002-04:00

Getting stuck at work for a B's/Habs home game is bad enough. Why did I have to miss this one? I was lucky enough to attend the 8-6, 187 PIM, Iron League like battle last month. Last night, through the TV, that building sounded like it was going to fall down. Remember when the NHL series on Sega Genesis used to show you the highest decibel attained for the crowd? I would love to see that statistic or even an average decibel level from last night. It sounded louder than a Slipknot concert. Did it feel great to beat the Habs to a bloody pulp? Wasn't it wonderful to watch the Pea Soup Eaters legs turn to rubber halfway through the third and look like a typical Bruins team as the real B's skated circles around them? Could Jack Edwards ask for a better birthday present? Yes, yes, and no.

BUT.......as I am a typical New England sports fan, here's my real spin on this game. We're in trouble. If the B's/Habs match up does happen in the playoffs, the B's and their fans are screwed again. Those of you in the building last night, I have to think you just watched the Bruins win their Stanley Cup. The mentality of this team (i.e. we made the second round of the playoffs two years in a row!!) is akin to bringing home a C+ to your parents and asking them to hang it on the fridge. They will ride this win for at least two weeks, thinking they have the affection of Boston fans because, hey, we beat Montreal and their stupid 911 abusing fans. Prove me wrong Bruins.

God I hope I'm wrong and this is the spring board they need to get their sh*t together for a playoff run that would cost me a crap ton of money. Here's to hoping that my tax return is spoken for this April/May/June.

B's win

2011-03-24T07:08:00.002-04:00

The B's woke up from their slumber and beat the Devils, 4-1.

Goals by Lootch, Recchi (en), Chara, Thornton. Since Chara knocked out Pacioretty, he has been on a bit of a scoring tear. Okay, I just checked. Maybe not. 2-5-7 +4 totals in the last 7 games.
Thought we were in for another Devils/B's snoozer, you know, with teams combining for 25 shots the entire game. Not to be had, as the Devils outshot the B's something like 503 to 3 in the 1st period. Most of the Devils shots did not produce rebounds, Thomas just gobbled them up and got faceoffs.
BUT we finally scored a PP goal, now we're 2 for our last, what, 4,905. Lootch set up Chara with a nice pass. Bergeron also made a bit of a circus pass to Lootch for Lootch's goal, making the pass against his own momentum.
Mahk Recchi, stirring the shitstorm yesterday on Felga & Mazz. (Mazz is not funny, btw. He is the worst of typical nerdboy hangers-on. Never good enough to start for the high school football team (or even make the team), he decided to write about it so he could get in close on the action, get close to the players. sycophant, he is. That's what so weird about sportswriters these days - trying to be as big as the players themselves. It reminds me of Lester Bangs and how he make rock 'n roll journalism better than rock 'n roll itself at times. HE was the rock star, not the clown he was writing about. The difference being that Bangs is good and Mazz, et al. are less than good. Also, ESPN really sucks. Really, who GIVES A SHIT about college ball??? Just that d-bag in your office who still reads Bill Simmons (and not ironically, either) and still talks about his bracket. Look, no one cares about the bracket unless they're in the money and the only reason they're in the money is pure luck. "gee I really thought State University of Basketweaving was gonna beat CU of North Texas". College hoops and College football are hugely retarded. But I did fill out my frozen four bracket with NDAK going all the way.) What was I talking about before going on some convoluted, incomprehensible, baseless rant? oh yeah. Recchin ball alleged that the Habs exaggerated Pacioretty's (sick of typing that name) injury in order to get Chara suspended. Yeah, probably their abilities for diving/embellishment extend right up from the ice to ownership & management.
I don't think there will be any funny stuff tonight. Maybe 1 or 2 fights or something, but it'll be closely officiated (first four penalties on the B's, easy) with the B's being shorthanded most of the game.

B's Lose

2011-03-19T22:04:00.005-04:00

The B's are something like 1-100-3 in the past 7 games and it's time to hit the panic button. Remember in 2007, when the Devils sacked Julien with a week left to the regular season, despite a first place standing, because they felt that he didn't have the team ready for the playoffs?

Horton & Phaneuf simply hate each other. Horton was ready to kill him in the 3rd period tonight. They fought, Phaneuf hid behind his visor, nothing much came of it.
Seguin with 5 shots tonight, robbed twice by Reima. Seguin had a jump in his step tonight but still doesn't play the body or fight hard enough for pucks.
Garbage time (19.8 seconds left) goal by Paille (been calling him "Pie-nay" instead of "Pie-yay" at the games since we don't want him out there), time for everyone to pick him up on your fantasy teams.
Quaider did a pylon impression on the Schenn goal, but redeemed himself with a hustle goal a few minutes later. Then the game pretty much went awful from there as Reima stopped everything that was shot at him and the Leafs buried every chance that came their way.

Here's McQuaid on the Schenn goal.

Tim Thomas is rockin' some serious mustache there.

Marchand Suspended

2011-03-17T15:00:00.003-04:00

Brad Marchand got 2 games for hitting R.J. Hamburger to the head. No surprise here - the league's getting goofy about this stuff and here was just wrong place/wrong time for both Marchand/Umbergah. Marchand's 5'-9" in hooker heels and Umberger's 6'-2"...

If you can't get enough of Marchand's hit, here ya go, courtesy of the Youtube Bruins Jesus, Dafoomie.

B's win

2011-03-16T11:45:00.002-04:00

B's won in a shootout last night, 3-2. Seguin with the OT goal, Rask with some great saves in the 3rd period and during the shootout.

As you probably know by now, Habs fans have been protesting outside the Bell Centre. The league has decided not to do much about headshots, etc. really, except keep an eye out for boarding/charging. For those of you who can't get enough, follow Pacioretty's twitter here. He liked the movie "Hall Pass".
Long-awaited display of Peverley's skill last night on his sweet shorthanded goal.
Ryder finally given a seat. Accountability, etc. seen as the reason, as Ryder has been slacking the past few weeks after heating up for awhile and showing some skillz. Seguin played in his place, didn't do much, but got the game-winner during the shootout. Seguin needs to drink a little of that dunks coffee he pimps during the hi-energy play schtick on NESN.
Last night was the franchise's 2800th win.
Scottie Updouche continues to kill the B's, scoring a goal last night. Maybe the Habs will figure this out and sign him someday, have him skate on a line with Plekanec.
The B's got about 5 seconds? or something of PP time last night, whereas CBJ had, like, hundreds of power plays. Curious to see if this is a trend...Islanders game featured 4 penalties on the Isles and 3 on the B's...11 penalties on the B's and 7 on Buffalo...that's, what, +8 on the Bruins since the Chara hit. Might have to watch this to see if there's a trend...

Don Cherry HNIC

2011-03-13T19:14:00.002-04:00

Nilan Butt-end

2011-03-12T05:34:00.003-05:00

Check about 1:30 of the video.

Bruins losing, 3-2

2011-03-11T21:16:00.002-05:00

As this post goes to press (ha), the B's are playing a sloppy game vs. the Isles. Isles are a sad-sack team but they're playing like they got nothing to lose...so why not.

To start, let's witness some of the Canadiens' greatest "hits".

Just think of any Canadien dirtbag of the past 25-30 years and do a youtube search.

Chris Chelios (whose career is a highlight reel of cheap hits) on Brian Propp:

Pacioretty boards Eaton

Lapierre on Nichol

Latendresse on DiMaio

Mon dieu! Hockey is a violent sport - was there an investigation after this? Shit, I think this is only a "part 1" of the Battle of Quebec.

Pat LaFontaine's career ended by concussions. Certainly this high hit by Guy Carbonneau didn't help.

Martinson sucker punches Byers

Who can forget that dickslap Petr Svoboda?

Brian Skrudland lays out Don Sweeney with an elbow/shoulder to the chops.

Patrice Brisebois (breeze-by) hits Darcy Tucker, Tucker's head goes right into the boards. Okay, Tucker probably had it coming...

Last night, as the puck went thru Seidenberg's legs at the point on the power play, a 311-er exclaimed, "dammit, Wideman-berg"
Bruins released the St. Patrick's Day hats. Drab, olive-green military-style baseball caps with spoked-B in front, TD Bank in bank. I sense a Ference influence here, wanting the B's fans to resemble Fidel Castro.
The Matt Bartkowski era needs to end.
So the corporations that have so far threatened to pull sponsorship of the NHL, Via Rail & Air Canada, are both based out of Montreal. OUTRAGE! We were wronged!!!
Yeah, B's lost to the Islanders. Horrible.
Seriously, Montreal is a one-team, one-sport town. Folks who got nothing to do but follow just that team. The Alouettes aren't playing, so all there is to do is to get drunk, eat some Timbits and poutine, and whine about the Canadiens and their perception of the team as hockey royalty.
The game on 3/24 at the Garden is gonna be huge. Homeland Security threat level color(s) will go from orange to bleu, blanc et rouge and the pat-downs we got last night before the Sabres game will be nothing in comparison. I'm actually wondering if they'll have Habs/B's legends do some sort of PSA before the game so the Boston fans don't clobber anyone during/after the game. They did a PSA when all that booing the national anthems thing was going on a few years back. The bitch of it is, is that there isn't going to be some sort of Chara vs. the Habs thing, or Chara vs. Gill (wouldn't that be humorous?), but probably someone on the Habs will take a run at a smaller Bruin forward like Krejci, knock him out, then things get really ugly.

B's Lose, 4-1

2011-03-09T19:01:00.001-05:00

RAGE.

B's lose in OT, 3-2

2011-03-06T08:39:00.004-05:00

Kept from posting during the winning streak due to superstition. It's probable that there was a direct correlation between the win streak and the lack of new posts here at Vf311.

Hurricane O'Reilly's doesn't have Captain Morgan? wha...??
No Bergeron last night and it showed. I think we went 0 for 1,000,000 on faceoffs. Okay, I just checked, the B's actually beat the Pens at the faceoff dot, 29 wins to 27 wins. But let's not let the facts get in the way of my misinformation dissemination - Bergy took a personal day to wax his eyebrow and the B's paid dearly for it.
Jackass in front of me and his brat kids were standing about 3 seconds before the Krejci goal that tied it, missed the goal. 1st goal, though, Lootch was just a huge beast, screening Fleury so he never saw Chara take a shot.
Power play still looks anemic. Things appear smoother with Kaberle around, but they're just not getting anything into the net. It's weird.
I like the snarl that has appeared in Nathan Horton's game. I'm not sure what has caused this, but it results in him being engaged in the flow of the game, therefore he's taking more shots and beating on people in the corners, looking to make hits, and generally causing a ruckus. It's probably the Lootchian influence. Still, I was watching Lootch & Krejci at the other end of the ice when Horton beat? Craig Adams down.
Shawn Thornton had a rare loss, fighting the much bigger Mike Rupp. Rupp is just a big dude. Rupp is 6'-5", which reminds me of Blake Wheeler. Imagine if Wheels played with Rupp's physicality (or if Rupp played with, uh, Wheels' offensive, uh, finish?) That would be some kind of power forward, yah?

That's a dude. Look at that perm, boinging away. Look at that Letang jersey. Thankfully, he was quiet & respectful. But too many Pens fans (frontrunners) were at the game last night, ruining everything. Also, spied some Nordiques jerseys (huh?), and Whalers jerseys. Son, if you're wearing a Whalers jersey out in public, you're pretty much admitting to the world that you've given up on life.

Gregory Campbell is due to haul ass on some poor sap's face. I dunno if he got a stern talking to from Poppa Soup, but he's been quiet with his fists lately.
Bob McKenzie (TSN) chips in with some PHX to Winnipeg talk. So does Darren Dreger ...anything to get rid of Confederate Flag hockey. I'm convinced that the only reason for warm-climate hockey is so the players/coaches, etc. get to play golf during the season.
Is "McKenzie" to Canada what "Chang" is to China? NO. According to this, it's not even in the top 20. Nothing like obliterating a stereotype. Now I feel empty.
When the B's fire Claude Julien, is the Herald going to use the banner headline "De-Claude" on the back page? I should copyright that shit right now.
It irritates me to see Seguin pull up on delivering checks, not big checks, but just checks against the boards. It is this whiff of Kesselosity that's in his game that really annoys me. In a somewhat related note, Taylor Hall blew out his ankle the other night in his first fighting major of the season.
Nice open-ice hit by Seidenberg on Letang, later negated by Seidenberg's assist on the Pens winning goal.

Heritage Classic

2011-02-21T07:16:00.004-05:00

An outdoor matchup in front of 41,000 screaming, half-frozen hosers at McMahon Stadium in Calgary featured the Flames beating down the Habs, 4-0.

