Thursday, December 31, 2009

B's win. I like this.

Last night, it was Atlanta's turn to do a little sleepwalking (18 total shots) as the Bruins won, 4-0. Rask had the shutout, but was barely challenged. The Bruins chased Pavelec from goal for the 2nd time in two weeks. Goals by Sturm, Bergeron, Bitz, Begin. Huge game by Sobotka - he's just a nut out there.
random crap
  • The Hosers picked their Olympic team, they got Patrice Bergeron. They did not grab Savard, though. Savard may use this as fuel to play even more crazy (2 assists last night). I dunno. The Cole Harbour Hoser who sat next to me last night wondered out loud if the US team would even be able to beat Switzerland. OH! THE GAUNTLET HAS BEEN THROWN! Team USA is supposed to be announced after the Classic tomorrow.
  • Just watched the Bruins practice at Fenway on the NHL Network. They got Naoko doing the interviews. Most of them said it was kind of hard to pass the puck in the snow, but said the usual cliches. Savard was mic'd up, let out an exuberant "woo hoo!" when he jumped on the ice, said "this ice is better than the Garden, ay", and then started screaming, "Pucks! Can someone get me a puck? Need pucks, ay."
  • James Taylor to sing the US National Anthem tomorrow (the official troubadour of Fenway or something), and Daniel Powter ("Bad Day"), from Vancouver, BC, will be singing the Hoser Anthem. I think the Dropkicks are also supposed to play "Shipping Up To Boston" as well, but I don't know when.
  • World Juniors continue tonight - USA vs. Canada at 8pm. Watch it if only to witness the play of future Bruin/1st overall pick Taylor Hall.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

B's Lose. I'm sick of this.

Where's the consistency here? I thought the B's were turning it around, having won 8 out of 11 a few weeks ago. So far the only consistency I've seen is the well-documented, season-long scoring drought. Sure, NESN likes to put good spin on it (7 players with 7+ goals or some bologna like that) but I think we all know what they're shoveling. Despite yet another solid goaltending performance by Sir Tim Thomas, the B's sleepwalked thru the first 2 periods of Monday night's game in Tampa and lost, 2-1. Goal by Sturm, accompanied by a pretty angry Sturmface due to the non-call on Stamkos who pretty much broke Sturm's arms off with a hook about 2 minutes previous. Sturm's goal was the one peanut in the turd the Bruins dropped last night. Even a lifeless Bitz fight could not help the game. The Bruins turned in a fair effort against the Panthers on Sunday night, winning 2-1...but it's likely an early tee time won out over decent sleep, resulting in sluggish play on Monday.
random crap
  • Holy Shit. The Blake Wheeler suck-fest continues unabated. Zero goals in his last 13 games, folks. I think the league's caught on to the not-so-tricky self-pass off the boards that he performs on those rare times when he's actually on-side.
  • How about them WB Mason commercials? That There Will Be Blood WB Mason guy's got more pancake on him than Tammy Faye Bakker. Thing is, as far as I know, WBM's cornered the market on office supplies in the region. So chill out WBM. And I don't like your commercials.
  • How about them Men's Wearhouse commercials? "You're gonna like the way you look." That dude's voice is so low, I could grate parmesan with it. He should not be pimping suits, he should be on radio. Imagine him announcing goals, etc. at games? I sense, though, his sub-sonic delivery would shake the concrete loose from the FleetGarden roof right onto the rink.
  • No real fights for the Bruins these days. Last night featured a rather weak fight between Lord Bitz and Tampa Bay's 4th line center/noble gas, Zenon Konopka. It was Konopka's 16th? fighting major. Bitz just doesn't have the mean streak required for those fights. The fight started after a faceoff, Bitz got two hooks in, and Konopka got the takedown. I think Konopka wanted more. Seriously, someone needs to piss in the Bruins' Wheaties NOW.
  • Quoth Minnesota the other day, "it's not how you start, it's how you finish".
  • The other night vs. the Thrash, Row 12 actually sat in Row 11, and almost got into a fight with Row 10. Row 10 was hootin' and hollerin' about Wheels, Row 12 said something like "Blake Wheeler is awesome!" just for fun and Row 10 retorted, "yah because he likes men like you?". Comeback of the year right there, kiddo. You really dug deep for that one.
  • Row 11'er brought his brother to the game, who follows the Sharks. I was tempted to make loud choking sounds after he admitted this, but I didn't want to make him cry 2 days before xmas.

That officiating was HORRIBLE!

B's lose.

Minnesota's take on the refs:

What's sad is, that hockey refs are arguably the best group of officials in
professional sports...

You have Donaghy and his allegations in Hoops...not to mention even more
obvious favoritism for the stars...

I'm sure many of you saw what the umpires did this past postseason in
baseball (especially to my poor Twinkies)...

I believe football is worse too...there are some phantom calls on the
gridiron...a phantom tripping call cost the Vikings a win @ Pittsburgh
earlier this season...

Last night was awful though - my favorite Jack Edwards comment was when he said
one of these guys was going to Vancouver for the Olympics and he shouldn't

Also, I'm a big college hockey fan and their referees are far worse than the I look at them as being better for that reason too...

There's a glass half full take which I usually don't take...

Thursday, December 24, 2009

B's Escape with Win Vs. Atlanta..and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

B's win 6-4 in a wild one. 7 more days til the Classic, and MERRY CHRISTMAS! Santa, as always, all I want for Christmas is Lord Stanley's Cup. That is all.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

B's shut out Ottawa

At the request of the Mayor, my sister submitts her interpretation of the events of the past 2 games. My sister sits in non-cheering, hifalutin area known as Loge 4.

"I said to my husband the other night "Did you think, at all, ever, just once, last year while watching the Boys that Phil Kessel would b e wearing another uniform?"
"Nope. Not in a million years."

And you know what's funny? Funny, funny, not funny-haha? I actually liked the Maple Leafs. While visiting Toronto in the past, I remember going into a Maple Leaf sorta pro-shop type store (Queen's Quay, I think it's called. Some mall by the water. And it's pronounced "key", not "KWAY"--This, I learned, making an arse out of myself. Which is a common occurrence.) and considering the purchase of souvenirs. I even have this sick 'n twisted respect for the chinless Tomas Kaberle, and the way he breaks the targets in the goal during the skills competition at the All Star Game.
But now--essh with Phil Kessel... yuck, I get the dizzies just thinking about it. I loathe them now. And those annoying striped socks.
I like the way the Boys knock Phyllis Kessel all around the rink as if they scored 100 points for ringing his bell. I like the way the Boys prevent Miss Kessel from getting shots off or from attempting to execute some form of offensive attack. I wonder if he goes into the locker room during intermission and sobs. Do his shoulders shake with fury? Does he burst into angry tears? Does he run, arms flailing, to the dressing area and throw himself on the bench, screaming "leave me alone!!!"?
I hated seeing Tuukka Rask let that puck slip by him. I watched it over and over. That kind of mishandling (and I want to avoid the word "mistake" here) just givers me the shivers. Why? Because it reminds me of ME. Please note: NHL goalies, even rookie ones, should never EVER remind me of me.
Kessel-mania IV isn't until February? March? When? Long time from now, that's all that matters. I'm tired of watching the only woman (Sid Crosby is technically classified as female infant) in the NHL.

