Bostowned

Today the Patriots beat the Eagles, 7-3 at the Well Fargo Arena.

• Well there ya go. The Krejci line wakes up. Krejci gets 2 goals, 2 assists and looked unstoppable at times, working his bullet-time magic especially on the Campbell goal.
• Lootch looked 200% better today, was actually skating, hitting, shooting. He actually looks interested in playing now.
  
• Pronger's a jerkwad, huh? As if you didn't know - Paille smokes him on an icing, and he slashes Paille. Paille goes to the box for being awesome and Pronger goes to the box for being a gap-toothed jerk.
• Power play is, what, 0-for-25 now? or something? Does it even matter anymore?
  
• Still, today was just not the Flyers' day. I don't even think I heard Hartnell's name until the 3rd period.
• Did Pierre Maguire say that van Riemsdyk is like Cam Neely? And didja see the look Milbury gave Maguire, like, "I know Cam Neely, I coached Cam Neely; van Riemsdyk is no Cam Neely". No one ever accused Maguire of being all that smart.
• During game 7 vs. the Habs, I saw a B's fan with a black t-shirt with the Canadiens "CH" logo turned on its side and the "H" was altered to make it look like it was crying. Who is making those? I gotta get me one of those.
  

B's Finish the Deal; Flyers Next

yay camera phone. I guess.

So in case you haven't heard, or can't tell by the "awesome" photo above, the Bruins turned out the light on the Habs Wednesday night.

• Some sort of moratorium on ripping on the B's power play immediately following the game, as for once, the Boston sports media opted to not dwell on the negative and actually enjoy a victory.
• But are you kidding me? 0-for-21 power play? Brian Burke is pleasuring himself to viewings of its ineffectiveness. Every time Kaberle goofed up a play at the blue line or got the yips in the corners, Burke just poured himself another whiskey and grinned.
• Jeff Halpern, who got thumped into the end of the glass, then decided to skate into Ference's shoulder, I think ended up inadvertently tipping in Nathan Horton's shot. Jeff Halpern, you suck.
• Subban's a total diver and a putz, but he's good and he's going to be around for awhile. Deal with it. At least you have someone to focus your hate on, the torch has been passed from Hab assholes of the past (Guy Carbonneau, Stephane Richer, Lyle Odelein, shit this list truly could be infinite. Did I already mention Guy Carbonneau?).
  

In no particular order, comments on the individual performances:

• Playoff MVP: Gotta give this one to Bergeron. The guy had a monster series, winning 110% of the faceoffs and best of all, always moving his feet, unsatisfied and fighting for that extra inch ("we claw! with our FINGA-NAILS for that inch!"). Bergeron "gets it", folks. I don't know if it's the early influence of Martin Lapointe (heh) or the current influence of greybearded, brass-balled Recchi (playing through kidney stones; getting his blood swapped for new blood, Keith Richards-style, during the Carolina series), but anyone who doesn't think Bergeron is the face and cornerstone of this franchise should make their way to the cracker factory. I'm ready to hoist #37 to the rafters. When Recchi retires, he's going to will that wheelbarrow he uses to cart around said brass balls to Bergeron, "here you go, you've earned this". Okay, enough with the balls.
  
• Playoff LVP: Kaberle. A caller to the sportshub recently called out Felger, et al. by correctly pointing out that we should not have expected much, defensively-speaking, from Kaberle. He's a bring-the-puck-up defenseman who can pass well and aid the power play. And in speaking with a Maple Leaf fan yesterday, he agreed, basically saying that Kaberle is as soft as puppy shit in his own zone, but silky smooth offensively. I guess we're just going to have to give it a little more time for Kaberle...during a part of the season where time is of the essence. I dunno.
• Playoff SoLVP: "sort of least valuable player". Ryder. Dude, love the goals, love the quick release, and that glove save was the shit of legend, but completely sick of your "enigmatic" (KPD) ways. The dude's playing for a contract and still can't get his dick hard for 17 minutes a night on the ice. Start Seguin, start Caron, start your mom. Bench Ryder.
• Playoff MVP the more I think about it: Andrew Ference. Admit it - his goal and middle finger to the Habs fans was the turning point of the series. Right now, the action could be characterized as classless, or whatever, but the B's were down, 3-1 at that point and nothing was going our way. Ference skates into a rolling puck, puts the force of the Warsaw Pact behind a blistering бомба over Carey's glove, then flips off the Bell Centre crowd. It would have been unforgettably badass if Ference owned up to it, but I suspect he was trying to keep the action from being bulletin board material. Plus the guy just competes in the corners despite his midget, commie-like ways. Also, 2 assists in the series clincher.
• Very close to being Playoff MVP: Chris Kelly. Who knew? The guy's no dummy and finally delivers as advertised: PJ Axelsson with better finish.
• I'm impressed with his speed: Rich Peverley. Can't help but feel a little bit British whenever I say "Peverley", but yeah, anyway, he's worth putting down the game-time donut when he rushes up the ice.
• What a beast: Had a rough start to the series, but Dennis Seidenberg is just awesome and I don't think we've yet seen just how good he is.
• WTF?: Lootch...coasting thru the zone, looking passive, waiting for a pass instead of making shit happen.