I like watching the Habs lose in front of a national audience.
Hal Gill sucks.
Local boy Andy Brickley doing the color commentary for the Versus network. While Jack Edwards is regarded as one of the loonier play-by-play guys in the NHL, our own Andy Brickley has emerged as being one of the best color guys covering the NHL today. There was an uptick to the give-a-shit index here at the 311 newsroom because Brick was covering the game.
Carey Price with a mask/helmet done in the style of Jacques Plante, really looked more creepy than being a tribute. It's the stuff from which bad dreams are made.
No zamboni. I forget why (too cold, weight would crack ice or something? I'm too lazy to look it up*), but dudes were shoveling and hosing down the ice between periods. I guess as the sun went down in Calgary, it got wicked cold. Weather.com had Calgary temps at 15F. WIMPS.
Folks at tsn.ca love to call Boston, "Beantown". Anyone you know locally who calls Boston, "Beantown"? It's like...how to spot an out-of-towner...they call it "Beantown". "Beantown" etymology; also, here.

*it's this kind of ace journalism that makes Vf311 the best blog in town.

B's win; Chiarelli Rolls Dice

2011-02-20T09:51:00.002-05:00

Yup.

As we all know well by now, the B's packaged Joe Colborne, a 1st round pick, and a conditional pick to the Maple Laffs to get our rent-a-player, Tomas Kaberle. My understanding is that the conditional pick hems on the B's making (or winning) the Stanley Cup and/or re-signing Kaberle. Kaberle looked okay during their 4-2 win over Ottawa the other night, but looked best on the power play, feeding Chara juicy passes for one-timer attempts. The word on Colborne is that for a 6'-6" dude, he played pretty soft, not utilizing his size in the corners, etc. But TOR thinks they got 2-1st rounders for Kaberle, and their future looks bright, but the Leafs will always blow.
As we all know well by now, the B's, in order to make room for the Kaberle contract, sent Mark Stuart & Blake Wheeler to Atlanta for Rich Peverley & Boris Valabik. Valabik is a monster, a throw-in on the deal who will probably amount to nothing despite his huge size and deep love for all things Chara. Rich Peverley is another smart forward like Chris Kelly who will get dirty in the corners unlike Wheeler. It's no secret that I'm pleased that Wheeler and his self-passes are gone. Losing Stuart kind of sucks (got in a fight in his first Atlanta game; Wheels got an assist), but as someone said over email on friday - if it means we get to raise Lord Stanley's Cup at the cost of Mark Stuart, I'll do it.

Where is our puck-moving d-man?

2011-02-17T06:59:00.002-05:00

Random junk, let the irrationality and misinformation begin:

Roster from the other night indicated that Blake Wheeler likes Steely Dan. It corresponds with his laid back ways. The Dan is cool, but Wheels is not. I hope he's packaged up with a pick and sent away for our future d-man.
Chris Kelly on his way from Ottawa. A dude from the Chiarelli days, it seems as though he's a PJ Axelsson-type with better finishing skillz. Good on PK, responsible defensively, great locker room presence, etc.
Speaking of skillz, dontcha hate Hal Gill? Man, he sucks.
Mark Stuart has worked his way back into the lineup after Boychuk started sucking and found his way to the press box. Stuey hasn't beaten anyone up yet, but here thinks he's suppressing some serious rage, being supplanted by Kampfer, so I think whoever is going to pay, is going to pay big and they will be bloodied.
No "Kesssss-elllll" chants from the crowd the other night, so Kessel used this as a reason to actually play a somewhat decent game, scoring 2 goals to help beat the B's, 4-3. He was booed every time he touched the puck, but it didn't cause unforced errors like previous times. Chara checked Grabovski into the boards and it didn't appear to be a bad hit, but the dude fell to the ice, then tried to get up and fell again. I didn't think his head was involved but he appeared to be woozy. Didn't affect him skating thru the porous scoring the winning goal with a minute left, though.
It appears that Horton has settled into a deep coma.
Having Recchi on the point during the power play feels weird, but at this point, I think Cload is trying anything for PP goals, I can't blame him for trying something, anything, to get results.
Where is our puck-moving defenseman? I mean, really, we have this conversation every year, and every year they do nothing. Lame.

B's Return to Sleepwalking Ways

2011-02-12T10:58:00.002-05:00

Last night's game - it didn't happen, okay?

Typical B's the past few years. Play a game that gets the pulse beating of the fanbase, especially the casual/hibernating fans...everyone tunes in, gets interested, and then they negate that effort with a dead game - this time vs. the very good Red Wings. So to all you folks who raised your head up after slumbering for the past 20 or so years, go back to sleep - this team may not, in fact, be forreal. Needless to say, I did not DVR this game.

What the eff, Tuuukkka? I've seen the ol' shoot-the-puck-off-the-goalie's-back work before (Bergeron did this to someone), but you really lost your focus on this one. Your head is simply not in the game.
Too many Red Wings fans last night. It was Euro-trash last night at the Fleet. But they were a generally well-behaved set.
Someone barfed upon leaving the upper concourse level. Went into a nook at the top of the stairs and spewed all over the concrete floor. I'm not sure if this was a result of the game or something else, but it was pretty nasty. I saw carrots.
What a shitshow.

The NHL is Decadent and Depraved

2011-02-10T19:37:00.003-05:00

So, yeah, the B's played the Habs last night, beat them down pretty good, winnings 8-6 and earning some 90 something minutes in penalties in the process. A lot happened last night, so I'm sure I'm forgetting nearly everything.

So folks like Lapierre, Kostopoulos, etc. have been replaced by Subban and Pacioretty. Pacioretty is from CT. That explains a lot.
Came home, put "Bruins in 2" on DVR just to hear Jack Edwards have an aneurysm on the air when the fights started. I watched it this morning and boy, one fight that definitely didn't look like much from where I was sitting but was positively ruthless was Campbell's beatdown of Tom Pyatt. Pyatt absorbed what I counted 14 consecutive lefts courtesy of Campbell's wee fist. KPD was nutz (okay, everyone's been creaming over last night's performance. Michael Felger was just drooling all over Mazz today.) about Campbell's "frenetic, raw fury not seen since the days of O'Reilly".
A caller on one of those shows drew up this comparison and I thought it was fitting:

Pierre LeBrun whined/tweeted that Boychuk & Thornton lost respect for going after Spacek & Hamrlik, but really folks when the line brawl happens, ya grab the nearest guy and starting whaling on him. And Pyatt threw the first punch on Campbell and Campbell finished him off.
As usual, had some goofy U-S-A! chants going on despite the Habs having some 5-6 Americans on their roster compared to the Bruins 2 or 3. Also, we didn't hear any hosers booing the National Anthems or showing any disrespect, so as usual, it's the few that ruin it for everyone, yet still causing all radio hosts & callers to start breathing fire over a coupla drunken hosers in skinny jeans acting all retarded.
Krejci: STOP FIGHTING. Leave that to the guys who, well, can. He's 160lbs and can't throw a punch, but takes on Benoit Pouliot and gets KO'd on one punch. We can't lose another center, so I hope Cload set him straight. OR, learn how to punch/defend yourself the next time you want to drop 'em.
Krejci/Lootch/Horton were each +5 last night. Insane.
NESN correctly pointed out that Chara made a bee-line right for Pacioretty to smash his face in because of the way the last game ended at the Bell Centre. Also, during the 3rd? line brawl, Recchi was screaming at the linesmen/refs to let the fights happen, "let 'em go!!" while Recchi had Plekanec (or some other hapless Hab) wrapped up.
So the line brawl finishes, the refs are sorting out the mess and what does the FleetGarden play? not something to incite fear, but rather, "Bang the Drum All Day" by Todd Rundgren. And so the mood changes in the place from one of fear to one of celebration.
Ray Allen just set the NBA all-time record for career 3-pointers. Now I can stop watching this game. I've already seen about 400 travelling non-calls. Celtics/Lakers on a Thursday night is odd - should be on sunday afternoon on CBS with Dick Stockton & Hubie Brown. It is notable that Marv Albert is aging his toupee accordingly.* BEAT LA BEAT LA. Remember it was the Celtics' Chris Ford in 1981 who shot the first 3-pointer in NBA history. Ray Allen, he got game.

*I think some comedian (Denis Leary? Bill Hicks?) mentioned something about this once...

B's get shut out

2011-02-06T16:44:00.002-05:00

B's got shut out yesterday, 2-0.
Some dude (Dennis Kulyash) in the KHL shot a 110.3 mph shot the other day. You know how certain radar guns are faster than others, like in baseball ("yeah, he hit 98 on the Jugs gun")? I mean, the device was probably calibrated by the Russian mob or something. As far as I am concerned, it never happened.
Phil Kessel was benched, then moved to the 3rd line for the Maple Leafs. He has a 10 game scoring drought, and is -22. Ron Wilson and he are not getting along. Kessel gets picked last for the All-Star draft, gives an awkward interview, wins a wimpy Honda. Ladies & gents, Phil Kessel is the gift that just keeps on giving, yeah?
got nuthin'.

B's Harpoon Whale; Stars See Stars

2011-02-04T21:56:00.002-05:00

The other night, the B's hung on to beat the Whalers, 3-2. I actually fell asleep during the 2nd intermission of the game, missing the go ahead goals by Bergeron & Horton. But at least Horton scored. Also missed the crazy saves by Thomas to keep the B's in the lead.

The other day, a Whaler fan came out from its mom's basement, saw its shadow and ran back downstairs. 6 more weeks of winter.
Oh yes, 3 fights in 4 seconds. It was headline news, it even made ESPN. Even Chiarelli admitted on T&R admitted today that he enjoyed the fisticuffs. Of course, it was all made sweeter with the quick goals that were scored right afterwards. But it made for the most exciting period of hockey we've had in awhile - 4 fights and 4 goals. And 3 of those fights had KO's as well. On NESN, Milbury was positively aglow, as he spent more time analyzing the fights than the game itself. Said McQuaid's style was reminiscent of old-school Neely fights.
Nice screen by Kampfer on the goal by Morrow.
Blown coverage by Seguin on the Skrastins goal. He was caught flat-footed. Plus Seguin missed 2 open net opportunities.
Paille throws the first check in his life, ends up getting suspended for 4 games and getting fined most of his salary.
Marchand is establishing himself as the leading candidate for the 7th player award and maybe even the Calder Trophy?
Zach Hamill was called up to replace Paille, and is probably serving as a tryout in the Marc Savard replacement sweepstakes.
Now just have to see if the team can build upon these recent wins and stomp the Sharks tomorrow.

Plan the Parade Route

2011-01-28T12:06:00.001-05:00

Put Mayor Menino on notice, he better start planning the parade route for June. Lord Stanley's Cup is coming. Now even the most optimistic of Bruins fans will laugh at this, but here are ten reasons why this team could have the goods in no particular order:

#1 Tim Thomas. Not since Dominik Hasek's days in Buffalo has the Vezina race been over by the all-star break. He has been absolutely dominant. Hopefully Tuukka gets more reps down the stretch to keep Timmy fresh for the postseason. Timmy was outplayed by Cam Ward two years ago in the 2nd round after his first Vezina season, but I have a different feeling about him this time around. He is so focused and so sharp that he seems to have reached another level.

#2 The Bruins are behind only Vancouver and Philadelphia in goal differential on the season. And they are 6th in the league in goals per game! It was much discussed that they were 30th on offense last season of course. They also have the fewest goals against and are on their way to another Jennings trophy this year. So, they have the balanced O and the solid D - a formula for playoff success. As we know, when David Krejci went down in Game 3 last year against the Flyers, we lost that balanced O and then lost the series. Losing Savard really hurts - though his numbers don't show it, it was him getting it going that spurred this team into playing incredibly well since xmas. He was just about to break out before Hunwick sent him back to Peterborough. I'm hoping he takes the rest of the season off for his own good.

#3 The Bruins are the best 3rd period team in the league this season. Only Vancouver has scored more goals in the 3rd so far this season (62 to 61), but our B's have only allowed 31 goals against for a +30 differential. The Canucks are 2nd best with a +23. What does this mean? That when the game is on the line, the Bruins are at their best. They show that playoff "gear" in the third period.

#4 Playoff experience. Most of the guys have been through the four playoff rounds the past two seasons (five over the past three). Philadelphia and Pittsburgh are the only two teams with more recent experience in the East. This could be worth a key win or two.