Bruins vs. Ottawa:
Or as Jack would say "Ottahwaaah". (oh and Jack: don't be catty with Carrie and Mike Fisher because it's just ugly and...odd. Leave that to ME...see below). So we started with some shifting in the lines. Begin was teamed up with Savard and Sturm. Wheeler with Krejci and Ryder. "I made all this Paella" played with Bergeron and Recchi. And Thornton had fun in the sandbox with Sobotka and Bitzy. I know I cried buckets with Begin arrived, but I have been temporarily cured of my fear of Begin. He is FEISTY. What on earth is on Ryders' mind? Is it hockey? Is it Santa Claus, or the Newfie equivalent? The game against the Maple Leafs--he whiffed on a gentle pass from Savard that Helen Keller could have seen. Last night, Krejci made a lovely pass to Ryder and it went nowhere. Did you see that delicious hit on Ruutu by McQuaid?? Third period brought us a Bergeron goal, a pretty one from Sturm, and a shutout for Timmy. Oh nice, very nice. More of these, please. And I want Cload to keep these lines. I wanna see more.

Oh and some info for folks out there wondering where the Wives Carnival is. Husband went to Fan Relations and demanded to know when Wives Carnival is. Fan Relations said that the Bruins are too busy with Winter Classic to do Wives Carnival. Husband served up some guilt and reminded Fan Relations rep that the Wives Carnival raises a ton of bucks for charity. Husband also asked why there was no STH Fanatic Meet 'n Greet this year. Fan Relations rep said that Winter Classic Legends game took the place of that. Oh.
Oh, and one final thing: Congratulations to Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher. Nice to see the Legitimization of Puck Sluts, even famous ones. Where is the darling bride-to-be registered?"

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Blackhawks Scalp B's in Shootout

Yup, the shootout sucks.

The Bruins hung around last night, scored some opportunistic goals around the crease (with some help from the 'Hawks goaltender - he was awful at controlling rebounds)...Krejci scored 2, and Paella & Boychuk scoring the others. Chicago's depth in the shootout, however, is pretty, uh, deep. Bergeron & Wheeler were stopped in the shootout. I think Thomas played pretty well - the B's were under assault a lot of the time - but blown coverages and bad passes led to some of those Chicago goals. The Bruins seem to play differently (i.e., worse) in front of Thomas than in front of Rask. I dunno.
random crap:
  • Matt Hunwick was back at defense, plus Wozniewski played - wearing #44 - which reminds me not of Danny Ainge but of Wes Gardner.
  • Winter Classic Tickets and Winter Classic Legends tickets have arrived. With the media blitz starting yesterday, I have to admit I'm getting somewhat pumped up for this event.
  • Kessel-mania III tonight - Bruins in Toronto this time. I sense Kessel will have a better game than the 2 in Boston, but the Bruins should still win tonight. BONUS: I hope Jack Edwards quaffs a huge stein of Kessel-flavored haterade before tonight's game and spews some vitriol over the airwaves.
  • I hope there are some beatdowns tonight. Maybe even a line brawl. Toronto's just the right bunch of thugs we need to face to glue this team together. Look for Savvy to do one of his patented two-handed slashes to the back of the knee when the ref's not looking. Then he'll chase after the smallest dude on the ice and rabbit punch him when he's prone.
  • Last night, Jack/Brick had to remind us of the Brandon Bochenski for Kris Versteeg trade.
  • Speaking of lopsided trades, check out this top 10 list of NHL lopsided trades.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Good News and Bad News

There was good news and bad news today regarding the two Minnesotans on the Bruins roster. First, the bad news: as the morale officer said, I am inconsolable after the loss of "Caveman" Mark Stuart for 4-6 weeks. The last time this guy wasn't in the lineup, Dave Lewis was the coach of the Bruins. This injury will also prevent him from bowling with his fellow cavemen which I know he really enjoys.

The good news is Blake Wheeler is no longer on the first line. It's about time. You're thinking, "Why doesn't he like Wheeler? Young player from his home state. Good potential and good size for the NHL." No, as I said to the morale officer a few weeks back, I think Blake Wheeler will have the career trajectory of Landon Wilson (another 1st round draft pick who was drafted highly because of his size). Here's to hoping the Bruins do not extend him and move on after this season. Blake Wheeler was also a member of the Golden Gophers (the rodents); hated rivals of my UMD Bulldogs. In another Blake Wheeler development, a new Section 311 STH in Row 10 has surfaced as charter member of the "Wheeler's Worthless Club." This guy, who sits right in front of us, screams at Wheeler every time he touches the puck. This has no effect on Wheeler from Section 311, Row 10, but this guy continues to do it and his hatred for Wheels must far exceed mine. It is also a good conversation starter as, much like last year in the playoffs when I was voicing my displeasure with Wheels before he was finally benched, people turn around and say, "What's wrong with Wheeler?" Claude knows and I think Peter does too. He already extended Lucic and Rask and I hope Stuart isn't far behind, but let Wheels go. The Wheeler-hater in Row 10 loses points though, as he and his girlfriend/wife leave early nearly every night.

Getting back to hockey, Claude is putting Ryder and Sturm up with Savvy. This is a much needed change. Savvy was being wasted on a line with Wheels and Bitz. As much as I love Bitz, and all of Section 311 loves Bitz, he is not a first-line player. This really showed on Monday - he had been holding his own, but Byron would probably tell you himself, that he didn't show up on Monday and forced Claude to make the change. I still love you Bitzy - this doesn't change that.

Stuart Hurt; "Minnesota" Inconsolable

Bruins iron-man and personal favorite of the contributor known as "Minnesota" Mark Stuart has been felled by a broken breastbone, suffered during the Bruins' loss to Philly the other night. Apparently, Stuart will be out 4-6 weeks. He had previously played some 214 consecutive games.
Boychuk, McQuad, and Wozniewski to the rescue. I guess.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

B's drop 2nd straight

Maybe it's now a good thing that the B's will meet the Flyers on New Year's for the Classic. Remember how we all bitched and moaned...the Flyers? Really? What happened to the Canadiens? Even the Rangers maybe? Well now the boys in black and gold may have something to play for. The Flyers are now 5-0-1 in their last 6 at the TD "Garden". Perhaps a home change of venue will make a difference? Stay tuned I guess.

A stalemate first period, though the B's looked pretty decent. Timmy did appear shaky for a bit, but did put in a pretty nice effort. Maybe he's hurt more than we think? Maybe Tuuka's play is getting into his head? I don't know, I'm not going to pretend to know. The only thing I know is that this is NOT the Vezina Thomas we all know and love.

The Sobotka "Non-Goal" sent me through the roof. I knew a loss was coming after that. B's shot out to a one goal lead shortly after, but still that feeling of "we are getting screwed in this game" set in right after the no goal call.

Kimmo Timonen, really? Really? I didn't know he was still alive. That third period was dreadful. Just awful, and Wideman wasn't even on the ice. Can you imagine that he had any effect on the outcome at all? Think what would happen without Chara. When Jack said Wideman wouldn't be coming out at all for the third, I said "Ok, we've got a shot at this one!" Boy was I wrong, again. I really hope that Claude beaned Wideman off the head with a stool or something during the intermission.

What a (^%#$(@*& terrible game. Random crap:

  • Carolina releases Aaron Ward. He's now available at half price. Will Chiarelli roll the dice Mr. Mayor? Wardo is the proud owner of the 4th worst +/-'s in the league at -15, probably because he was on the worst team in the NHL but he is also 36 years old.
  • Toucher and Rich this morning were very excited at the prospect of Wardo's return, so they can add him back on Ward Wednesdays which has now become White Guy Wednesdays with Brian Scalabrine (or however you spell it). I'd be excited too.
  • Scutaro, Lackey and Cameron? They're already ruining my summer!

As always, Let's Go The Bruins...