Things to look forward to in the 2nd round versus the Flyers:

• Hating Chris Pronger: and Hartnell, and Giroux, and "Hot Carle"...
• Daniel Briere is a whiny bitch: It didn't end with the Habs - the Flyers got their own weenie who wears a visor, cries to the refs, slashes people when the refs aren't looking, is small and quick, and is a pure Bruins killer. Remember the two-hander to Franz Nielsen's head?
  
• We will probably make their goaltending look awesome: Sadly, we're going to make whoever stands between the pipes for the Flyers look like Thomas' competition for the Vezina. Unless we start Seguin. After Seguin starts averaging 2 points/game, cures for AIDS, cancer, and all that stuff will be found, plus world peace, end of poverty and hunger, struggle, strife, etc.
  
• Flyers fans are subhuman: Watch out for the batteries, folks. Always Sunny in Philadelphia isn't kidding. Everyone in that town really is that dumb.
• The Flyers are shit, but at least they'll step up: aside from the aforementioned Briere, who usually has Carcillo or others doing his dirty work for him, everyone on the Flyers will show up and back up anything they try to do.

Get to Know/Hate a Flyer

There really is so much to hate about the Flyers. Today we will profile Scott Hartnell:

(pilfered from hfboards.com)

Full Name: Sideshow Bob
DOB: April 18, 1982 (Regina, SK)
Jersey Number: #19
Hockey Player idolized while growing up: Claude Lemieux
Favorite Hobbies: Pimping my wife out to my linemates
Favorite Meals: anything made by Purina; Kris Letang
Famous People for whom I am commonly mistaken: Carrot Top, Mick Hucknall, Lucille Ball
Most prized possession: my 'fro pick.
Favorite Car: Hummer H3, cos I'm an asshole
Thing you didn't know about me: Nashville Predators all-time PIM leader

Get Ready For The Pen..Flyers?!?

Jack Edwards: That's now Snowball 2! and Hell 0 after the Habs defeated the Caps tonight.

All these pundits who say Mike Green should win the Norris need look no further than Game 7 earlier tonight in Washington.  He takes an awful penalty in the attacking zone to lead to Montreal's first goal on the powerplay and then misplays a Hal "Skills" Gill dump that leads to Montreal's second goal.  Mike Green does not deserve the Norris.  Sacrilege: even Hal Gill is more deserving.  There, I said it.

Speaking of the pundits, the popular theory from the talking heads was that the bottom of the East was worthless and would be bounced in the first round.  And out in the West, it was wide open.  What happened?  #4, #6, #7, and #8 advance in the East and the only "upset" according to seeding in the West went to the favored Red Wings as a #5.  This is why the NHL playoffs are the pinnacle of sport.

Can you believe the Bruins will have home ice advantage for the 2nd round?  Here's the Schedule:

Game 1: Saturday, May 1 @ 12:30 PM EST (Garden)
Game 2: Monday, May 3 @ 7 PM EST (Garden)
Game 3: Wednesday, May 5 @ 7 PM EST (Philly)
Game 4: Friday, May 7 @ 7 PM EST (Philly)
Game 5: Monday, May 10 @ 7 PM EST (Garden - if necessary)
Game 6: Wednesday, May 12 @ TBD (Philly - if necessary)
Game 7: Friday, May 14 @ 7 PM EST (Garden - if necessary)

Here's a look at how the Bruins match up with the Philadelphia Flyers.  The Bruins are the favorites: home ice, better goaltending, deeper up front due to injury, Bruins will not be complacent again like last year.
 
Brian Boucher played great in Round 1, but the edge still goes to Tuukka.  There is little else to say about this.