#5 Shootouts suck. If not for the shootout and overtime, the Bruins would be even safer in the standings. For example - let's say every game that goes to OT counts as a tie - no extra points. Here's the Bruins and Habs:

Boston - 26-15-9: 61 points
Montreal - 22-18-10: 52 points

The Bruins are 2-7 in games going to the extra session. Only Phoenix and Ottawa have a lower winning % in the entire league. But guess what, 4-on-4 OT and shootouts don't apply in the postseason so the Bruins are clearly among the elite even though they don't bring a consistent effort on a nightly basis which leads to...

#6 We'll get a consistent effort from the boys in the postseason. The majority of the frustration with watching this team this year is the occasional night off they take (unfortunately usually on home ice). OK fine, it's frustrating when we pay money to watch them as season ticket holders and they drop stinkers at home like against the Wild and the Sabres this past month, but count me among the many that would rather see a few stinkbombs at home during the regular season if it means the boys are ready to go come April. Two years ago after that fantastic regular season, the team may have shot their wad. As we all know, no wads have been shot yet this season.

#7 Big Z is healthy. I love this guy. To all of those Bruins fans who boo him when he doesn't keep a puck in at the blueline: go fuck yourselves! He's in the conversation for the Norris yet again. To those idiots who berate him: Watch players bounce off him in the defensive zone or how many times he calmly shields a guy off and gets the puck to the open man or breaks up a play with his reach. Also, watch opposing forwards have second thoughts when they go into his corner. He's tasked with matching up against the top offensive players every night and he leads the team in +/- at a +22 (tied for 4th best in the entire league).

#8 Patrice Bergeron. This may be his Stevie Y season in the playoffs. The kid is ready to carry a team to a critical win or two. His concussion is finally a distant memory and he is playing great hockey.

#9 Contributions from the young kids. Brad Marchand is the perfect kind of player for the playoffs - you could make a Claude Lemieux comparison. He's going to draw some big penalties and chip in offensively. I can see Tyler pulling a Kessel circa 2008: Claude benching him for not bringing it and him coming back to score a big goal or two. He has the skills that all he needs is a moment to change a game in the Bruins favor.

#10 Forward depth. The depth up front is far better than the past two years. I think Soupy can step up to the 3rd line center role that was filled by Vladdy last year. That's what carried the Bruins over Buffalo was three lines that were going then Vladdy tweaked his shoulder late in that series and then we lost Krejci and then it was over. Bergy/Krejci/Soupy up the middle is a lot better than what we had last year. There is also more firepower on their flanks than what was sent out there last year: gone will be Satan, 60% Lucic, Paille (no way he makes the playoff roster), Begin, 30% Savvy. In steps Nathan Horton, 100% Lucic, Tyler Seguin, Brad Marchand, and Gregory Campbell. That is an enormous step up.

I also want Peter to go out and get a blueliner for the playoff run if Savvy's cap number is indeed freed up due to LTIR as it probably will be. Hopefully Providence can take care of forward depth - maybe they'll look to add one depth guy up front, but it certainly won't be a high-priced guy one would think (replace Paille's salary). Spend the money on the blueline!

Reserve the duck boats, paint those traffic barriers so they're nice and shiny, and start producing the ticker-tape.

I'll be the first to admit I'm foolishly optimistic, but why not.

10:30pm start time...zzzzz

2011-01-24T19:34:00.003-05:00

Yeah, right. No way I'm making it to opening faceoff tonight.

B's are ranked #1 in TSN's power rankings today.
It's official - Savvy has been diagnosed with a concussion
Have you seen this NHL Guardian Project thing? I guess comic book legend guy Stan Lee has taken each of the teams and turned them into some sort of comic book hero based on the mascot and the city. "The Bruin" is wicked smaht and roars really loud. Well, anyway, there's supposed to be some sort of, uh, presentation during the All-Star game where the projections of the characters, uh, save the folks in the arena from something (Bett Man?). I dunno, I read the story all half-assed and can't even form an opinion on it, except it sounds a little goofy though the renderings are somewhat badass. My hope is that the Canadiens super hero is true to form - an undersized diving fop.
The Whaler Fan should be drawn as a super villian - a thixotropic mass of whale blubber that hibernates in its mom's basement until it is feeding time, where it slimes up the stairs and feasts/terrorizes towns. Kinda like an acne-ridden T-1000, but made of lard instead of liquid steel.

B's Pound Nordiques, 6-2

2011-01-22T19:23:00.003-05:00

Bruins shook off the jet lag and clobbered the Nordiques this afternoon, 6-2. The B's started out real slow until Soupy decided to take on Kirk McLean. The fight was pretty much average as far as Soup's performance, but it woke up the team and they played really well right after that. Caught a few bounces, etc. but it was all good.

Wheeler seemed to not play bad today. They should just rotate shitty-playing forwards with Thornton & Soupy so they can re-educate on how to play in the corners.
Marchand continues to make everyone around him play better. 2 goals, 2 assists, +4 for Marchand today. Set up Recchi with a gorgeous pass, faking out everyone around, Recchi put it in an empty net.
Lootch coming alive, scored 2 goals today. Hasn't fought in awhile, I think someone's gotta pay one of these days.
Jeez, Adam Foote still plays. For some reason, that franchise likes to have this vestige from the days of Le Colisee chugging around the ice.

Adam Foote, waaaay back before he was washed up.

I'm really sick of Cumby's throttling of the gas pumps.
Mahk S'vahd got hit by old friend Matt Hunwick during the game - shoulder to the head, head to the boards/dasher. Savvy looked like he was in some serious pain, didn't return. What's his damage, why can't he avoid getting his head in the way? Might be time for a visor.
Peter Forsberg. YEAH RIGHT.

Horton Needs a Beatin'

2011-01-21T08:15:00.004-05:00

Minnesota mused last night, "just watch Nathan Horton during his entire shift. He just kind of skates around, watches things happen, doesn't hit anyone, doesn't engage anyone in any puck battles..."

Nathan Horton (6'-2", 230lbs) was directly responsible for 2 of Buffalo's 4 goals last night as the B's lost, 4-2. Horton needs to spend some time on the bench and de-Wheeler-ize himself a bit. So does Seguin. Seguin is completely chicken-shit out there. These guys simply do not want to work in the corners. They make me long for the days of Peter Schaefer and his crazy work in the corners. Suck as he may, Schaefer always emerged from the corners with the puck. Which just goes to show you how important our 4th line is. Without Thornton, Campbell, and whoever's been busted to 4th line duty due to suckage (right now it's Wheeler), the B's would much easier to play against.

Why does this team hate us? They play great on the road (14-5-4) and suck balls at home (12-9-3).

I had written (yet another) substandard post last night briefly discussing the B's sweep of the Whalers. I clicked "publish post", then fell asleep, nothing came up. You're not missing much. Speaking of which, saw a Ron Francis Whaler jersey last night in 309. Horrible. I didn't attend the MLK day matinee, probably a good thing, what, with the restraining order imposed upon me by the pasty-white Whaler fan collective.

Chiarelli loves www.capgeek.com, as revealed Wednesday on Toucher 'n Rich. "They're usually wrong, but they're really good. But they're usually wrong."

Check out this cool panoramic photo of the Garden before a B's game from what looks like Section 312 or 313. (from Universal Hub)

The disparity between the won-loss records of Rask and Thomas is just plain wild. Thomas is heading towards a record-setting season (22-4-6), and could come close to challenging the modern (within the past 30 years) record.

B's Lose

2011-01-16T07:26:00.006-05:00

Too many things peeved me yesterday about the B's 3-2 loss to Pittsburgh. I think I have to start taking pills before games so Wheeler's constant suck-ocity doesn't cause me to lash out. Let the irrationality begin:

Crotchfruit central. Matinee game vs. a marquee opponent means we get a lot of Sunday drivers out there - folks who've never seen a hockey game who just sit there and buy their crotchfruit every morsel of food available. Today was the 2nd straight game that we had a Row 10 infant. Kid had to be, what, 5 days old? The B's power play drought was older than this kid.
Marchand started the game out right, laying out Malkin with a delicious hit at the B's blue line.
Matt Cooke with 2 assists. You gotta be shitting me. The fact that this guy still skates around the Garden ice without being killed blows my mind. Boychuk tried to start with him in the 1st period, but in typical Cooke fashion, he ran away. Cooke needs to be lying unconscious and bleeding on the Garden ice like a walleye.
Kris Letang starting shit with Krejci after the whistle. You gotta be shitting me. Kris Lefuckingtang? What, now that he's a first-team all-star, Letang now thinks he's got the legs to just randomly start some crap with Krejci - arguably the most docile Bruin on the roster? Someone needs to straighten Letang out. What was his suspension/fine for the hit he did on Spezza....? What further irritated me was during this 1-on-5 scrum at the net, all the B's were skating away for a line change or a new Mary Kay catalog, and Kraytch-bomb is in there all alone, crashing the net, and facing the music from the Pens' d-men. And they wonder why the fans can't get behind this team?
Interesting fight between Soupy & Adams. Adams fought well, Soupy finished strong with 3 punches that landed.
Bruins power-less play continues as the most pathetic in the league, given a 4-minute power play after Depuis broke Kampfer's nose, no scoring, barely any shots.
Asshole sitting in Row 12 complaining that we were standing up during the Soupy/Adams fight. One 311'er pointed out, "you can stand up, too, ya know"
Asshole sitting in Row 10 with his "throwback" Crosby jersey on. One of us asked him, "you from Pittsburgh?" He said no, he was from NH but he lived in Pittsburgh for 5 years. What a frontrunner - surely your migration to Shittsburgh and defection to the Penguins was right in time with Crosby's drafting. I wonder if he owns a Pirates jersey? Yeah, probably not. Then he actually started to take offense to folks yelling out that Crosby sucks, etc. Buddy, you come to a game wearing that jersey, complaining about the comments is like complaining about getting wet if you go outside during a rainstorm. Clearly, you invite the comments by wearing the jersey so just lube up, lay down, and take the trash-talk. To be incredulous, to be in disbelief of the comments is to be an attention-whoring shithead. Say what you want about Habs fans, and believe me, I have, but at least they don't cry when they show up at the games wearing their Lyle Odelein jersey and get some trash-talk set their way.

Lyle Odelein. Ugh.

Dave Engelland hitting Savard with an elbow and no retaliation at all from the B's. Engelland loves to fight and barely has any other skill, surely someone could have done something about this.
Wow, Paille really sucks. He ruins everything he touches. Send him away, bring back Caron for the 4th line. He doesn't have the size & grit for 4th line duty.
Seidenberg on the power play. Apparently CLOAD has lost confidence in Boychuk? or something? and now we got Seidenberg thinking he's friggin Nick Lidstrom out there. Then again, 2 assists yesterday. Might be worth a fantasy pickup
Savard, lollygagging on the line changes. Puts his stick up and coasts to the bench during on-the-fly line changes. MOVE YOUR FEET, SAVVY.

"What's that make them?" "Lollygaggers."

Think there's any team out there that would like to give us a top-4 d-man for Wheeler? I think Seguin's been hanging out with Wheeler too much. Seguin really slacked during yesterday's game, made some dumb, Wheeler-esque passes and decisions. They probably take afternoon naps together, play with Wheeler's dog, and all the other lame hobbies Wheeler does that typifies his lazy, have-no-care, breezy, wuss-like nature. Wheeler's dog is probably some wee dog that sits in his lap while Wheels drives around. Dog probably wears this tiny-ass dog sweater while it still shivers. OR, he's just got some lazy-ass bulldog that just sleeps when it's not eatin' or crappin'...and when confronted by another dog, it just pees down its leg, much like its owner.

I Want Matt Cooke

2011-01-14T11:47:00.000-05:00

This turd is public enemy #1

In my estimation, this idiot has yet to pay for what he did to Marc Savard. I think tomorrow is the perfect time for him to pay his dues. The Bruins are riding some serious momentum right now after a thrilling win last night. If not for the disparity between Tim Thomas and Brian Boucher, that could have been a 7-3 loss instead of a 7-5 win, but we'll take it. What better way to build on this momentum than to beat Pittsburgh AND have Matt Cooke answer for his actions all in one afternoon.

There are NO WAVES IN HOCKEY

2011-01-12T11:16:00.000-05:00

Embarrassing.

"I didn't know they did that in Boston, but apparently they do." - David Amber on "On The Fly" - Ouch - Bruins fans: you've been sonned by David friggin Amber.

I'm not sure which section started the wave, but anyone with season tickets in that section should be called for questioning and perhaps placed on suspension.

All I know is Section 311 did not start it, nor did those of us who know better participate in the pink-hatted-ness.

Kudos to some dude who called in to Dave & Bob on the Sports Hub and complained about the wave. To which DA quipped: "I guess the good news is that's all there is to complain about tonight." True. Nice effort by the B's, but that's no excuse for the wave.