And Bah-Humbug

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Isles own B's

The B's lost, 3-2 last night in OT. Yeah, the got a point and played a pretty decent game, but it is disappointing to lose when you've outplayed your opponent all night. Goals by Ryder & Krejci. Ryder's was a nice wrist shot from about 30' away, using the d-man as a screen. Rolo never saw it. Krejci's on a tip-in on a nice cross-crease pass from Ryder. All that said, the B's are 8-1-2 in their last 11, so I guess there's no reason to complain. But there is.
random crap
  • Is Blake Wheeler colorblind? This guy just does not see the blue line. He is usually good for 3 or 4 offside infractions per game. Especially frustrating now that he's skating with Savard.
  • Nassau Coliseum. Holy shit, this place makes the Worcester Centrum look like a palace. I don't think they have luxury boxes, they got an old-school setup (as pointed out by Jack/Brick last night), plus it hosts the Islanders and their sad-sack fans. Didja SEE the 2 chicks behind the Islander bench last night? WOOF. In the hierarchy of sad-sack hockey fans, Islander fans rank 3rd behind Whaler fans and Jets fans.
  • I don't know who is worse at not hitting the net - Wideman or Ference. I think Wideman for now. I'd like to know the stats on Wideman/Ference shots vs. SOG
  • Spongetech? Did you read the ads on the boards last night? Yeah, you get your typical Dunkin' Donuts, or Geico, or whatever. But Long Island, they got Spongetech, you see. "The smarter sponge". They got SpongeBob SquarePants in their corner, plus they got me going to their website to figure out what's the big deal about some sponge. So who is the idiot now?

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Kessel Who? Part II

The Bruins pounded the Leafs again, 5-2 on Thursday night. The game was actually a lot closer than the score indicates, as it was 3-2 throughout most of the 3rd period, with a big momentum shift towards the Leafs after they scored 2 quick goals after the 2nd intermission. Goals by "Caveman Strong" Mark Stuart (the contributor known as "Minnesota" has indicated that Stuart is his favorite player, "Geico: So easy, Mark Stuart can do it"), Derek Morris (he still sucks. Can't play defense. He's a pylon out there.), Krejci (super sweet breakaway goal - Toskala got smoked. THE MATRIX IS BACK!), and 2 late, clutch goals by the Recchin Ball.
Kessel was, once again, left off the scoresheet. The anti-Kessel fervor was still high, as the fans now believe that Kessel can't handle the booing. KPD slapped Kessel around in this article, it is recommended reading. KPD also wrote about the Bruins not missing Kessel back in October in the New England Hockey Journal. It is finally available here. Check it out, it's pretty good.
random crap
  • Apparently, huge fight in Section 304. Minnesota called it "the fight of the year".
  • got nuthin'.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Kessel, Phil Kessel Who?

Friday night's game vs. MTL never happened. I don't know what you're talking about.

The Bruins put forth an excellent effort to slap the Maple Laffs down Saturday night, 7-2. Savvy got a hat trick (the crowd seemed confused, and weren't sure if he got the trick or not), Bitz himself got 2 assists, so hopefully the world is back to normal. The B's are 7-1-1 in their last 9, and the league whipping boys come back Thursday for a re-match ("Kessel-mania II").
Oh yeah, some punkass named Kessel returned. Got 2 SOG, was -3 and got an assist on Chara's goal. The chants & boos were fun. I rather enjoyed the return of Phil'n the Villain, to hear the crowd attack him with boos.
I personally think the team took great umbrage at Kessel being a weenie over the summer and into training camp. In the Ottawa-based blog "Down Goes Brown", author Sean McIndoe wondered at the beginning of the season, "Will chemistry suffer now that entire team is no longer united by their desire to punch Phil Kessel in the face?" I'd have to say "no" - they're still using the punkassness of Kessel as a unifying force - I think experiencing playing against him made them step up their game.
The icing on the cake was, of course, former Maple Laff prospect Tuukka Rask being a total slut in net, stopping over 30 shots. Everyone kinda got lazy towards the end of the game, waiting for it to finish, and that's when Toronto got their garbage-time goals.
random crap
  • Heard in the stands, "wow, we just make this organization [Toronto] our bitch."
  • Former Toronto property Brad Boyes with 7-9-16 totals with the St. Louis Blues. I think I'll have to form a list of players who don't suck who used to play in the Toronto system, and aren't there anymore, just as a demonstration of JFJ's asshattery.
  • Jay Leach has been picked up now by the San Jose Sharks. Good for K-Tap, as Jay is now chasing the dream in Worcester with the Sharks as opposed to the Hamilton Bulldogs (MTL's AHL affiliate).
  • Kid who sat next to me fell down twice trying to leave his seat. He tried the old, "I-don't-want-to-bother-the-row-I'm-in-so-I'll-step-on-the-chair-in-the-row-in-front-of-me-and-go-thru-that-row" spiel. No dice. He fell. We laughed.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Kessel is no Jay Miller

Kessel "fought" last night.

Just a waltzing, grappling match with barely any punches thrown. It will probably be ranked as one of the top 5 worst fights of the year.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

B's win again - Life not so horrible

Don't look now, but your favorite hockey team is 6-0-1 in their last 7 games. It certainly doesn't feel like it, with all of the shootouts and stuff.

Last night, the B's beat the Lightning, 4-1. The line of Bergeron, Sturm, and Recchi was insane. Thomas was also nuts, stopping 38 or so shots. Okay, I'm too lazy to check the box score to publish any real numbers.

Watch the drama unfold on Saturday, as Phil Kessel comes back to Boston. I predict that he will be booed lustily. Maybe some B's fans will take it to the gutter and throw batteries at him, Philly-style. Either way, I don't think he'll be greeted nicely. More on this Saturday.

The contributor known as Minnesota is really hating Wheels these days: "He reminds me of Landon Wilson - same body type, same skill set, same number". Landon Wilson ("land of the lost" according to KPD) disappeared in Europe for awhile, but resurfaced in North America recently by signing with the Dallas Stars. He currently plays for the Texas Stars in the AHL. We'll try to have the Mayor grab his autograph someday.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Derek Morris sucks; B's win

"I never quite understood the hatred you had for Derek Morris until now. I am jumping on that bandwagon, and as a matter of fact, I'll be driving that bandwagon." - The contributor known as "Minnesota", during the OT session of tonight's game vs Ottawa.

See, until today, Minnesota was not in tune with my and Row 12's dislike for Derek Morris. We saw the signs. We knew the shortcomings - $3.3M for a guy who is a little bit better offensively than Wideman, but lacking in his defensive skillz.
Tonight, with under a minute left and Ottawa's goalie pulled, Milan Michalek skated right around/through Derek Morris and scored a soft goal on Tim Thomas. The game was tied at 3, and went to a shootout where Michael Ryder scored the winning goal.
Goal & assist for Krejci. The return of the Matrix?
random crap
  • The poor sap on the Devils who blocked Chara's shot last night? broken leg.
  • Kessel went end-to-end to score a goal for Toronto last night. I'd post a link, but you really don't need to see it.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Trap vs. Shootout vs. Punch to the 'Nads: I choose the 'Nad Punch.