The Flyers are banged up.  Jeff Carter will almost certainly not play in the series.  Simon Gagne will be available late in the series at best.  Ian LaPerriere is out for the rest of the season with a brain contusion.  These injuries up front drastically reduce the Flyers scoring depth and it means that Ference and McQuaid will rarely be exposed to top-shelf offensive talent.  Chara will likely see a lot of Mike Richards and there should be some great battles between the two captains throughout the series.  The wildcard for the Flyers could be that hairy mess of a human being Scott Hartnell.  The guy had a disappointing season, but he can put the puck in the net and the Flyers will need him to step up with Gagne and Carter out.  But as far as scoring threats go, it gets pretty weak once you get past Richards, Giroux, Briere and then Pronger and Timonen on the back end.  It reminds you of Buffalo's lack of scoring depth, but the Flyers don't have the all-world Ryan Miller on the other end.

The Flyers had the #3 PP unit in the league during the regular season and carried it with them in the playoffs (27.6% against Devils).  The Bruins will need to stay hot on the PK.

Will the Bruins be guilty of complacency this year?  No way.  Last year taught them that they can't take anything for granted and they won't get caught off guard by a team who "wants it" more.

On the Bruins end of things, all hands are now on deck up front.  Based on practice today (which doesn't necessarily mean anything), Blake Wheeler is thankfully going to be removed from the top 9 forwards.  Vladdy skated on Savard's wing today.  This means the Bruins should be trotting out three lines that are a threat just like Chiarelli drew it up at the beginning of the regular season.  They certainly didn't show us anything during the regular season, but that's ancient history now.

The Morale Officer might just get his line brawl in this series.  Dan Carcillo and Hartnell are going to take runs at Tuukka and the Bruins are going to respond in kind.  These are two big teams and it's going to be a physical battle.  The Flyers are in for a different brand of hockey than they faced against the light-hitting Devils.  The Bruins landed 221 hits in 6 games (36.8 hpg) in round 1.  The Devils were credited with just 112 in 5 games (22.4 hpg).  Even though the hits stat is enigmatic at best, this is a vast difference and the Flyers will feel it.

It was nice being an underdog.  Hopefully the fans don't get cocky and expect to win and start sitting on their hands.  The Garden needs to be at the same level it was at in Round 1.

Lottery Percentages and Playoff Scenarios

Lottery Watch (is over):

It's official, the Bruins will have a top 3 choice after Toronto's loss to the Rangers last night. Here are the Bruins' odds of acquiring each pick in Tuesday's (April 13) Draft Lottery:

1st - 18.8%
2nd - 42.0%
3rd - 39.2%
4th or worse - Blutarski's GPA

Unfortunately, that % chance for #3 is pretty high and the Bruins seem to be cursed this year, but you can't complain about picking in the top 3.

Playoff Watch:

6. Montreal - 87 (39 wins, 2 games remaining)
7. Philly - 86 (40 wins, 2 games remaining)
8. Boston - 85 (36 wins, 3 games remaining)
9. Rangers - 84 (37 wins, 2 games remaining)

Here are all of the possible points scenarios in the final two games for the Rangers and Flyers (ignoring what happens with the Habs for the sake of argument):

Rangers 4, Flyers 2 (Rangers win both in OT/Shootout)
Bruins need 4 points to make playoffs, and to guarantee finishing above 8th

Rangers 4, Flyers 1 (one OT game)
Bruins need 3 points to make playoffs, 4 to guarantee 7th+

Rangers 4, Flyers 0
Bruins need 2 points for 8th, 4 to guarantee 7th+

Rangers 3, Flyers 3 (One OT/Shootout win each)
Bruins need 3 points to make playoffs, 5 to guarantee 7th+

Rangers 3, Flyers 2 (Rangers win in regulation, Flyers win in OT)
Bruins need 3 points to make playoffs, 4 to guarantee 7th+

Rangers 2, Flyers 4 (figure it out for yourself the rest of the way)
Bruins need 2 to make it, 6 to guarantee 7th+

Rangers 2, Flyers 3
Bruins need 2 to make it, 5 to guarantee 7th+

Rangers 2, Flyers 2
Bruins need 2, 4 for 7th+

Rangers 1, Flyers 4
Bruins need 1, 6 for 7th+

Rangers 0, Flyers 4
Bruins are in, 6 for 7th+

Just remember that 3 points by the Bruins could be enough to pass the Habs if they lose each of their final two games in regulation. Les Habitantes need only a single point to clinch their playoff spot since they hold the head-to-head tiebreaker with the Rangers. The Habs play tonight @ Carolina and finish up with Toronto on Saturday. Ten different point possibilities come from just two games - have I mentioned the 3-point game system is stupid in the NHL?