Simply Awful

2011-01-08T22:07:00.003-05:00

More Horrible

2011-01-07T20:55:00.004-05:00

Last night the B's gave an inconsistent effort en route to a 3-1 loss to the Wild. They simply could not find their way past them and Theodore had a relatively easy night.

Goal by Kampfer. Seemed really excited about scoring, tried to high five the crowd through the glass. We also thought Hunwick was pretty good when he first came up, too.
Assist to Savard on the Cal Clutterbuck go-ahead goal.
Wicked retarded call on Thornton there - Burns there, he loses an edge about 3 seconds after Thornton lightly hooks him, falls all the way down, ref waits a couple beats, then calls the penalty. Havlat scores a millisecond later. pure bullshit.
Ryder needs to be lit on fire.
Some Minnesota fans were causing some static last night. Folks inquired about the Vikings' season in retaliation. Eventually the cops came and got the Minny folks to settle down
Saw a Paille #20 jersey last night. whoa. That's almost like the time I saw an Alexei Zhamnov jersey a few years back. "hey, this guy, he's got a broken ankle, but he's gonna be good - I think I'll get his jersey" I bet that guy has a Brad Isbister jersey, too. Honestly, I can't stop talking about seeing a Zhamnov jersey - that's just messed up.
Holy shit, what a collapse by the Hoser in the World Juniors, ay? I fell asleep when the game was at 3-0, the gamed looked like it was the bag for the Hosers, and the Russkies scored 5 straight times to win it. Then they partied so hard they couldn't get on the plane to head home.

Streamofconsciousnessbullshitting

2011-01-05T20:19:00.004-05:00

This morning's 98.5 the Sportshub's interview w/ Chiarelli was at times amusing. He revealed that he takes notes during the games and rates each player's performance, then berates Cload the next day. He said he uses a 1 to 5 scale. He admitted to never giving a 1, but once gave out a 1.5. Funny - we do that here as well at Vf311, and I usually get yelled at pretty frequently for giving Wheeler a 1 for every game. Wheeler would pretty much have to cure all forms of cancer for me to consider him worthy of the spoked-B.
Hosers are beating the Russkies, 2-0 so far in the World Juniors. Bob Mackenzie is just losing his mind over Brayden Schenn. Schenn was born on my 14th birthday, WTF.
Ya know what really grinds my gears? People who use the phrase "my bad"; People who use comic sans font; That hyundai commercial with Pomplamoose; Anything to do with Brett Favre - good or bad; Carlos Mencia; How the gas pump always runs slow when it's cold out just so Tedeschi's can suck you into buying a coffee; The fact that Mobil charges extra at the pump for credit card purchases - what, a huge multinational like Mobil can't strike a deal with BoA and get the merchant fees waived?; People who complain about Tim Thomas' contract; People who rip Chara when they don't realize just how good he is; The fact that Ference gets a good contract and we can't do anything for Mark Stuart; Jack Edwards can't say "Kulikov" right; Bob Costas; Joe Buck trying to be like Bob Costas - Joe Buck is pure horrible; Semi-colon overuse; "meta"; Vampire Weekend; the super-thin aisles at Newbury Comics; players who don't finish their checks; getting stuck with shitty announcers for Pats games because the opponent is shitty; anyone who still thinks a cadillac is a good car...

Horrible.

2011-01-02T12:03:00.003-05:00

Ya know, I got some real issues sending our non-hands guys in for the shootout. Chara? Are you kidding me? When you got Krejci & Bergeron on the bench?

The B's lost the other night, 7-6 in a shootout. I can't even begin to describe the oddity of 3 pretty good goaltenders getting smoked for a combined 12 goals.

Strangely, the B's seem to be patting themselves on the back after gaining 8 out of 10 points on the recent road trip. I dunno. I wasn't exactly impressed with all of the games, it wasn't like it was five 6-2 wins with total domination, ya know? The division is weak, so 8 out of 10 is good, but I don't like how they won (or, nearly lost) each game. Was so certain that the Laffs were going to put one in with 10 seconds left or some junk like that because that's the way it's been lately.

I don't understand the logic of sending Ryder & Chara. Ryder, as usual, has nothing - he got lucky last night with his forehand wrister. Chara's got even less than nothing. He showed slapper and then attempted a wrister to go over Miller's blocker but hit him in the leg pad. Seguin returned to shootout form by smoking Miller with a backhand.
Jack Edwards lost his mind during the Seguin-to-Kampfer goal, pretty much saying that "Seguin has arrived" and all sorts of stuff like that. He's lost it. He's also gotta stop wearing the double-breasted suits that swim on him. He needs a new suit guy.
Hey, yeah, horrible officiating vs. the Sabres. Rask clearly had that puck tied up and the ref let the play continue and Stafford stuffed it in. Ference probably should have cleaned him out, but still.
Didn't see the WC but I guess the Pens lost, which is good. I'm quite sick of the league blowing Crosby at every turn. 4 Penguins made the All-Star team. Crosby & Malkin, fine, whatever. Marc Andre Fleury, who had a HORRIBLE start, and Kris Letang. Kris Lefuckingtang? Shootout specialist, fo' sho', but All-Star? Toews & Duncan Keith were the other 2 All-Stars named.
No Gerbe, No Kaleta the other night.
So last night the B's beat the Laffs, 2-1. Cload threw Rask out there to get him back on the horse and Rask did pretty good. Goals by Horton (wicked shot from the slot) and Savvy (wicked shot from the slot). Yeah, I was actually watching the world juniors, too until the Hosers went up 3-0 and stopped watching after that - it was ova at that point. It's still disappointing to hear all about these hotshot players and very few of them being property of the Bruins.
Savvy, startin' some shit in the corners before scoring his goal. Since he's not point-per-game these days, he's trying to compensate by roughing up folks after the whistle?
After the blizzard, I lost cable & internet for a week while Comcast spent some time trying to figure out its shit. Turns out that I had "too much signal" (+30 dB) after a new cable drop was installed. I guess the usual signal is about +/- 10 dB. Who knew? stick salute to my sister who let me crash at her house so I could view the B's games. I ate all of her food.
Check out this Jared Knight story at Kukla's Korner. Pretty sure he was one of the NKOTB, now he plays hockey...
B's come home to play the Wild on Thursday night. Chuck Kobasew has 6-1-7 totals in 24 games.
So the Florida Panthers have this promotion, ya, "We guarantee you'll have a good time, or your money back". holy shit, are you kidding me? Basically, you get a complimentary ticket if it's your birthday, or you're old, or a vet, or just graduated high school, or since we're talking Florida here, successfully nailed your sister.

Line Brawl

2010-12-24T08:08:00.002-05:00

I've only been whining for about 2 years that the B's needed a line brawl. Yet I was not at last night's game, I gave my ticket to a 311'er who was bringing family to the game. So I had to watch it on TV. "LINE BRAWL, there it is, holy shit" as I leapt up from the couch and my face 4" from the screen as Ference was bloodied after going after Meyer who had kinda hit Lootch a little high. Horton threw some bombs on Kane, Savard clung for dear life vs. Little in a fight that should have never happened, McQuaid couldn't find a dance partner, Lootch sucka-punched Meyer, will each probably get a game.
Thornton starts the game off with a super-long fight vs. Boulton, a pretty much expected event when Boston plays Atlanta. He ended up scoring 2 goals with his parents in attendance, no less. Crowd chanting, "we want Thornton", in the post-game, Thornton was just hoping it was louder than the "we want Bitz" chant.
B's play Atlanta next week, let's see what happens. Maybe there will actually be Thrashers fans in attendance, just to see what happens.
Oh yeah, Ryder scored on typical Ryder snap-shot, Paille with 2 assists, Wheeler not looking nearly as retarded as before, Bergy re-discovers his one-on-one mojo and schooled Pavelec for a shortie.

B's slap away Caps, 3-2

2010-12-20T08:18:00.002-05:00

Reversal for the B's in this game, as they started out fast and faded as the game wore on. As you know, the past month of Bruins games has featured slow starts with some great goaltending to keep them in the game, only to have them wake up in the 3rd period and eke out a win or an OTL. Well, this game they came out real strong and scored 3 quick goals - Bergeron on a nice feed from Wheeler (!) and then Ference from the point (first goal in about 1000 games), and then Wheeler (!) scored. Then the B's figured they had worked hard enough and just let the Caps run at them, especially in the 3rd period, where the Caps outshot the B's, 26-2.
Amusing moment, the Caps called a timeout in the 1st period and then on the ensuing faceoff, Matt Bradley went after McQuaid. Nope.

McQuaid pretty much owns him in this fight.

I still find it remarkable that Andrew Ference is not injured yet. I mean, the dude is made of pure crystal; his body will shatter into a fine dust at any moment. When's he going to get injured so we can bring up Bartkowski? Speaking of the young d-men, Kampfer is generally looking okay out there "Remember when we thought Hunwick looked good?", noted Minnesota. Ryan Spooner update - traded from the Peterborough Petes to the Kingston Frontenacs. 19-17-36 totals in 36 games, good for 33rd in the league in scoring. Kingston's logo is an 8-spoked "K" with colors of black 'n gold.

Kraytch-Bombs

2010-12-17T21:41:00.002-05:00

That's right, kids. In a game that pretty much sucked, there was a shining light:

Krejci dropped 'em and got 3 good rights in against Fried Calamari:

Ugh

2010-12-17T17:34:00.006-05:00

So, yeah, uh, 2 back-to-back 1-goal losses to Adams Division rivals (Habs & Sabes).

I got nuthin', as usual. They play the Caps on Saturday night. The Caps are in freefall.

That's Caps coach Bruce Boudreau as an extra in the movie Slapshot. He's #7.

I Hate the Flyers

2010-12-10T15:06:00.007-05:00

In a game that was a lot more close than the score indicates, the B's struggled to a 5-2 win the other night vs. the Islanders. Earlier in the week, they had beaten the Sabres, 3-2 in OT. Last night, they squandered a bunch of opportunities (kept missing the net) and lost to the Flyers in OT, 2-1.

How 'bout that Lootch, huh? 15 goals this far into the season, granted 4 of them are empty nettaz, but he's projected to score, er, 77 goals this season.
League Punching Bag Steve Montador took on Boychuk and it yielded the same result - Montador got beaten by the 'Chuk. Montador should really just have his hands cut off at the wrists and the stubs cauterized, he should not be fighting, nevermind playing hockey. Yeah, I know that, for some reason, he's highly-ranked in the league on plus/minus, but the guy sucks. We've seen it. He shows up, sure, but he sucks. Here, Boychuk slapped him down with uppercuts after Monty put his head down, wishing for his life to be over and for some higher power to save him from the beatdown.
Blake Wheeler still sucks. The December '10 issue of the New England Hockey Journal has "a day in the life of Blake Wheeler". Let me sum it up for you: He takes it easy, eats food, takes it easy, plays with his dogs, takes it easy, takes a nap, comes to the rink, takes a nap during the game, goes offside about 10 times, misses the net about 40 times, makes a few self-passes, takes it easy, wimps out in the corners, takes it easy again, goes home, sleeps. Blake, you're living the fuckin' dream here, getting paid some $2M to basically chill out all day.
Jody Shelley wiped out McQuaid on an icing during the Flyers game. Shelley got 5 minutes and the game for it, but of course the B's powerless play didn't do anything. Carcillo also took a run at Savard. No Bruins took any opportunity to slap the Flyers around at all, though Lootch did shove Powe around during the 3rd period. Carcillo needs pills if he isn't already on them.
Mike Richards, the Flyers' version of Bergeron, skated down the wing and was probably eyeing the clock, "yeah, I'll stick a dagger in their heart here" and beat Thomas with 3.0 seconds left. Thomas had stopped virtually everything else all night. Kinda kills ya when the softies go in, but he makes ridiculous stops all other times of the evening.
McQuaid handled himself nicely vs. the Islanders' noble gas, Zenon Konopka, in a fight Thursday night. 5-2
Are the B's still paying for Dave Lewis' contract?
Speaking of coaches, yup, Craig Berube is an assistant coach for the Flyers. I remember him best when he was with the Caps, he was just a bastid.
Someone in 311 keeps rippin' ass. It ain't me.
Yeah, last night, had a Flyer fan doing play-by-play for everyone: "c'mon Carle, don't mess up here"; "shoot it again, Pronger!"; "Powe, what are you doing?"; plus got some ERRRR, DUH insight on what makes teams win in OT ("the faster team usually wins"). If Row 12 had attended the game, I think there mighta been some static. And I would have welcomed that static. Entirely TOO MANY Flyers fans at the game last night. We had this one Snooki come up the stairs, realize she was in the wrong section, everyone chanted "asshole!" to her, she emphatically threw down her plate of half-eaten pizza, made some classy comment, everyone booed her and started chanting "bitch!". She went up the correct aisle a few moments later, over by 312, strapped the feed-bag on, and continued to watch the game while her boyfriend rubbed bronzer on his face. She was wearing a Gagne shirt, I believe. Oddly, Philly fans now seem to delight in their basic rowdiness and have to make efforts to equal (or top) their reputation as the most evil, disrespectful fans in the league. In the end, it's like watching Always Sunny - just a bunch of really dumb, selfish people shouting at each other...and you watch in horror. Yeah, don't get me wrong, I'd like to throw batteries at JD Drew, too, sometimes, but gee whiz. Actually JD Drew is the Sox analog to Blake Wheeler - all this god-given talent, etc. and then there's just no pulse. You just wake up a few years later and you realize you just had this all-foam, no-beer guy sucking up roster space, cap money, and stealing oxygen. Once in awhile, you see the talent shine through, and you put them in the lineup because of the potential for something good to happen, but in the end, Drew/Wheeler just takes you to the precipice "maybe NOW he'll heat up and be the player we know he can be", and instead, he goes 0 for 2 with 2 walks. "but, but, but, his OBP [plus/minus]!!!"
Spied a Jeremy Reich #53 Bruins jersey last night at the turnstiles.
Horton finally scored last night, shot a wicked wrista past Boucher.
World Juniors in a few weeks. USA is favored, which means Canada will win.