Wednesday's game at the Xcel Energy Center in Minnesota vs. the Wild was a lot of what you'd expect. See, the Wild feature one of the NHL's worse offenses (next to our Bruins). So both teams struggled to score. They have limited offense (Koivu, Brunette, some guy named Kobasew, Belanger) and a good goalie. Rask was pretty good in net, though he tends to think he's Brodeur and starts trying to handle the puck. It leads to heart-attack moments where Wide-uh-man or Ference do not understand what he's trying to do, and suddenly the net is open and the defense pair is confused. Keep it simple, Tuukka. Of course, this game went to a shootout after being tied, 1-1. Bruins goal by Bitzus Christ. The Bruins won the shootout. Bergeron, he's got some skillz.
Black Friday's game vs the Devils felt like the same type of game. More limited offense, exceptional goaltending, and 1-1 going into the shootout. Wheels scored the B's goal after a nifty pass from Lord Bitz. Brodeur, after setting the NHL record for all-time minutes played, stood on his head in the 3rd as the Bruins finally woke up and started crashing the net. Wheels scored, but Langenbrunner beat Rask between the pads to win it.
So a rough 2-game set for the B's - playing two defensive teams when your own offense is scuffling can't be easy. I'm pleased with getting 3 of 4 points out of it. The team is slowly inching its way up the league standings. It does suck to lose Looch for a few more weeks as his ankle sprain heals - he changed the identity of the team as soon as he was back on the ice.
random crap
  • Kobasew had a hat trick today for the Wild.
  • The Mayor was in town today.
  • Alex Ovechkin boarded Kaleta Wednesday night. Kaleta had it coming, and I suspect most of the league was glad Kaleta got hit.
  • Bitz' hit on Zanin at about 0:57. video also features his goal.
  • Thornton got in a fight today, he fought Andrew Peters. Wasn't much of a fight, just a lot of grappling. Thornton couldn't get his punching hand free.
  • Joey Kocur vs. Jim Kyte Legendary bout. I've always characterized the Winnipeg Jets as the Hartford Whalers of Canadian Hockey. They got about 8 pasty-white loser fans, which is why they got relocated to Confederate Hockey land.
  • Speaking of losers, saw a Rob DiMaio shirt in the stands today. Not as notorious as when I spotted an Alex Zhamnov jersey last year, but still pretty bad. Imagine being that sucka fan who bought a Zhamnov jersey. Now wear it to a game 2 years later after he was bought out due to some phantom ankle injury. wow.
  • According to today's poster/roster hand-out thing, Patrice Bergeron's full name is Patrice Bergeron-Cleary. Now you know where this came from, as he revealed his Irish side by pounding on Josh Gorges during last year's playoffs. It's always interesting when anyone fights, but when someone who usually doesn't fight gets all pissed and pounds on someone, it adds extra juice to the game. Patrice - a southpaw, hits Gorges in the neck on his 3rd or 4th punch for the KO.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


Here's Hal Gill, sucking as usual. Clearly, not the greatest Hab.
(Getty Images,; used 100% without permission)

Need a reason to barf this Thanksgiving? TSN is deep-kissing the Habs this week by having a "who is the greatest Canadien" spiel on their site.
  • I'd go with Rocket Richard or Jean Beliveau
  • I'm gonna go hurl now.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

3 in a row

Last night, the B's celebrated Savvy's returned with a 4-2 win over the Blues. Savvy had no points in the game, but Bergeron exploded for 4 assists. Goals by Wheels, Looch, Sturm (a shorthanded one thanks to Bergeron intercepting the goalie's aerial pass with his hand), and Recchi. Rask was solid in net. The Bruins actually scored twice on the power play, 2nd unit both times. Bitz got in a fight with Barret Jackman. Jackman got the takedown - no really good blows were landed by either guy.
random crap:
  • Blues got a d-man named "Polak". Not too often you got a person whose last name is an ethnic slur.
  • Felt like 1995 for a moment last night with Tkachuk & Recchi scoring goals.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

2 OT Wins in a Row

So maybe, just maybe, we've turned the corner?

Friday night, the B's hung with Buffalo and earned a 2-1 OT win. This one did not get to a shootout, as Patrice Bergeron tipped a Chara wrist shot from the blue line after a Bergeron face-off win.
Bitz/Looch had monster games, and are gelling quite nicely with Begin. Bitzus Christ showed off the rarely-used 6th gear in his Tremec T56 and threaded a nice, Savard-like pass to Looch on a 2-on-1 rush to beat Ryan Miller. Assist on that goal also went to Rask, who was a monster in net (.962 SvPct), beaten only by a tipped shot on a power play.
random crap:
  • Bruins are 3rd in the league in face-off wins, behind San Jose & Chicago. Patrice Bergeron is 9th in the league, winning 57% of his face-offs. League leader is Paul Gaustad (BUF) with a winning pct of 63.3%.
  • Our power play is still ranked 29th (only the Blues are worse), and our PK has fallen to 5th, behind Chicago, San Jose, St. Louis, and the Rangers.
  • Rod Brind'Amour is last in the league in plus/minus - he is -18. HORRIBLE. A colleague of mine from Quebec translates his name to "loves a little beef".
  • Maple Leaf Suck Watch: They are still sucking and still in last place.
  • If the B's beat St. Looey on Monday, they move into a tie with Buffalo for first place in the Northeast Division.
  • The Marchand Experiment comes to a merciful end, as he, along with Trent Whitfield, was sent back down to Providence.
  • I can only watch either Eli or Peyton right now. Thanks, NFL.

Thursday, November 19, 2009


So, it's pretty bad that the B's gave up ANOTHER goal in the waning seconds with their opponent's goalie pulled. Luckily, Rask was up to the task in the OT session, allowing the B's to challenge the Thrash to a shootout. Peverley shot high, Kozlov got stuffed (24 for 42 in shootouts; that's crazy), and Kovalchuk got stoned. On the Bruins' side, Wheels choked and Bergeron tapped into his inner Datsyuk, faking out the Thrash goalie pretty bad and depositing the puck into an empty net.
The rest of the game was pretty exciting stuff, especially compared to Monday night's game. The Thrash were running around pretty good, and spent what seemed like the entire 3rd period on the power play. LOOCH IS BACK. The team seemed to have extra jump with Looch back on their side. Sturm had 1 goal tonight, but could have had a hat trick in the 1st period alone. Ryder had 2 goals, the 2nd one of which was a nasty snap shot that was typical of Ryder. Maybe this is the turning point? Seems like every time they win, I ask myself..."is this it, is this the turning point where they go 11-0-1 and take control of the NHL?" And they lose the next game.
random crap:
  • There's rumors out there that Savard is, or will be, re-signed for 7 years, for about $30-35 million total, with buyout options in the last 2 years.
  • Nobody at the Atlanta game tonight. There were the dreaded thundersticks in the crowd.
  • Gotta say - how cheezy can the song selections be at the Fleet Center these days? I mean, does "Rock 'n Roll All Nite" strike fear into the heart of your opponent? And do we really need to hear "Welcome to the Jungle" or "Crazy Train"? Their constant play at sporting events ruins some otherwise good songs. B's get it right occasionally - playing "Seek & Destroy" whenever Looch or Thornton fight, or "Black Betty", or even "Nut Rocker" during warmups. Could do without the Linkin Park ("New Divide"), though.
  • Game tomorrow night in Buffalo.
  • Confederate Flag Hockey: Atlanta's just full of castoffs, huh? Christophe Schubert, sent packin' by Ottawa; Marty Reasoner, hated in Edmonton & Boston; Nik Antropov, a player too lazy for even the Maple Leafs; Maxim Afinogenov, hated in Buffalo; Peverley, a Predator castoff; and Jim Slater just sucks.
  • Maple Leaf Suck Watch: The Canes beat the Leafs tonight, 6-5, in a shootout. They are back in last place.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Jumping off the balcony..

Seriously? God we need a spark. The B's brought some fire in the 3rd, but once again can't find the (insert every expletive you've ever heard here) back of the net.

Now we are on the road for four. Atlanta, Buffalo, Saint Louis, and Minnesota before returning home for the triumphant return of me to Boston for Black Friday. I'll be opening Sully's at 10am, and will be heard from anywhere around 311. Be sure to say hello.

Prediction- Bruins gel on this road trip and scratch out 3 of 4 wins.

Let's Go The Bruins...