The key here is, the Bruins need just 3 points at the most in all but one scenario (Rangers with two OT/Shootout wins). Even a team that is missing half of its D corps should be able to pry 3 points out of these final 3 games and they will only need 2 points to clinch if the dreaded three-point game does not occur in either Ranger/Flyer game.

That sets it up for you - the B's just need to go out and take care of their own business tonight (by the way, they cannot clinch with a win tonight as reported in the Globe).

Tim Thomas Reality Check

Let me lead this off by saying Toucher & Rich are morons. And John Wallach goes beyond moron because he talks like he's the expert on the show (this is equivalent to being the best hockey player on the Guatemalan national team). I tuned in this morning because I had heard they had been talking Tim Thomas trades and wanted to see what they were basing it on. The answer is nothing. I'm sorry I tuned in. Never have I heard more misinformation in so short a span.

Some guy from TheHockeyNews.com thinks they can get a forward, a defenseman, and a veteran goaltender in return for Tim Thomas? Are you effing kidding me? Sounds like some pinhead who just got himself a new job and wanted to feel important in his first ever radio appearance by spewing drivel to incite a few days of chatter. Also, of all the hockey sites out there, where does TheHockeyNews.com rank in the list? And, tell me how this supposed deal would ever fit under the cap and name me the players?

I do give Toucher & Rich credit for this: They did know that some emailer saying they should trade Thomas and Ryder for Patrick Kane was an idiot. Congratulations fellas, you're up to the 5th percentile in hockey knowledge.

Without further ado - here are some things to piss on the fire T&R are trying to create on their radio show...

Chicago will not trade for Tim Thomas - Here is why:
Chicago is in severe cap trouble for next year. If Tim Thomas is on their team, they cannot buy him out without still taking the FULL cap hit for him (35+ Year-old player contract). AND, they cannot send him to the minors to avoid the cap hit which they can do with Huet (Thomas has a no-movement clause). It's simple, the Tim Thomas contract would be a noose around Chicago's management's necks for THREE years after this year.

The Bruins will not trade Tim Thomas to Washington - Here is why:
What will Washington give the Bruins in return? They don't have any assets on the blueline that would interest the Bruins. I don't think the Bruins are interested in Mike Knuble. The Capitals aren't going to trade Ovechkin, Backstrom, or Semin. That leaves lesser players like Brooks Laich and Tomas Fleischmann as potential acquisitions. I don't think this is enough for the Bruins to trade for. Also, I believe Washington will go to the playoffs with Varlamov as their goaltender. The only thing that Peter would go for would be Thomas for Semin (with some picks potentially involved), but I just don't think Washington wants to give up Semin for the difference between Thomas and Theodore/Varlamov.

The only Tim Thomas trade that makes logical sense to me would be with Philadelphia - Here is why:
The Ray Emery experiment has not worked out for them and he is now hurt again. Michael Leighton was a castoff from one of the worst teams in the league this year. Philadelphia is looking for stability in goal and has assets they would be willing to trade to get it...and these assets would also interest the Bruins. The one asset that jumps off the page is Jeff Carter - supposedly there are some locker room issues involving him this year and he has underperformed, but he is clearly an elite talent. This would also work for the cap since they have identical $5M cap hits. This makes sense. The crap that T&R were spewing on the radio makes no sense at all.

Now, before anything can be done, Timmy has to waive his no-trade. I have a feeling Timmy would be reluctant to waive his NTC to go to Philly. Could the Bruins be playing Tuukka right now in an attempt to get Thomas to waive his no-trade? I don't think they would do that to him, but there has to be some desperation on management's side of things so maybe they would. I like Tuukka, but he hasn't exactly been a late-'90's version of Dominik Hasek here lately either. That tying goal to Hamrlik against the Habs at home should not have gone in and yesterday's Myers goal was weak too (both of which beat him to the glove side, where Derek Roy's goal also beat him yesterday). John Wallach thinks Tuukka is the next Marty Brodeur, but I'm not ready to crown him just yet. But if you can get Jeff Carter in return for Tim Thomas, you do it.

The trouble is, if you're Peter Chiarelli, how do you convince Timmy to let you do it?