Savvy Returns; Thomas beats 'Ning

2010-12-03T18:12:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was pretty eventful day in Bruinsland.

The B's absolutely smoked the Lightning last night. They won, 8-1, buoyed by the return of Savard and helped the gaffes by Lightning goaltender Mike Smith. The best part was the fact that the Bruins finally got off on a good start, instead of waiting until the 3rd period to wake up and start playing.
Sturm was traded yesterday, then he wasn't. I heard on Dale & Holley at about 12:45pm that Sturm was gone to the Kings for a conditional pick, but by the early evening, he was still in Boston. I dunno. Sturm had that ridiculous goal in Game 6 vs. Montreal where he stole Roman Hamrlik's lunch money twice, faked out Price, and won the game. We'll always have that, I guess. Plus the Winter Classic winning goal.
Savvy made his return last night as well. He did some tricky stuff, but not quite up to speed yet.
Thornton scored another goal last night, 45 to go. Towards the end of the game, he was looking to go with anyone, started talking trash and whacking people to see who would take him on.
Seidenberg looked like he almost felt guilty for scoring that goal where he faked the dump-in and ripped a snap shot into the goal.

Hunwick Traded

2010-11-30T07:38:00.004-05:00

Yesterday afternoon, the B's traded Matt Hunwick to the Colorado Nordilanche for prospect defenseman Colby Cohen. Hunwick got traded after losing a fight, no, sorry, for being the only Bruin who gave a shit vs. the Thrash the other night.
This clears some $1.45M of cap space for Savvy to make his return within the week.
Chiarelli noted that we have some young sluts in the d-man pipeline that made it easier to trade Hunwick. Matt Bartkowski, Steve Kampfert, Jeff Penner, etc.
Colby Cohen was the 2nd round pick of the Nordilanche in 2007. (His wikipedia entry is bigger than Claude Julien's. Clearly, Cohen's mom has been busy beefing up his wikipedia resume, even spelling things Canadian-style (plays "defence") to throw us off her trail) He is 6'-3", 215lbs from Villanova, PA. He played at sucks to BU with fellow d-man Kevin Shattenkirk, who is now tearing it up in Colorado.

Now it is time to unload Wheeler.

Horrible.

2010-11-26T16:47:00.005-05:00

I was recently fined by the Massachusetts Division of Fisheries & Wildlife for illegally baiting my Whaler fan trap.

My Whaler Fan Trap

My Whaler fan traps, located around the perimeter of my residence, were baited with objects that all Whaler fans are known to covet.

The Whaler Fan loves his Crisco

The Whaler fan loves Ron Francis unconditionally

I guess the rules & regulations put forth by the Commonwealth prevents the Whaler poacher (me) from baiting the traps with these items as it "is too easy". Usually the Whaler fan goes for the Crisco, gets caught in the trap, and then I beat them into submission with their own 20oz bottle of Mountain Dew. So I got hit with a little fine for having these items placed in the traps. Oh well.

Holy shit. This game sucked. Whole team had turkey hangover. Nathan Horton is returning to his Panthers disappearing self. Wheeler still sucks. Nobody could do anything right today. The line shuffling will probably come to an end, there was just no chemistry out there.
The Daniel Paella era should be coming to an end soon. An effective penalty killer, sure, but he made some mistakes today, I dunno. Maybe he's just rusty.
Saw some Whaler fans out there today. I guess they found a bottle of SPF65, slathered it on to shield them from the cloudy, gloomy day, made the drive on I-84, and waddled to the arena. They were the ones who were clapping like trained seals when "Brass Bonanza" was played by the organist. I was so consumed by the presence of such 2nd-class citizenry, I could barely pay attention to the crappy team out there on the ice.
The Mayor returned today for a game. Screamed his head off. Just like old times.
Yeah, the game was that bad.

B's win, 3-1

2010-11-25T05:58:00.006-05:00

Another game with some listless play to start, the B's fight off thoughts of turkey day, and slap away the Panthers, 3-1. We'll just ignore the 1st 2 periods, since the B's decided to as well. The third period started off shorthanded where the puck was cleared into the zone and Marchand hustled after the puck and shot it in on a weird bounce off the boards. "the puck bounces for those who hustle", Derek Sanderson used to say a lot during the games a few years ago. So Marchand is rewarded with a shortie and the game is tied at 1. Then old-balls Recchi scores 2 goals (both from Krejci) to hit 1500 points in his career. Next is Paul Coffey with 1531.

Recchi, in his less follicle-ly-challenged days, was a member of the Habs.

Wheeler's improved play just ups his stock for when we eventually package him up and send him fed-ex 3-day to Edmonton for a draft pick or two. Even I noticed last night that he was being less of a turd than usual. But he's still gotta go.
Mike Weaver of the Panthers got swatted aside like a mosquito by Lootch last night. Weaver got up immediately, "who just hit me", pushed Lootch in the back and then realized who he was messin' with and skated away. Lootch just laffed it off. Also, Mark Stuart did his usual toss-someone-to-the-ice move last night. I forget who he sent to the ground, but he just slapped him onto the ice like this morning's catch.
Black Friday vs. the Whale on Friday. I saw a Whaler fan the other day at the FleetCenter, holy shit. Ron Francis jersey and everything. Kid might have had mange, not sure. Friday also represents the Mayor's triumphant, temporary return to Boston after enduring months of confederate flag hockey.

Kill it with fire

Game vs. LA featured some hipsters in Row 10. Apparently, showing ass crack from your drainpipe jeans is the new black. And now not washing your hair for 80 days consecutive, too, as one could have solved the oil problem by tapping the slick in this kid's hair. That complaining aside, the game was pretty entertaining & intense as the B's fought back only to lose it (as documented here a few days ago) in a shootout.
Speaking of shootouts, the following forwards have nothing in shootouts: Ryder (only has a forehand and everyone knows this), Wheeler (choker), Savard (only has a backhand and everyone knows this), Lootch (hands of concrete but they're softening), Horton (only has a forehand), Thornton (couldn't hit the net), Campbell (cos he sucks), Paille (can never finish, probably a bigger choker than Wheeler). The d-men are off the table, and if Cload ever sent anyone from that group other than Chara then he's getting fired. Everyone one else should go, and Cload's go-to shooters should always be: Krejci, Bergeron, Seguin. They are the hands guys - the crafty bitches on the team.

Shootouts Suck

2010-11-21T23:17:00.000-05:00

The NHL better get rid of shootouts in the next CBA or shortly thereafter. They make a mockery of the sport and I've cried many times in this space about the ridiculousness of how they count in the standings. A tie is a friggin tie. Let it be. We witnessed one of the best games the Bruins have played in front of Thomas all season on Saturday night, but they lost in a shootout (unfortunately Thomas wasn't as sharp as he usually is). I would have been thrilled to go home with a tie after trailing 3-0 and showing a ton of heart to claw back into it and get the point. Then the shootout goes and ruins it and leaves a bad taste in everyone's mouth.

The Morale Officer was his usual morale-boosting self and was saying "it's ova" after their second goal and again after their third, but the Bruins put on a good show for us in coming back.

This "loss" capped off an impressive 3-0-1 week for the B's though in which they overcame the loss of Krejci to get some valuable wins. Going into Monday's game against the Devils I was very worried after the two turds they dropped against Montreal and Ottawa.

Thornton watch - 4 down, 46 to go ($45,274 per goal); Kovalchuk - 4 goals ($347,561 per goal)
Lottery watch - Toronto still in 27th place overall
Blake Wheeler had a good game on Saturday! Scored the first one (Quick's fault) and setup Bergy's tying goal. Hopefully he helped his trade value.
4th line continues to impress - what a great shift that led to the 2nd goal on the delayed penalty
My hometown UMD Bulldogs are #1 in the nation with an 11-1-2 mark and scored two wins over the hated Badgers in Madison on the weekend in overtime (notice that they get the full two points in the standings and the Badgers get nothing - novel concept - and they play 5 on 5 the way the game should be played in OT - and a tie is a friggin tie).
The Devils are a disaster.
Tuukka was great on Thursday - nice to see him finally get that elusive first win of the season
Lootch - thoroughly entertaining night at the Gahden on Thursday with Lootch's trick and he sniped one off the post on Saturday that was an inch from being his 11th of the campaign
Another 4-game week coming up with the trip to Florida to take on the Lightning and the Panthers followed by one of my favorite dates every season: the Black Friday game against the 'Canes in which The Mayor will make his trumphant return to Section 311

Wheeler should be euthanized

2010-11-14T08:26:00.002-05:00

After a really impressive, almost improbable win versus Pittsburgh on Wednesday, the B's have lost their way again with 2 lackluster showings at home, losing 3-1 to the Habs and 2-0 to Ottawa.

The Pittsburgh game, I truly thought it was ova, but I hung on out of sheer boredom I guess - and then BAM there's yer 5 goals. Beating Cindy Crosby & the Pens in their new barn, kind of fun. Gresh & Zo on the 98.5 were talking on the radio earlier that day about a rekindling of violence towards Matt Cooke. No such thing, Cooke was let off easy that night. Gresh - he's pretty bad.
The Montreal game, wow, just a total turd there honestly by both teams. Thankfully, not many Habs fans in the arena that night. EXCEPT for the one sitting next to me. It was a dating-within-the-division deal, but 311 couldn't say anything cuz the dude was about 6'-6".
The Senators game, what is going on? "and so is life without Krejci" noted 311, as the B's couldn't get anything going last night. If it wasn't for Thomas, the game would have been 5-0. You knew it was going to go poorly when Chara squared off to fight against Chris Neil and before anything could really happen, Chara lost his balance and fell down. And Blake Wheeler, we're going to take up a collection and have you spayed so you don't breed. It's not like you got any stones anyway. Sheesh. I hope Cam is taking note up there and is shopping him around. "Please, just take him" then show the Blake Wheeler highlight reel - no, not the one with offsides infractions, missed shots on breakaways, the slapfight with Ryan O'Byrne, self-passes off the boards that lead to nothing; rather, the clip of him beating 6 guys in St. Louis to score a shorthanded goal. Just replay that over & over, maybe Edmonton will take him. Yeah, I'd like me some Edmonton draft picks.
Speaking of draft picks, Maple Leafs update: The Laffs have lost 8 straight, they are 5-8-3 and sit at 27th in the league. 4th overall pick, I'll take it.
Dennis Wideman update: 2-8-10 totals in 15 games. I'd still rather have Horton. I'm warming up to "Soupy" as well, our 4th line is playing great these days, I think Thornton's having a lot of fun out there, tied with Kovalchuk in goals scored.
Much reduced minutes these past 2-3 games for Seguin. I didn't even notice him until the 2nd period last night. OH, and the Recchin Ball, old balls Recchi, took on Chris Campoli late in the 3rd period. Not many blows landed for either side, but Recchs got the takedown.

B's win, lose, draw (lose)

2010-11-08T18:50:00.002-05:00

Yeah. The B's got into some really sloppy habits after busting out to an easy, early lead against the Sabres and it's been pretty much downhill since.