Monday, November 16, 2009

Making Amends

Four score and seven years ago....(minus 83) the Boston Bruins brought in a new coach, Uncle Dave Lewis. One year post lockout, the B's brought in all sorts of new blood on the ice as well including Chara and Savard. But Uncle Dave needed something familiar, something comforting. Little did Lewis know, he brought along my arch enemy for the next 82 games. Now with the arrival and crappy play of Derek Morris, I am ready to give up the grudge I've held for 3 years, all over 78 regular season games in a last place year.

Mark Mowers, born in Decatur, GA and raised in White Plains, NY. Already with this combination, the first thing that comes to mind is not NHLer. Well Mark attended the University of New Hampshire where he had 85 goals, 112 assists for 197 points in his 4 years stay. Mowers was also the Wildcats Captain his senior season, which ended by a loss to Michigan in the Frozen Four semifinals. Mowers earned many team awards such as MVP, Most Exciting Player, and Best Defensive Forward during his tenure at UNH. Surprisingly Mowers was also an All-Amercian in 1998. All of this to go along with Hockey East Rookie of the Year 1995, All Hockey East 1996 and 1997, and other New England Hockey awards. Turns out Mowers was pretty decent college hockey talent. Too bad for me that someone decided he could play at the NHL level. Mowers now skates for HC Fribourg-Gotteron in Switzerland with 0-12-12 totals in 15 games this year. And lastly Mowers married a UNH gymnast, Jana Reardon.

Way to go Mark, I forgive you.
Let's Go The Bruins.
P.S.- Tell me he's not Beaver Cleaver's long lost twin.

Saturday, November 14, 2009


Tonight was a perfect example of "snatching defeat from the jaws of victory". The Bruins had come back to lead the Pens...and with only 0.4 seconds left - only to lose it in OT, 6-5. The game was over. 44.1 seconds left - and Paella forgets to shoot for the empty net...then Begin misses an empty net attempt...then Bergeron's stick breaks on an empty net attempt. Horrible. Then Wideman has a brain fart on a Pittsburgh clear-in, and Pascal Depuis scores an easy goal to win it in OT. Most Horrible.
random crap
  • Good to see some scoring. Krejci (close in, off a rebound), Wheels, Sturm (deflecting a Chara slapshot with the inside of his left thigh), Morris (he still sucks), and Ryder (wicked shot) had goals.
  • You better believe that Jack Edwards made a comment regarding composite sticks and Bergeron's stick breaking in the final seconds. He also commented on Godard's "fisting ability".
  • More crazy saves by Thomas, two on breakaways by Malkin & Crosby each. Yeah, he let up 5 goals, but the final score could have been a lot worse.

  • Maple Leaf Suck Watch: They lost tonight, 5-2 to Calgary. 29th in the league with 11 points. 30th in the league is Carolina with 8 points.
  • Evgeni Malkin hails from one of the most polluted cities on the planet, Magnitogorsk. Mutant? Sweartagawd he's got a couple eyes on the back of his head. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.
  • Looch was at the NESN desk in between periods. Ya know how Howie Carr's got that "Wizard of Uhs" thing with Ted Kennedy? Play a Ted K. clip, and count the "uh"s? Winner gets a gift cert to the Kowloon or something? Well, he should switch that game over to Looch.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Panthers Get Lucky

It's been said before, and it bears repeating: The shootout just ain't worth it. Yeah, I got sour grapes after last night's shootout loss to the Panthers. The Bruins pretty much dominated the game, and Florida just sat back while Vokoun did all of the work. The overtime session was dominated by the Bruins, and then the shootout came and Cory Stillman (he still plays?) stuffed a weak one past Thomas. It's just lame how a team that dominates a game, but runs into a hot goalie, can end up on the short end in the point column. This game should have ended in a tie and each team receiving one point. But since the NHL thinks the "untapped market" of the mid-latitude/southern USA needs to see "a winner", they've decided to tack this onto the game. The shootout needs to go the way of the FoxTrax puck. And ya know what else is irritating about the shootout? The fact that after each one, everyone has to listen to everyone whine about how they like/hate the shootout.
random crap
  • Tim Thomas made yet another "holy shit!" save in the first period. Tim's game in the past few weeks has been really slutty, something like a GAA of 0.98 in the past 8 games. You know who else has been playing ridiculous goal this season so far? Ryan Miller of Buffalo. US-born goaltenders for the win!
  • While I'm whining about the shootout - too many dekes by Bergeron & Wheeler. They both ran out of room. Chara should have skated to within 10' of Vokoun and blasted one, nevermind trying to do any moves.
  • Speaking of Wheels, he's starting to get on my shit list. He seems to be becoming a little bit of a selfish player, skating with his head down and not looking around for his linemates. I'd rather the Bruins kept Savard than Wheeler.
  • Minnesota first suggested it over a week ago, and I now agree. The Brad Marchand experiment had ended; send the pest back down to Providence and maybe bring him up next year.
  • No fights in the section last night, nothing to really take note of, though there were some pre-teens who just discovered the f-word and were pretty vocal about it. It was like they each had received, just that afternoon, a Fisher-Price "My first f-bomb pull-string talking doll" or something.
  • More problems last night with the line changes. Minnesota was pretty upset by the Dave Lewis-ery going on at the B's bench. Another too-many-men penalty, plus the game against the Pens featured some poor line changes.

Thursday, November 12, 2009


And so does the damn shootout...Timmy makes the save of his life, and then the B's fall. Are you kidding me? Go figure. The shootout, which was suppose to make hockey more exciting in the confederate flag states, and we get beat by a damn Florida team in the shootout.

Highlights of the game? The Thornton fight? Maybe?

Come on Bruins. Come on.

Can Bruins Avoid the Trap?

Tonight is your classic trap game. Playing a struggling, sad-sack team at home coming off two solid home wins against strong competition. This Florida team boasts what I consider the worst defensive corps in the league, much like the Lightning did last season in my opinion and how did they end up? With the #2 overall selection in this year's draft - that's where. I think the Panthers are headed for the same fate and the Bruins need to help them on their way tonight by showing up and doing what they've been doing ever since Chiarelli rattled their cages with the Kobasew/Paille moves - which is play stifling defense.

They are playing a team whose leading scorer is none other than Steve Reinprecht. He hasn't been close to leading a team in scoring since he left my hated Wisconsin Badgers and turned pro back in 2000. This is how bad this team is.

-I'm predicting a 3 point night for David Krejci who needs something to get him going. The guy has only 5 points in 15 games.
-We could see Lootch in a week - I just hope he is first-two-seasons Lootch and not first-six-games Lootch when he does lace 'em up again
-Mark Stuart is a stud and I take every opportunity to praise the guy - lock him up Chiarelli a la the Lootch and Tuukka deals

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

B's March Over The Penguins

In between the plentiful debates regarding Sidney Crosby's gender, numerous shout-downs, and an almost-fight, the Bruins put together a pretty tight game to defeat another top-ranked team and shut out the Pens, 3-0. Highlights included Hunwick's almost-not-a-goal, ruled a goal by the officials (Minnesota was sitting in the Sportsdeck and said it was pretty obvious; from 311, I could barely tell it went in.) after replay; Paella finally finishing on a breakaway attempt; and Bergeron scoring with 3.5 seconds left while the B's were shorthanded, 6-on-4. Lots of injuries on the Pens' side - Malkin, Talbot, Gonchar, Letang were not playing. Crosby was stuck skating with, ah, Ruslan Fedotenko and some other shiftless bastid. I'm sorry folks, but I've had Ruslan Fedotenko on my fantasy team (briefly) - here's a guy who is so bad, even the Islanders opted to not re-sign him. If Fedotenko skated with Orr, Bourque as his d-men and Gretzky & Crosby as his fellow forwards, he'd still find a way to suck.
Almost had a fight in 311 last night. Some chump in Row 12 (not the scribe known as "Row 12" who contributes to this blog) started jawing at somebody in Row 13 about something, and the Row 12 guy walked down the row to confront Row 13 guy. Oh yeah, alcohol may have been involved. So yeah, the pudgy Row 12 guy actually slipped and stepped on my back while confronting Row 13 guy. Then the Fleet Baybank BankBoston rent-a-cops showed up and escorted the dudes out.
random crap:
  • Good to see Mark Stuart crunch Brooks Orpik against the boards. Orpik spent the rest of the shift hunched over near Fleury, then skated to the locker room and did not return for the rest of the game. Stuart wins that battle 100 times out of a 100. Orpik is a turd.
  • Despite the student-night mentality of the section last night, no real good chants originated from the section. Just taunts of "Flllleeeeuuuuurrrryyyyyyy", and the aforementioned "Does Crosby have a vagina?"-type debates.
  • 2nd on the team in points so far this season? Steve Begin (2-8-10)
  • Tied for 3rd on the team in plus/minus? Lord Byron Bitz himself (+3).

