Saturday, November 19, 2011

B's Keep Pounding Ass

B's won the other night in a horrendously ugly matchup w/ the Blue Jackets, 2-1 (SO).
  • At the center of all things wrong in the world is none other than Bruins defenseman Joe Corvo. Every night this guy brings anywhere between 5 and 7 metric ass-tons of suckage to the rink. And not too far behind him is Kampfer. The tonnage of suckage he brings is still in its infancy, but he's done some weird things out there. Plus, he just gets torched all the time.
  • Speaking of Kampfer, you know this guy's a trouble magnet, right? Univ of Michigan, okay, and he's been assaulted TWICE.

Kampfer delivers a clean hit and some dude takes exception. The "history" the announcers are referring to is the attack he experienced earlier in the year at the hands of some Univ of Michigan football players. Also, this

  • Ben wa Pouliot finally gets off the schnide by scoring a goal. He's still got cheap Hab-its to break (stick is high a lot, some high hits; overall douchey-ness) but he is skating hard, so...
  • We hit, what, 1200 posts the other night? Rang iron all night, weird how that happens. Chara almost knocked the net off its moorings, as did Horton with a wicked wrista to the crossbah.
  • Zach Hamill threw a hit last week. Piped up one 311'er, "zach hamill, hitting someone in the corner. weak." And I said, "that was more Dorothy Hamill". Don't know if that was original joke, but there ya go.
  • Kessel still in scoring lead - what IS this shit?
  • @msavvy91 still predicting Bruins wins and goal scorers. It's a little creepy. Is there a Peterborough equivalent to Powerball? Maybe he should play...

Friday, November 11, 2011

B's Pound Ass

The B's slapped away a young Oiler team last night, 6-3.
  • Joe Corvo is still on my shit list despite his 3 assist effort. Commented a 311'er, "we'd have a dangerous team....if only Joe Corvo could actually play defense."

  • The Tyler Seguin Explosion continues with a goal and an assist last night. I hope he overtakes Phil Kessel for the league lead in goals, points, etc. because Phil's shitty mug is still all over It's getting to the point, especially with the way that line has been gellin' (so much so, I'm wellin') that it really looks like they can't be stopped. I mean, Seguin missed, what 2 or 3 empty nets the other night? I mean this line is sick, and they're the second line. Horton is starting to wake up and skate with more purpose (though he missed 2 gimmes last night) and Lootch is sucking less. The KHL line had one early even-strength shift last night where they had sole puck possession in the offensive zone for what felt like I dunno, a week and a half, which eventually led to the Boychuk goal.
  • Who, what, huh? Mark Mowers on The Instigators, folks. The nadir of NESN programming? You decide.
  • I went to a Hahvid Bah after the game last night. There was equations 'n shit on the walls. Everybody was regurgitatin' Gordon Wood.
  • Speaking of Blake Wheeler, he's 0-7-7 with the Jets right now.
  • You remember Rick Zombo, right? Well this former Bruin (67 games in the 90's: 4-10-14) is now the coach of the Lindenwood University hockey team, located somewhere in Missouri.

Thursday, November 3, 2011


  • I go to the league leaders and league pissant Phil Kessel is still leading the league in points, goals, and plus/minus. gag.
  • Seriously, why are you here? Go back to Days of Y'orr.
  • The other night, Chris Neil and Joe Corvo were about ready to go at it, but the linesmen broke it up. Dunno if they showed it on TV, but I got pretty excited - I wanted to see Chris Neil clobber Joe Corvo. You see, each year, Vf311 focuses it's irrational hate-death ray on a Bruin player who kind of sucks. This year, it's Joe Corvo. Check the Google - back in 2002 or so, when he was a punk with the Monarchs, he attacked some chick in a bar and had to do community service and stuff. Rumor has it, he actually attacked a tranny. I dunno, I wasn't there.
  • Guy who sat next to me on Tuesday, I think he shat himself during pre-game and forgot to clean up.
  • Section 322 tried to start the wave Tuesday. THERE ARE NO WAVES IN HOCKEY.
  • Yes, that was Hockey LEGEND Ian Moran on The Instigators the other night. Really? Ian Moran? And I thought I spied Mark Mowers on NESN the other day, too. Mowers was Dave Lewis' cabana boy back the day when the B's kinda sucked. Those were the dark days, with Dave Scatchard and Brad Isbister.
  • No real great analysis about the latest team play. I mean, I think they gotta push thru it and hopefully they find their way before it's too late. We'll see what happens against the Laffs in Toronto on Saturday. The Laffs are playing well for some strange reason...