The emergence of Brad Marchand the kid's a complete punk but he's skating, shooting, causing a ruckus out there. Hell, even Shawn Thornton's got 2 goals now.
Andrew Ference still hasn't hurt his groin nice fight he had vs. ahhh David Backes of the Blues. Backes kinda hit Recchi weird, looked worse than it really was, Ference tapped him with his stick and it was go time. Backes is kind of a tool anyway, but since it was going to lead to a power play, Backes obliged.
Patrick Kaleta the player Marchand hopes to be, getting flung aside by Stuart like the maggot pest he is. awesome.
We was robbed no explanation really for the washout of the two goals vs. the Blues. The first one I can sort of understand, but the 2nd one was at the other end of the rink - we had no idea how it was turned away.
Milbury hates Ovie Milbury spent a good portion of one of the intermissions picking on Ovechkin because he's a selfish, lazy player.
Not sure, but pretty sure that it was old pal Brad Boyes absolutely faking Rask out of his jock during the shootout.
Speaking of old pals, Sobotka scoring that goal on what I believe was his 3rd or 4th shot of the season.
Blake Wheeler we hate you Wheels is really awful. not only was he offside twice during the Blues game, but he always always always does the self-pass off the boards and tries to skate around the defenseman whenever he rushes into the offensive zone. NEVER WORKS.

Blake, lemme see your war face

I'm glad my shots were up to date I may have attended a sports memorabilia show recently to have #16 sign my Winter Classic ticket. It's a subculture that truly deserves its own documentary. Sports memorabilia spazzes & carnies, I dunno, I just made sure to not make eye-contact with anyone. It smelled like an attic because of all the old stuff. I felt like I was milling in the background of Roadshow or something. It was both interesting and sad - players are just pieces of meat, signing away at stuff. Marco was genial enough, it's not like we talked about ya know BMWs or anything. Remarkably, no Whaler fan sightings. I figured they'd be at this event like moths to a flame, venturing out from their respective basements to seek out that elusive O-Pee-Chee Mike Liut card.
Krejci hurt again it looked to us like an elbow to the head by Oshie, and that the whole team should have pounded his skull in, but later reports from the players say most of the damage was done by Krejci's noggin hitting the dasher on the way down. Still, not good.
Seguin is Jesus how quick was that release on the shootout backhand? Lordy. Caron & Seguin rode the pine for most of the 3rd period there as Cload tried to keep the game close & mistake-free.
Awful that I had to cheer on "Soupy" as he scored the goal on a pass from Ryder.
Who is this guy? Ryder was a man possessed! He was hitting, passing, skating. Wheeler's days are numbered. Cap Casualty, folks.
I choose Freewill Toucher & Rich noted this recently and it does seem to be the case - the organist at the FleetCenter always plays Rush tunes a few minutes into the game. The other night, I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure, it was "Freewill". At least it wasn't "By-Tor and the Snow Dog".

B's clobber Sens, 4-0

2010-10-31T12:26:00.002-04:00

Tim Thomas extended his shutout streak as the B's beat the Sens last night, 4-0.

Yeah, I fell asleep during the 1st intermission, something about getting up at 4:45am Saturday morning catching up with me. But I watched some highlights on The Fly and maybe I'll catch the replay @ 2pm on NESN.
Goal by Seguin - got to see his wheels there, he just blew by the Senators defenders to get to Recchi's pass to tip in the easy lay-up.
Horton I guess missed a breakaway shot after deking out both Elliot and himself (too much time?), then Lootch scored 5-hole a few moments later.
The Krejci goal, I saw that one. Picked a corner, sweet.
Bergy setting up Caron (mini-Bergy) for an easy breakaway goal. Caron's got staying power, this is pretty cool. Earning his salary, that Bergeron, by winning the faceoffs and taking the younger French-Canadian sous son aile.
Chris Neil beat up on Seidenberg, hopefully the bench took note and will settle the score later on this season, hopefully during a home game so I can witness the carnage live.
Carkner punched Wheeler and Wheeler cried.
What can be said that hasn't already been said about Thomas? I've nothing to add, just glad he's playing great, it's a great story to see the old guy returning to form and, as usual, making everyone regret counting him out & second-guessing his abilities.
Sobotka update: 5 games with the Blues with 0-0-0 totals and 1 shot. Looks like he's getting about 8 minutes of ice time per night.

Thank You Kessel

2010-10-29T15:22:00.004-04:00

I love winning. Dontcha love winning? Like, it's better than losing?

The Bruins raked the Leafs into the forest (running out of Leafs/autumn/defeat items here) last night, 2-0. Tim Thomas with the shutout. GAA of 0.60 and a save percentage over .980, who woulda thunk it?

That Seguin kid, he's gonna be something someday. Snapped home a shot, displaying quick wrists, beating Gustafson. Bergy also connected again on the PP with a rising one-timer from the point, beating Gustafson high-glove.
Nathan Horton didn't get on the scoresheet tonight but he scored in other areas just as important. He got into a scuffle with Dion Phaneuf and handled himself okay. Apparently it had been going all night, just verbal stuff, then after a faceoff, the sticks, gloves, helmets all came off and Horton went after him like a hurricane, roundhouse blows. Horton got the takedown, but Phaneuf performed some Phaneuf-ery and punched Horton after Horton threw him down. That got Horton pretty hot, so he kept punching away while Phaneuf was on the ground. Horton got the extra 10 for that, but it was worth it. I never though Horton was the type to throw down, but check out this battle with Arron Asham. Took him to the woodshed there. Nice work there, kid.
Yah, surely you've heard about the chant (sounded like it started in Balcony Sec 314 or so) of "Thank You Kess-el" after the Seguin goal. It was pretty loud and among one of the better chants witnessed at the Fleet Garden in awhile. Great fun. As usual, the Loge was oblivious to there even being a hockey game on the ice. Game program lists Kessel at, no lie, 6-2 202 lbs. My ass. He's 5-10 and about 185 soaking wet, holding an anvil. He said he couldn't care less about the chants, etc. but we know we're in his head - which is why we chant & boo. Behind that tow-headed exterior lies a fragile, awkward, and sensitive lad...and we're going to destroy him emotionally, brick by brick.
Mark Stuart pretty much mugged him in the corner, stole his lunch money, Kessel fell, and the crowd went nuts. Yeah.
Milt Schmidt night at the TD Center, I missed most of it due to heavy traffic getting into the city. Dude is 92, appeared as alert as ever, started playing w/ the B's at age 12 or something, held all positions in the organization. I can barely skate.
Key Word to Last Night: "Toxic". I musta said "holy shit, the d-combo there is toxic" about 400 times last night. Usually Ference was one of those 2 d-men. During the post-game, Beers said Ference has been doing well, but ya know, if I can tell you suck, then you suck. McQuaid was in for the injured Boychuk. I'd rather see Bartkowski or Kampfer.
Ryan Spooner update: 7-8-15 totals in 10 games for the Peterborough Petes, slipping to 31st in scoring.
Trade Wheeler. Do it soon, get some picks for him. Banish him to Phoenix or someplace where we won't see him. Saw a toddler with a Wheeler jersey on my way out, I almost called DSS because that's just child abuse right there. My buddy's 13 year old son almost started liking Wheeler during the B's/Rangers game and I diverted him to Seguin.
Guy who sat to my right smelled like my late grandfather. Some cologne/aftershave from the 40's was employed there, methinks. And the dude talked to his wife the whole game, pretty much sewed a quilt and bought a few purses during the game as well.

Don't look now, but

2010-10-24T19:40:00.002-04:00

Steve Montador is tied for the league lead in plus/minus at a +9.

B's lose, 3-2

2010-10-24T07:51:00.003-04:00

Last night the Bruins failed to capitalize on some man-advantages and lost to the Rangers, 3-2.

Marchand. The guy's a little turd but man he displayed some sweet moves a few times in the game.
3 fights in the game. First fight was Stuart vs. Avery after Stuart stood up Fedotenko at the blue line. Avery jumped him, they battled, Stuart held his own. Avery got the extra 2 instigator. Then later on Boogard took on Thornton. I don't know how this one started, they just started bear-hugging. But Boogard's got about a half-foot on Thornton and Thornton held up okay. Then Lootch took on Prust but the linesmen ended the fight early, and Lootch was pissed. Jumbotron showed Prust was eye-gouging - whatta bitch...Linesmen ending the fights early. C'mon. Boston-New York, it's Saturday night, let them go at it. Lootch was just getting an arm free and was ready to turn Prust's face into a bowl of meat sauce.
Lots of Ranger fans in the building. HORRIBLE.
Horton. Continues to come as advertised. Scored another goal on a between-the-legs-behind-the-back feed from Krejci in the corner. Krejci is just sick.
Rask. Let up 3 weird, un-Rask-like goals. These are the types of goals Thomas lets up - kind of fluke-y, tip-in shots with weird trajectories and angles.
Seguin. Starting to quiet down, playing an apparently responsible game. He was lined up for a massive hit in the corner and dodged it in the last minute...Dale & Holley were projecting on Friday that by xmas he'll be tearing up the NHL, Stamkos-style.
Chara scored on another power-play BOMB of shot. Lundqvist never saw it.
Another strong game for Caron. He just keeps riding with Bergy and acclimating to the speed of the game. Bergy's got great hockey-sense, so this is not a bad deal by any means. Really, what's gonna happen when Savvy & Sturm come back?
Local spaz Brendan "TuukkaTime40" LeComte was featured on the Jumbotron to get the crowd pumped up. He hasn't posted a recap of last night's game yet, probably because he was pahtying wicked hahd last night.
Boychuk got slashed on the hand by someone, didn't return for the rest of the game. This may mean the rebirth of the Adam McQuaid era. Ya know, would rather see Bartkowski...
Greg Campbell got 4 minutes for slashing Prust in the face. Prust went down like he was shot. Will his dad issue a fine or a suspension?
Cole Harbour Hoser, who sat next to me last night, actually played against Avery many moons ago in Nova Scotia. "He is 100% not manufactured. He really, truly is a piece of shit."

Bruins will never lose another game this season

2010-10-22T18:05:00.004-04:00

The Bruins dispatched the Capitals in a home/home series with convincing wins. I don't understand what's going on, why the Caps were a step behind on virtually every play, but Bruce Boudreau's got some work to do.

Wheeler was offside at least 3 times last night and was in alone probably 3 times, with shots going very wide. The dude has Paille syndrome, he just can't finish. Row 10 blamed "the new skates".
Nice work by Caron in the 2nd period right before his goal. He was mucking in the corners for the puck, maintained possession, then scored a goal about 30 seconds later. During this time, the fans were on their feet cheering because the domination was awesome. It almost started to look unfair.
Tim Thomas. Wow, huh? I mean, he's all over the place, he's kind of getting lucky with some of the shots just hitting him center-mass, but at some point it goes from being lucky to being just plain ol' good.
Horton. Comes as advertised.
Ryder. Contract year, trying to get more money. It'd be wise for whoever re-signs him next summer to just go with a one-year deal so he keeps playing for money.
Ryan Spooner update: Spooner had a hat trick the other night for the Peterborough Petes in a 6-4 win over the Kitchener Rangers. He is currently ranked #22 in scoring in the OHL with 7-6-13 totals in 7 games.
Ference & Laich almost squared off last night. Would have been good to see that one. The linesmen got in the way of that, not sure why. Ference could use a good punch in the face.
Near catfight in our section last night. No real blows, just words between each Snooki-wannabe.
Brad Marchand is still a turd but he had some good shifts last night.
Minnesota, reporting from overseas, predicted the removal of Hunwick from the PP, saying he was the weak link in that setup.
One of the highlights last night was when Seidenberg took out Ovechkin on a body check that had both sliding into the corner. Just took him right out, yeeeaaaaah.
Wikipedia lists Claude as 195lbs. YEAH RIGHT maybe his arm.
Steven Tyler, tone-deaf and just making up words to the anthem. Here's some ear bleach:

Tyler/Perry strung out >> Tyler/Perry sober

Bruins win, 4-1

2010-10-16T21:32:00.002-04:00

The Bruins pounded away on the Devils tonight and won, 4-1. Pretty solid game all around, lots of balance between the lines. Started off a little weak as the Devils skated around the B's for awhile, but the B's got their legs going and put the game away in the 2nd period.