Monday, November 9, 2009

Fantasy Hockey Update

The first 5 weeks are in the books for the inaugural season of Section 311 Fantasy Hockey. The league has 13 members who are Bruins season ticket holders and 1 who is in Texas (I wonder who that is?). Of the 13 STH's, only one of these is outside of Section 311. He's in 309 so that's close enough. There are 12 scoring categories in which you compete against a different opponent every week. Here is an update on how your favorite blog contributors are doing:

Minnesota - 37-20-3 (1st place - Byron Division)
Morale Officer - 32-25-3 (3rd place - Bitz Division)
Row 12 - 30-25-5 (3rd place - Byron Division)
The Mayor - 21-32-7 (5th place - Bitz Division)

Row 12 benefited from his opponent being in Ireland and missing the lineup deadline on Monday and scored an 11-1 thrashing of the Bruise Brothers. The Mayor actually improved his record last week with a sound 7-3-2 defeat of The Panama Red's. Yours truly scored an 8-3-1 win over one of the newest members of Section 311, the owner of The Baby Squirrels. Finally, the Morale Officer also won the week with an 8-4 defeat of The Bitzy Cats. Bitzy's sweet moves in front of the net on Saturday night were not enough to muster more than 4 points out of the matchup.

So, it was a good week for all four of the bloggers, but our mayor has a lot of catching up to do.

Looking ahead, it's a big week for the Morale Officer as he takes on the man he is chasing for first in the Bitz Division. The Mayor gets a crack at the lowly Baby Squirrels who I just finished dispatching, while Row 12 takes on his former roommate. I am up against Z's B's who currently sit just 4 games behind me in 2nd place in the Byron Division.

Currently in last place overall sits the guy who is notorious for not showing up to games until sometime in the 2nd period (including this past Thursday against the Habs). It's fitting that he is in dead last with a miserable 13-44-3 record on the season.

In the coming weeks, I'll keep you apprised of the blogger's progress and start criticizing/applauding managerial moves made in the league.

Anything to sell tickets...

After attending the Stars/B's game in Dallas a few weeks ago, I received this postcard in the mail. You read that correctly. I can purchase 5 games for half price, and if the Stars win that game, I get another free game, up to 5 free games.


Sunday, November 8, 2009

B's Rattle Sabres

I love being right.

The Bruins bared their teeth last night in a game that featured 3 fighting majors and some slashing. Shawn Thornton took on the league's punching bag, Steve Montador, and beat him. Then he took on Paul Gaustad, who had been being a pest all night, and beat him, too. Stuart threw Jochen Hecht down in a fit of caveman fury. I think Stuart held back a little because Hecht was wearing a face-shield. And the Bruins won the game. Okay, so we faced their rookie goalie in his first NHL game, and maybe Buffalo was playing its second straight game in as many nights, so the path was cleared for us, but I'll take it. Paella must have had at least a billion scoring chances and converted on none. Noted Minnesota, "He shoulda had 8 goals tonight." Lord Byron Bitz scored a goal (pretty goal line dangle), Sturm scored (finally a goal that went off the post and in instead of out - check out HubHockey for classic SturmFace), Chara (a freakin' BOMB from the blue line with Recchin Ball screening Enron, er, Enroth), and The Recchin Ball (tipped a wrist shot/pass from Dmo). Bergeron could have had a few goals, but tried to get too pretty with the stickwork and ran out of room both times.
random crap:
  • Best comment of the night came from a fan a few rows back, "Buffalo sucks - the Bills suck, the Sabres suck, you guys have never won anything, so what's happening here should be no surprise."
  • Has ever been award "top 100 websites of all time" by Time Magazine, or something? It should at least be in the, say, top 15, if you ask me.

Friday, November 6, 2009

K-Tap now a Habs Fan???

Career minor leaguer Jay Leach was claimed off waivers from NJ today by the Habs.
Jay Leach is Kathryn Tappen's husband. It's likely that Leach will play for MTL's AHL team, the Hamilton Bulldogs. Expect K-Tap to get a lot more guff than usual from the studio crew.


Last night, Maxim Lapierre was takin' liberties in the crease on Tim Thomas. Andrew Ference pulled him aside and basically tried to get him to fight. Grappling him, pointing a finger at him, telling him what his mom did last night for the team, and all that stuff. LaPierre kept his gloves on. No fight, no penalties (actually, matching penalties away from the play).
This is yet another portion of the Bruins' game that has gone wrong. There have been 8 fighting majors from the Bruins this year, and none since the Ottawa game (in which there were 3 fights). That's 5 games without a fight, and only 1 win (Edmonton). While my fighting-majors-leads-to-wins analysis isn't complete, early indications show that a Shawn Thornton fight = win. So somebody tell Shawn that Thomas Vanek has been talking smack about him, and maybe we'll get the blood flowing again vs. the Sabres. If you're not going to score goals, fine; but if you're going to lose, then kill a few of your opponents. Our penalty kill is not that bad, we can take it.
random crap:
  • Dane Byers (LB's cousin) was suspended 1 game for instigating. The apple does not fall far from the tree, folks.
  • Check out Jack Edwards' Phil Kessel impression. For those who haven't seen it yet, Kessel was hit by Mattias Ohlund in his Maple Laff debut.
  • Minnesota reports in with this depressing stat: Thru 9 home games last season, the Bruins were 7-1-1, scoring 38 goals and giving up 20. Thru 9 home games this season, the Bruins are 4-4-1, scoring 22 goals and giving up 24. Consider that last year we witnessed at 14-game home winning streak. This season, we go crazy over our 1st goal in 192 minutes.
  • Yeah, that's Sobotka tied for 2nd on the team in hits with 29 (Chara is first with 35). Note that he's played half the games as anyone else on the team.
  • Maple Leafs suck watch: Tied for 30th (last) in the league with Carolina. These 2 HORRIBLE teams play each other tonight.
  • Terry O'Reilly pounds on Dave "Tiger" Williams.
  • Hal Gill did not play last night. So disappointing, not being able to chant "Hal Gill sucks". It still amuses me how his homecomings are usually met with loud chants of how much he sucks. He probably says he doesn't care, but I hope a little bit of him dies inside each time he hears it.
  • The contributor formerly known as "Section 311" is now "Morale Officer".

What the hell is going on?

Well...First the highlights.

-Bruins score. Anyone else think we should just pull the goalie more? It seems to generate our only offense.
-Tukka has signed for 2 more years.

And the rest-

-As soon as that non-goal went in, you could see the goal was lifted off the moorings. Heartbreaker.

-I hate the shootout. Still.

- Honestly. Why the hell was Recchi shooting 3rd in the SO? I LOVE Recchi. It just didn't make any sense. Are we that banged up? Clearly the breakaway isn't Recchi's best move. Now if it was a screen/tip in contest, I'd take him any day of the week. I guess we didn't have anyone else. Chara for a bomb? As soon as I heard Recchi's name, I knew it wasn't going to end well.

- Seriously, what the hell is going on w/ Bergeron's Fu-man-chu?

-Also, after the non-goal, Patrice looked at Julien, and said the goal was lifted up.

-I got an interesting text during the game saying, "they are worse than they were 2 years ago." The truth in that statement is 2 years ago we didn't expect the B's to score. It was all defense. Now? They just can't score.

-Great point by another of our infamous blog contributors. Savvy is licking his chops at this lack of offense. How much is that going to boost his contract? We need him BAD.

-I should have bet my life on the under in that game last night.

Well, Saturday night vs. Buffalo.

Thursday, November 5, 2009


The greatest rivalry in sports is renewed again tonight.
Will the Bruins score?
Will Laraque play with his back injury?
Will Bitz return?
Will hordes of Habs fans get booed out of Sully's Tap?


prediction 8-1 Habs.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

It's time...


Sunday, November 1, 2009

Power Outage

Let me sum up the B's offense:

yup. Blank. B's lose, 1-0. 0 for 5 on the powerless play. Minnesota has suggested more than once that the Bruins should start declining penalties like in football. And Lundqvist always looks unstoppable to me. The Bruins just haven't really figured him out yet. He is 11-3-2 against Boston in his career with a GAA well under 2 (Yahoo! has him at 1.42, but that was before today's shutout.) The B's best chance probably came when Sturm shanked a backhand after he got Lundqvist to go down on a breakaway. The Sobotka crash line wasn't as good today, and yeah, the team skated well, but a minor defensive blunder (Wheels) and a Chara screen led to Gaborik's goal. I was going to start a rant about how many members of the New York Rangers are just complete pieces of shit (Avery, Brash, Dubinsky, Callahan, Nigel Dawes - even though he plays for the Flames now, Nigel Dawes is still a putz), but then I remembered that even New York hates the Rangers.
random crap:
  • Andrew Ladd of the Blackhawks smokes Matt D'Agostini. It warms the cockles of my heart to see any Canadien get their shit re-arranged, but damn.
  • I'm actually bothering to watch the Celtics play, uh, the New Orleans somethings. New Orleans Jazz? The NBA has relaxed their traveling rules, but I can't tell the difference. Everyone's walking out there. Man, the NBA game is a shit game and has been ever since Reggie Lewis died.
  • Not like it matters to anyone, really, but MSG's pretty overrated if ya ask me. MSG needs to see the recchin ball soon. Built in 1968, it's been renovated a few times, and will be renovated again in 2012. Just knock that thing down and start over. In an age where new arenas get built even if there are no teams to fill it, you'd think they would have razed/rebuilt MSG at least once in the past 40+ years.

B's Strike Oil

The B's have been doing this win-lose pattern all season, being consistently inconsistent. However, it appears that the tide has somewhat turned, as the B's turned in their 2nd straight tight, hard-fought game at home yesterday when they shut out the Oilers, 2-0. Both goals were scored by the Paella-Sobotka-Wheels line. The first goal showed the REAL Sobotka that we know - the player who plays 5x bigger than he is - just completely fearless. He fought Theo Peckham along the boards, keeping possession, until he broke free and threw a blind pass out in front which Wheels shot into the net. The second goal also featured Sobotka & Wheels crashing the net. Rask had a couple good saves, but really didn't have to work too hard. Sobotka has played only 5 games, yet already is tied for 3rd on the team in hits with 19.
random crap:
  • Coming soon: An attempt to correlate fighting majors and Bruins wins. I'm convinced their early season malaise is due to the fact that they really haven't beat anyone down yet.
  • The Rangers aren't playing so hot these days, so today's matinee should be interesting - mainly whether or not the B's can replicate the past 2 performances.
  • Former B's update: For the Minnesota Wild, Shane Hnidy has 0-3-3 totals with 18PIM; Chuck Kobasew has 1-2-3 totals with 6PIM; Perennial punching bag Steve Montador has 0-3-3 totals with 15PIM with the first-place Sabres (who lost yesterday to the Isle, 5-0); Brad Boyes has 2-4-6 totals with 0PIM and 0 PP goals with St. Louis; P.J. Axelsson has 3-7-10 totals, with 29PIM (what?) in 15 games with Frolunda of the Swedish Elite League, if I read their statistik page right; Brandon Bochenski leads the Tampa Bay Lighting's farm affiliate (Norfolk Admirals) in scoring with 6-2-8 totals; Also playing with BranBo is Matt Lashoff (1-1-2, 29PIM, -6) and Martins Karsums (0-0-0, 10 shots). Thanks for the Recchin Ball and the draft pick, you chumps.
  • Recently, Contributor Minnesota spied a Phil Kessel shirt with #81 on the back, his name taped over in masking tape, and "2010 first round pick" written on the tape. That's got the makings of a good t-shirt there.
  • Speaking of which, Maple Leafs suck watch: 1-7-4 for 6 points, good for 30th (dead last) in the league. Taylor Hall, folks. Keep an eye on him.
  • Spotted a Whaler fan in the building yesterday - wearing his #77 Paul Coffey jersey. He had his young daughter with him, and even she was ashamed - she was trying to distance herself from him, but he kept tugging on her arm as they were leaving. There were some B's fans who were giving him shit, and rightfully so - Whaler fans are second-class citizens.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Fruits of the Devil

"Yankees Suck" chants, underage drinking, numerous almost-fights - Yep, musta been student night at the TD Banknorth Fleet Bank of Boston Baybank Garden Center. The Bruins turned in probably their best home effort since they slapped the 'Canes around a few weeks back, only to lose in the final minute-and-a-half. The Jersey goals were typical Jersey - opportunistic, garbage-type goals. Pucks breaking thru Thomas and Zubrus cleaning up with a crease shot. Jersey, showing no respect, put Yann Danis in net. The B's passes, for the most part, were pretty crisp and the team showed more cohesion than usual. Bergeron was set up nicely by Paella, he had 24 square feet of yawning, gaping net to shoot at, and he hooked it wide left. Remember, this is why Patrice no longer works the point. That experiment died in the Dave Lewis era/error when Patrice missed about 40 one-timers from the left circle/point on the PP.
random crap:
  • "Green Man" located a few seats to our left. Thankfully, the jumbotron people were merciful and did not show him.
  • The contributor known as "Minnesota" should be back online within a few days, his new computer power supply just arrived.
  • Latest issue of the Improper Bostonian has cheesecake pics of some Bruins in it. Quoth my sister, "they even made Sturm look good."
  • Marchand still looking a little bit lost out there. Minnesota chalks it up to a lack of confidence.
  • Most 311'ers got their Winter Classic tickets over the past few days. The process leading up to their purchase was somewhat odd - some folks hearing lots of information, and some didn't get any correspondence at all.
  • Tried to tune into the post-game on the Sportshub, and some caller whined about about the price spent on season tickets, and then the "uninspiring" performance by the B's last night. That's pretty much when I flip the channel - when they open up the phone lines. Dave Goucher pretty much told the guy, "that's not how we saw the game." He may have said other things, but I went to another station.
  • Mini-one-on-one wunderkind Oliver Wahlstrom attempted his breakaway lacrosse moves last night during intermission. He shot it wide. Minnesota noted that the kid "got some puck skills there".
  • Classic Lyndon Byers quote here. Scrub to 0:37. What is it about former pugilists going into broadcast media? Just this clip shows Beers, Milbury, LB; Matthew Barnaby does stuff for ESPN, Rob Ray's been on tv, P.J. Stock is on HNIC...and there's probably more.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Today's Hilarious ebay Item of the Day...