Ference/Hunwick d-pair. WOOF. Ference got caught deep a few hundred times. I mean, they were both +2 for the game, but there were some tense moments there.
Awesome pass, awesome shot on the Ryder goal from Seguin.
Thomas was all over the ice, might have gotten lucky a few times, but looked pretty darn good out there. I don't care too much for his new albino mask, though. Brodeur looked kind of bad tonight, NJ defense just kinda shaky all around. Hey, without the trap, is Brodeur just an average goalie now? Are all those records a product of LeMaire's trap, or what?
NESN's Cole Wright - loves Quagmire from Family Guy. okay. Apparently, this is Bergeron's favorite show, too. NESN's also got this thing where Patrice shows off his backyard rink. I just saw it, pretty wacky stuff.
Marchand went hip-to-thigh on Zubrus and got called for tripping. I was hoping it'd lead to a massive fight where Marchand would get the stuffing pounded out of him, but no dice.
Dennis Wideman scored a goal tonight in a Panthers win, was +2 in 25:19 of playing time
First NHL goal for Jordan Caron. Bergeron retrieved the puck right after the goal for his fellow Quebecer ami. Caron's from Sayabec, which appears to be about 120 miles north of Fort Kent, ME.
Gregory Campbell is called "Soupy" by his linemates.
Matt Cooke got blind-side hit by Mike Richards tonight and got upset about it.

Prague Random Thoughts

2010-10-10T12:44:00.000-04:00

So we've had two regular season games on at the time I'm usually watching the English Premier League. Actually worked out well since the EPL had the weekend off for an international break. Some random thoughts based on the weekend's action...

Enough already with starting the season overseas:
This can't be helping the NHL. They can't even sell out the rinks and they have to be spending a lot of money to have 6 teams over there. The only positive I can see in it is it would be a great excuse for a European vacation if I was independently wealthy. Since I'm not, I just think it blows. It takes away a home game for us season ticket holders and it has to be tough on our Bruins. It's also dumb that we don't see the Bruins play again until Saturday.

Would have been nice to visit and take in a couple games

Comcast sucks:
I'm stuck with Comcast where I now live. I had DirecTV for years. Comcast's NHL Center Ice has maybe one game per night in HD and they charge more than DirecTV does for everything.

Nathan Horton is on the 2nd PP Unit:
This boggles my mind and will likely change. I also don't like seeing Matt Hunwick on PP1. The PP definitely needs some work. The Bruins are actually fortunate Phoenix didn't score 3 or 4 shorties in the two games.

The Bruins D has me tempering expectations for this season:
From 1 thru 6, the Bruins D just does not stack up with many of the so-called contenders. Multiple guys will have to step up their games this year for everything to come together. Don't be surprised if there is a trade after Ference's groin gives way.

It's nice to have a healthy Chara and Lucic:
Remember last year when Chara was taking little wristers from the point because of his hand injury? Remember how Lucic never looked like himself after the high ankle sprain? They both look like more like the 2009 version now. Chara was also flattening people and getting involved in the offense. When Marchand found him with a brilliant pass in the 1st period on Sunday, I had to laugh at how he had no idea what to do against Bryzgalov though - that's alright, that's not his game.

It's going to take time for Tyler:
Steven Stamkos looks poised to join Crosby and Ovechkin as an elite superstar in the NHL. Remember what he did in the first half of his first year? Next to nothing. Stamkos turned it up in the 2nd half of his rookie season and that's what we need to hope for from Tyler. Let's be honest with ourselves, he was nearly invisible this weekend until Michael "Vick" Ryder found him on the post pattern for the breakaway.

Nice debut for the new guys

Horton will lead the team in goals:
Going out on a limb here. His hands are so good. Man it's nice to have a sniper again isn't it? As the Mayor pointed out, he's on pace for 120. After watching him this weekend, 40 to 50 certainly isn't out of the question. We'll see if his propensity to take nights off shows up this year or not. At least he doesn't have a propensity to take seasons off like Mr. Ryder. Horton has figured in 4 of the 5 goals on the season with his assist on Lucic's goal. You can't beat that start.

Attaboy Timmy:
Looked good. Had one of his floppy moments in the 2nd period, but made all the saves and his team certainly played better in front of him. It will be interesting to see how the playing time shakes out this season. This blogger projects neither goalie will exceed 50 starts barring injury to the other.

Blake Wheeler is still awful:
I hope this changes because we need the guy to be better, but he is horrible and he's bringing Bergy down with him by being on his line. He was even bringing Jordan Caron down on Sunday.

Jack made a great point late in Sunday's broadcast:
...when talking about bringing Caron in for Paille today - making players accountable for a poor performance. Remember last year when Claude kept sending the same bums out night after night even though the effort wasn't there?

Way to go Peter:
Chara and Bergy's combined cap hit this year: $12.25M
Chara and Bergy's combined cap hit the next three years: $11.5M
You have to like locking up these core players and reducing their combined cap hit. I was actually hoping they could reduce Chara's numbers on the back end of his contract to reduce it further. According to capgeek, the final two years are $5M and $4M respectively. Seeing as how he'll be 40 then, I would have thought they could have reduced that some - not Lou Lamoriello/Ilya Kovalchuk style, but some to bring the cap number down further.

I'll take the 2 points after Saturday's debacle. Good start to the season. Horton looks awesome, Seguin gets his first, and Chara and Bergy are locked up.

Bruins Preseason

2010-10-03T14:27:00.002-04:00

Gee, I'd love to tell ya what I think of this year's team so far, but I've only seen the 2 games at home. Nothing is on television. Apparently NESN thinks we all want to witness the dying days of the Sox.
But here goes anyhow:

Gregory Campbell - who the hell do you think you are, wearing #11 and then sucking? Axelsson's skates are pretty big to fill on the ice and in the locker room. Yeah, we saw that substandard preseason fight vs. the Caps. You're not very good. One could argue that maybe he'll turn out like Mike Lowell in the Beckett trade. But probably not. He'll be a nightly scratch within 10 games. Already, I am not a card-carrying member of the Greg Campbell fan club.
Zach Hamill - still not progressing at the speed that Chiarelli, et al. would like, he's still too slight (also, Max Sauve, who looked HORRIBLE in the pre-season, he's too light)
Jordan Caron - looks like the real deal for next season, when all the old guys are gone after winning the Stanley Cup.
Nathan Horton - has displayed a willingness to shoot and scored a nice goal on Carey Price in MTL (saw the replay - Price knew the wrista was coming and Horton still beat him easily), but has also displayed his usual lack of grit ("too many blow-bys along the boards", noted Minnesota.). But the line of Lootch, Krejci, and Horton is looking pretty sick.
Tyler Seguin - seems to have picked up the speed of the game quick enough, but we thought he lollygagged a bit, Savard-style, on the line changes. Apparently, he scored some sort of hat trick or something in Ireland, but couldn't see the game. So no highlight reel stuff yet.
David Krejci - seems to have returned to form - he showed some sick sick moves during the Caps game. I have him on my fantasy team, so he'll probably get hurt.
Patrice Bergeron - probably looked the best out of anyone in training camp. He's going to have a monster year. He'll eclipse Mike Richards as the top 2-way center in the Eastern Conference.
Zdeno Chara - has looked shaky to me so far, looks a little behind on the plays. But he delivered that sweet pass to Seguin for Seguin's first preseason goal.
Whatshisname Bartkowski - please stick around and replace Adam McQuaid.
Brad Marchand - this experiment has to end. I know he scores a few goals here and there, but the cheapness/sandpaper to his game I can't abide. Not looking for Matt Cooke-types here, time to drop 'em and show us you're willing to do more than be a pest. We have better wingers in the system.
Andrew Ference - holy shit. What a black hole of suck this guy could be. I dunno, man. I mean, at least he'll get hurt and we'll only have to see him for 30 games. Will spend this season replacing Wideman as the d-man that makes us cringe whenever he handles the puck.
Lootch - returning to form. Awesome. Beat down some hump during the Caps game and it was like Christmas. Showing some soft hands again. Fumbled a hot pass from Horton ("that had some hasenpfeffer on it", noted Minnesota) in the slot during the Caps (or Panthers) game that shoulda been a layup one-timer. Gotta nail those looks, Lootch.
Ryan Spooner - Imagine when he scores goals, the crowd going "SPOOOOOOON". Why are we dicking around with Marchand when clearly this kid's got the goods? The B's sent him back to Peterborough. He's gonna make the team next year and will probably even be around for the playoffs this April.

That's all I got for now, my half-assed analysis...season starts soon enough. I'm cautiously optimistic but I also have a weird vibe that we're going to go 0-10-0 to start the season.

Sad

2010-09-21T16:36:00.006-04:00

Here we see the Whaler fan (Whalerus fanus) outside its natural habitat (mom's basement) and attempting to integrate into society. When hunting W. fanus - approach them with caution, make sure your immunizations are up to date (e.g., tetanus), and make sure your bear spray is ready. The blubber of the Whaler fan is prized much like its namesake. Generally, it's belly fat and occasional muscle is cured like bacon and left in a smokehouse for months. After which, the product is sliced and served for breakfast.

The AHL affiliate of the New York Rangers, the Hartford Wolfpack, is now known as the Connecticut Whale, thanks to the efforts of some guy.

Bruins "Fan Experience" Poll

2010-09-16T20:23:00.002-04:00

So you've heard us piss and moan on this website about damn near everything - well today my inbox provided me with a gift - a survey from Bruins Fan Relations, asking me about my fan experiences. Okay, it's just a survey, but still, I have to take this opportunity to make myself heard.

The following got "neutral": "Wooo"; Other Anthem Singers; Kelly Malone (I actually feel bad for Kelly Malone. It's this and Subaru commercials for Kelly these days, dunno if she's still on radio. Really, who wants to pimp something as impractical as the SportsDeck?); In-game Music Volume. I know it's wicked loud in the Loge, though.
The following got "Somewhat Dissatisfied": In-game Music selections. I wrote a comment about retiring "Crazy Train" and anything by KISS. I also asked for more Mastodon.
The following got "Somewhat Satisfied": Jim Martin (PA guy); Organist; Goal horn
"Extremely Satisfied": Rene Rancourt, of course.

"Neutral": Turnstile Giveaways (magnets. whee.); Game Night Rosters (Chara's favorite meal: Trek bicycles); Concourse
"Somewhat Satisfied": Ice Girls; Blades. I requested that they launder the Blades suit more often. Ever get close to Blades, just walking by or whatever? He generally smells like a basement.

"Neutral": 3 minutes of fame; Intermission contests; t-shirt toss; fan of the game
"Somewhat Dissatisfied": Kiss Cam; Helmet Shuffle (look folks, it's always #3); In-game statistical info. They never give you enough stats - especially when it's scoreboard-watching time towards the end of the season or if you're a fantasy hockey tool like me "Oh, the Kings are up on Calgary, 6-0...I hope that's Drew Doughty with 6 goals"
"Somewhat Satisfied": Tune Trivia - mainly so I can flex my music knowledge muscle and impress the ladies; Bruins video intro (needs more Orr)
"Extremely Satisfied": Black 'n Blue Hockey. Who doesn't like Black 'n Blue Hockey?

Overall experience? Somewhat satisfied. Most of this stuff is "whatever" to me. Just want to see a fast-paced, well-played hockey game with plenty of emotion, speed, hitting, goals, saves, beatdowns, intimidation, blood, goals, blood, goals ...

Miscellany

2010-09-10T15:44:00.005-04:00

They've arrived. Lindsay sent my season tickets via Fed Ex Camel (new service they're providing) and they arrived this afternoon. Hope springs eternal, blah blah, football has started and hockey starts in a month to take us out of the doldrums of means-nothing Red Sox baseball. Yesterday, I watched a buncha hockey fights on hockeyfights.com to get my blood boiling again. The usual: Stan Jonathan, Taz, Stock, Lootch, Thornton, etc.
Have ya seen the video of Cindy Crosby clubbing a batting practice fastball over the right field fence in Pittsburgh? Even with a Hriniak swing, he still manages to hit one out. Bitch.
Looks like Quebec City is a little bit closer to getting a new arena, I guess Le Colisee is too old (though I doubt it's called Le Colisee anymore, I think it's now probably named after Pepsi. The only folks who like Pepsi more than southern white trash are French Canadians.) so they gotta build a new one...and presumably a hockey team will follow? I spoze this is good, anything to bring hockey north of the 36th parallel, but if hockey returns to Quebec City, at the same time I'd like to see the Jets leave Phoenix and return to Winnipeg. Down with this Confederate Flag Hockey business.
Sad-sack Whaler-fan update: there's actually a "Whaler Nation" blog where pasty-faced, overweight, Crisco-eating, sobbing Whaler fans congregate and compare stories about Mike Liut and Geoff Sanderson. They had a reunion a few weeks ago. Read about it here. I would have read it but I had something else more interesting to do like take a nap or clean the cat box.
Whenever I hear "Tyler Seguin", I think of Carl Sagan.

"Tyler Seguin will score billions...and billions of goals. And within those billions of goals, billions of assists. BILLIONS." Yep, your local pink hat will be calling him "Suh-GWEEN". You've been warned.

Ladies, he's now taken. The Mayor of 311 got hitched last weekend. Not sure, but rumor has it the bride wore gold, the groom wore black, and "Nutty" was played as the wedding march. When she said, "I do", a red light came on, etc. Byron Bitz was the best man.

Time To Retire the Ric Flair "Wooooo"

2010-08-02T17:18:00.000-04:00

Another Bruins blogger out there (Days of Y'Orr) suggested replacing Ric Flair's "Woooooo" with Fred Cusick. I think this is a great idea. Aren't you guys getting a little tired of it at this point? I know I'm getting tired of explaining to people that it is a recording of Ric Flair and not the PA man.

While they're at it, here are some more requests regarding in-Garden entertainment:

1. Put the axe to Kelly Malone's little vignettes (go back to voiceover work only - no cutting to Kelly on Garden HDX). I picture her in contract negotiations with the people at Bruins Entertainment asking for more facetime to get her "image" out there.
2. Show more replays and fewer idiots who come to the game strictly to get on Garden HDX (how many times did I text the Mayor this season asking what just happened on a play because all the Garden was showing was the latest douchebag who dressed up like Greenman?).
3. Show more replays and less train-conductor-hat-wearing, mustachioed, dancing pedophile (disclaimer - I do not have proof that he is a pedophile). Once per game is more than enough. It's tradition at this point that you see him once a game, but leave it at that.
4. Show more replays and less pounding-on-my-chest-special-ed-helmet guy.
5. SHOW MORE REPLAYS.

Anyways - it would be great to have an original idea for a goal celebration at the Garden or something that at least says Boston Bruins. My favorite is Buffalo's. They replay Rick Jeanneret's call of the goal immediately after the horn. This is classy. This is not some wrestler erupting with a mating call. Maybe we could get Randy "Macho Man" Savage's "Ohhhhh Yeeaaahhhh" next.

Anyways, go read their post. They make a good point.

Time For a New CBA

2010-07-19T17:20:00.003-04:00

The early reports on the Kovalchuk deal are that it is for 17 years for a total of $102M which is an annual cap hit of just $6M per year. This is a relative bargain in the salary cap system for a player of his caliber. According to something NESN's Jimmy Murphy re-tweeted, the Contract is structured as such:

First 8 years: $10M per
Next 2 years: $7.5M per
Final 7 years: $7M TOTAL

The $10M man for only $6M on your salary cap!

This is the Devils taking full advantage of the current CBA to gain a competitive advantage on the rest of the league in the near-term. The next CBA needs to institute a "Kovy" rule to address this. If you wiped the final 7 years off the contract his cap hit would be $9.5M per year. With those 7 years on there, he only costs $6M towards the cap. Here's hoping he doesn't live up to his salary of $10M while only costing them $6M per season. You can't blame Lou for doing it, because our own Chiarelli did the exact same thing on a smaller scale with Savvy. Savvy averages $6.375M in actual salary over the first 4 years of his 7-yr extension, but his cap hit is only $4,007,143 per season since the final three years TOTAL only $2.55M.
The inherent problem with a deal like Kovalchuk's is that its made with the distinct intention of buying him out after the 10 years is up. If Lou Lamoriello has his way, Kovalchuk will be a force for the Devils for the next ten years at the bargain basement price of $6M per season against the cap. After the tenth year, Lou will just buy the contract out and bid him farewell at little to no expense since the buyout only has to do with the remaining term and amount (7 yrs for a total of $7M). Same thing with Savvy. Think he will be playing the 2015-16 season for the current league minimum of $525,000 like his contract currently states (and costing his team over $4M against the cap)? The answer is no. He will either have been bought out or retired so the system is flawed and allows this practice.

Lou Lamoriello: For my money, the prettiest man in hockey.

How does the NHL fix it? They need to cut down on front-end loading of contracts. In the Kovalchuk example, let's assume he gets paid exactly $1M per year for those final 7 years. That's 7 years of a 17-yr contract that his salary is only 10% of the most he makes in any single year. So, you could limit this percentage to say 50%: in no year of a multi-year deal could any single-year salary be less than 50% of the largest single-year salary in the deal. Using Kovy as an example again, that means the lowest you could go for those final 7 years would be $5M. For the sake of argument, if the final 7 years were at $5M per, the annual cap hit would be $130M/17 which is roughly $7.65M. No GM would do this deal because it would be incredibly expensive to buyout throughout the life of the contract and the $7.65M cap hit is not enough of a bargain to justify the long-term risk. Therefore, the most you would see a guy like Kovalchuk sign for is 5 years which is much more realistic and better for the game as a whole. Gary Bettman and the boys better get busy and figure out how to transition into the next CBA because the current CBA is beginning to create some problems.

By the way, your Stanley Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks used a front-end loaded contract to Marian Hossa (actual salary of $7.9M with a cap hit of just north of $5.2M) to help win the cup this year. They don't usually work out though - just take a look at the New York Rangers for an example with Drury, Redden and formerly Gomez. How's Rick DiPietro doing for the Islanders? Vinny Lecavalier looked like a man just going through the motions for much of his first season of an 11-yr contract extension last year. Vinny's deal is similar to Kovalchuk's in that he is making $10M per season for the next 6 years and then it drops off, but not as harshly as Kovy's. Vinny's cap hit is a little over $7.7M which is much more reasonable.

This blogger just hopes that some of these issues with the CBA don't lead us into another lockout. The game has come a long ways since the clutch-and-grab days of the late '90's and early '00's and we certainly don't need another season off. However, another lockout would definitely help keep the pink hats away which wouldn't be the worst thing in the world...let's hope we never see a day where the NHL becomes as over-commercialized and over-hyped as the NFL, NBA, and MLB.

Yup

2010-07-12T19:16:00.001-04:00

Gary Bettman made over $7 million last year

Komrade Ference

2010-07-09T18:16:00.012-04:00

A spectre is haunting the Bruins locker room; the spectre of Communism.

I've long suspected this - I've taken note of Ference's interests, accomplishments, and personal history to reach this conclusion: Andrew Ference is a commie.

Back in the 2001-2002 season, Andrew Ference was a teammate of a few Russians on the Pittsburgh Penguins, notably perennial dirtbag Alexei Kovalev. It was at this stop in Ference's career where his leftist leanings came to bloom into full-fledged communism.

Ference's parents are elitist yuppie commies from Alberta. His dad is a dentist and his mom is a doctor. Going with trends in today's media, what, with intelligence/higher education equating to pinko liberalism, one can easily connect his commie influence with his upbringing.
Ference is a tree-huggin' liberal moonbat whackjob. He has worked with environmentalist David Suzuki to get carbon offsets for the NHL's attempt for carbon-neutrality. Suzuki is not only an environmentalist, but was a director of the Canadian Civil Liberties Union back in the '80's.....ACLU, CCLU = COMMIES
Ference traveled to Africa for "Right to Play" to teach Tanzanians about hockey... and spread his communist agenda. Being all inclusive and friendly to those folks, surely a recruiting tactic to appeal to the poor, then regale with tales of socialism/communism.
In a recent interview with Vf311 that probably didn't happen, when asked if he was a commie, Ference replied, "Nyet, oh no, I mean, no". bullshit!!!
Ference was the team rep to the player's union. Communism and organized labor go hand-in-hand. Class struggle - the working man vs. the capitalist...Hockey players of all countries, unite!

Ference's Favorite Hat: The Russian Ushanka

Commies usually wear brown; Here's Ference proudly displaying his Commie plumage.

Actually, that photo is not only evidence of Ference flying his freak flag, but he's waving his Charlie card right in your face. He has done promotions for public transit and the MBTA. You know who else loved public transit? Michael Dukakis.

Here's Ference in his green jacket (another commie favorite) and bicycle - the guy is dying to live in China with his commie brethren

Look at that big ol' commie star tattoo on his back

Here is the (red) bearded Ference. Reminds me of another famous commie...

V.I. Lenin himself

Probert

2010-07-06T20:01:00.002-04:00

Section 311-er known as "P-break" sent the section drunken texts last night, as he had learned about the news of Probert, his favorite player. "I'm goin' outside right now to look for some punks and beat them up."
Check that shit at 1:32 of the video. Was that a head-butt, or just a guy who flinched and collapsed like those fainting goats? Also, the end of the video features a line brawl vs. the Bruins. I vaguely recall that game, I remember Lazaro getting choked or something by somebody.

Oh man, I just found it on the youtube:

Check the B's fan taking a swing at Stevie Y. Yup, that's local shithead John Dennis doing the sportscast for then-WNEV Channel 7.

That was Stephane Quintal who took on Probert, basically hanging on for dear life. Quintal coulda been a man, but decided to join the dark side and played for the Habs for most of the balance of his career. Horrible.
Steve Leach. Back in the day, the Bruins players actually wrote a cookbook. My sister bought it because she was obsessed with Wes Walz. One of the recipes was contributed by Steve Leach - it was "Steak with Salt".

Steak with Salt
by Stephen Leach

1 piece of steak
salt to taste
vegetable oil

Pour oil into hot skillet. Salt the steak. Cook until medium well.

I'm not kidding. Most other players contributed stuff made by their wives/moms. But Leach, man, he dug deep for that one.

Leach. Meetch. Seetch. Beetch. REICH.

Jeremy Reich is back, kids. Back in 2006-2007 when the B's were bad, real bad - it was Reich (pronounced "REETCH" to you pink hats) who showed up every night and played like someone swapped his gold bond medicated powder with cayenne pepper. Section 311 took notice, and is pleased to see that he is back in the fold, "to show the kids in Providence how to prepare for each game" i.e. play every game like it could be your last. If half the parent club played with the fury & abandon of Reich, we'd have Stanley Cups every year. As the Mayor used to say, "Numba 53 in yoah programs, Numba 1 in yoah hahts. Hey, anyone got any Grizz?".

Bob Probert Passes Away

2010-07-05T19:00:00.000-04:00

Bob Probert dies of an apparent heart attack at age 45.

Happy Canada Day

2010-07-01T15:54:00.000-04:00

Who's this Lebron guy and who gives two shits where he ends up? This is day 1 of NHL free agency - all that matters. Some thoughts from the early action on one of my favorite days of the NHL year:

Be thankful that Glen Sather is not our GM: 4 years @ $1.625M per for an enforcer (Derek Boogard) who gives you next to nothing else.

Philly re-upped Braydon Coburn at a $3.2M cap hit and traded for Maszaros ($4M cap hit). It would seem they don't have the room for all that money on the blueline so there may be another move coming OR they were so disgusted with their third pair in the playoffs (which they should have been) that they are spending money on the blueline and willing to go back at it with the tandem of Leighton and Boucher.

Pittsburgh signed Zbynek Michalek ($4M per) and Paul Martin ($5M per) to 5 year deals. I really like these moves for them. The reason they failed this year was because of the losses of Skillz Gill and Rob Scuderi from their cup team. Well, this certainly helps and I don't think the loss of Gonchar will have a tremendous effect (Martin and Goligoski can pick up the offensive slack).

Pittsburgh and Philadelphia got better today. The Bruins did not. I really wanted to see a top defenseman make it to the Bruins and my pipedream was Paul Martin, but I guess those hopes will have to go elsewhere. Of course it's still early and there is apparently still some trade buzz out there for Savard so we'll see.

As feared, it appears that everyone is following the Detroit model for success by not paying too much for goaltending. The top three destinations for Timmy Thomas were Philly, San Jose, and Tampa. San Jose got Niitymaki for only $2M. Tampa added Dan Ellis for only $1.5M to fight with Mike Smith ($2.2M) for the starting job. Philly re-upped Leighton for a $1.55M cap hit. This is what happens when you have a Leighton/Niemi battle in goal in the Cup Final. Timmy Thomas stays a Bruin. Now that I said that, he will likely be traded tomorrow.

Seguin Throws Like a Chick

2010-06-29T19:26:00.002-04:00

Nathan Horton & Tyler Seguin threw out the first pitch tonight before the Sox game vs. the D-Rays. Horton wore a jersey with #18 on his back, after his favorite Red Sox player of yore, Glenn Hoffman. Seguin followed suit, wearing #19 in honor of his favorite Red Sox player, Jeff Sellers. The guys doing the catching? No, not Tek or someone interesting like that, but Dustin Richardson and Manny Delcarmen. Way to bust out your A-list on that one, Sox organization. Couldn't even get a real catcher, ya know, I mean really, give me Rick Cerone or John Marzano.

Yup, not much hockey news. Modano's not re-signing with the Stars. Sergei Crapstitsyn was traded by the Habs for Dan Ellis & Dustin Boyd.