Can it get any better than a 1971 IHOP Bruins Placemat?

So back in 71, someone was eating at IHOP, decided to take home the placemat and sell it 38 years later...

The quote is great... "tho it does show some wear."

Couldn't quite keep the syrup off the mat. Not to mention remember when you could smoke at IHOP? You couldn't breathe in that place. If you look closely Marcotte may have a cigarette burn on his face. Or that could be a sideburn.

PS- I may bid on this.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Morris Off Our Shit List...for now

Derek Morris ("Dmo") was quickly becoming the new Mark Mowers of Section 311. Seemingly all passes to Chara were not crisp and his decision-making was poor. $3.3M, folks. I was convinced that his poor play was the reason the Bruins power play was powerless. Yet as of last night, with 2 assists in the final two minutes of the game to bring it to a tie, he has - at least temporarily - stopped sucking.

Cleaning out my basement yesterday, I came across my sister's old Wes Walz jersey. Back in the early 90's, she was a huge B's fan and her favorite player was Wes Walz. She left the Bruins religion when Joe Thornton was traded.

The Mayor very recently partook in a Confederate Flag Hockey Game in Austin, TX. Here is the view from his seat. Observed The Mayor, "There is nothing to do around here but drink cheap beer."

Saturday, October 24, 2009


WOW. WOW. WOW. WOW. The only other game I remember seeing scoring 2 goals with the goalie pulled in the last 2 minutes was the improbable BU win on the way to the National Championship last year.

WHAT A WIN! Can you believe it? First off, as I wrote earlier this week, I'll take Recchi forever. What a tip! And Krej scoring shortly after. Heart attack central. Great game by Thomas. Patrice gets a little revenge with the Shootout goal (what a squibber) after the miss the other night.

I said if you told me we'd get 5 points out of the last three games I'd be more than happy. We got 5 points. This B's team showed a hell of a lot of heart tonight.

More to come later. But what a freaking win.


Friday, October 23, 2009

P-Bruins Scouting Report (A couple weeks late)

Two weeks ago I had the pleasure to view the Baby B's take on the Hartford Wolfpack. Here's a short scouting report on the boys.

If you haven't taken yourself to an AHL game yet in your life, please for the love of god make the short drive to Providence. It is a move you will not regret. For $26.50 I sat in seats comparable to those of the Mayor in Dallas, 13 rows from the ice on the aisle at the end the B's shoot twice. The give aways are unbelievable. During a commercial break (I think it's televised on COX cable only available in RI) they gave away maybe 25 things. You enter a slip in a raffle box and they give away gift cards, food, and all kinds of stuff for the kids. They are not messing around in RI.

The hockey itself is a bit sloppy. Obviously not at it's highest level of play, the game however doesn't suffer from a viewing standpoint and these kids make it up with their feisty style of play. There were 4 legitimate fights and 2-3 skirmishes that were broken up. My favorite occured just as Kirk MacDonald netted a tally for the B's to go up 3-1, as he turned towards the right face off circle on one foot and fist pumping, a Baby Ranger bumped into him. MacDonald immediately dropped his gloves and pounded the kid to holy hell. A play I knew would make the Mayor salivate on sight. There were also a lot of Hail Mary dumps, in which the puck is just lofted as high as possible to try and break it out. Not very effective but interesting to watch. It's like anticipating a punt return in the XFL, you just know someone is about to get lit up.

As for the Baby B's themselves. Vladimir Sobotka (yes I know now is a regular B) plays like he is 10 foot tall and bulletproof. It's the same game he plays in the bigs, but much more entertaining to watch at the AHL level because he looks like the reincarnation of Cam Neely, but 5 inches shorter and 50 pounds lighter. Brad Marchand (again regular B now) plays tough and his game is really respectable. Mark Recchi like, always in front of the net, killer wrister and very quick. Mikko Lehtonen netted a pair that night and I'm surprised he wasn't called up again. That boy has got some serious skill and I think we'll see him very very soon, maybe for good. Trent Whitfield is the Baby B's Captain and he's like a Steve Begin. The player you hate to play against but love to have on your team. Very pesky and kind of dirty. Probably won't stay long up in the bigs but nicely rewarded for the hard work he puts in down in RI. Danny Sabourin played solid in net stopping 34 of 37, he was a decent pick up in the off-season if things really get hairy in Boston.

A very good night, B's win 5-3. Though I was very disappointed with the fighting. Well not so much the fighting itself, which happened with regularity and there were some decent bouts. What I had a problem with is that one of Hartford's Assistant Captains skated the whole night and didn't even come close to dropping the mittens. And if you have the name Byers emblazoned on the aft of your sweater, you better come with plans of doing so. Lyndon's little cousin Dane is apparently not the second coming. I'll just have to go down the next time their in town to see if he takes off the skirt.

That is all. Let's go the Bruins.

and for that matter......

Let's go the P-Bruins as well

Today's Hilarious ebay Item...

2 for 1 Friday!

As I write this, both can be yours for 38 Cents!

As usual, too much for Hal Gill...

Ryder shoots! POST!

Son of a gun.

A couple points to consider here.

First off- Time Warner Cable in Austin does not have the NHL Network. I have Center Ice, and they didn't show the game, because of NHL Net. So I had to watch some stream that looked as though some teenager stuck into an R rated movie to tape it on his Camcorder.


My prediction ALMOST came true on Paella's sweet wrap around in the third. But alas he couldn't stuff it home.

Recchi can play hockey for us until he's 70 as far as I'm concerned. The tip in is a thing of beauty, and the screen on the goal was great. I'll take him on my team any day of the week. However, watching him skate around without a helmet during warmups can be a bit scary. The shine off his bald melon could blind someone.

What the hell else happened? I still hate the shootout. Bergeron lost the puck, although he may have had Emery beat. Who knows. D-Mo can play hockey. He is certainly a player we were missing in the past.

Last but not least- If you told me going into Wednesdays game that we could get out of this 3 game trip with 5 points I would have been excited. Well we have 3. A win in Ottawaaaaaaahh Saturday night could make that happen.

Let's Go Bruins!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Flyers/Bruins Preview....

Sorry couldn't resist.

Click here.

And look for a Paella goal tonight. I'm calling it now.

Let's Go Bruins!

Today's Hilarious Ebay Item...


Brought to you from his moms basement...


The Providence, I mean Boston Bruins stepped up big last night. Led by the new 311 savior, Danny "Paella" Paille, B's won a HUGE one 3-2. (nod to Edwards).

Obviously "Paella" Paille was skating on a line with Lord Byron Bitz to make this happen. I mean all it takes is two minutes of hockey skating with Bitz to elevate your game.

Editorial Note- I only caught the 3rd period, so hopefully one of my 311 comrades can fill in the blanks.

Those #20 sweaters are going to be flying off the shelves...

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Today's Hilarious EBay Item...

Shippings not the only thing that should be free...

Savard on IR...

That's it, I"m officially pressing the panic button.

3 games starting tonight in 4 days.

Playing in Philly and Ottawa is never easy, and who knows how they will play tonight.

According to "The Hat" Paella is going to save us. I knew that was a Spanish dish.

Let's Go Whatever Bruins We Have Left...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

B's get Paille

Who? Yeah, the B's gave up a 2011 3rd round pick, a bag of pucks, and a wad of pocket lint for the Sabres' Daniel Paille. I received a text from The Mayor about the trade, he asked me what I thought - I responded "eh". This trade isn't worth raising your blood pressure over. Then I thought about it for a second, and wondered if that was someone that Andrew Ference had fought a few years ago. No, that was Jochen Hecht. Not a good fight, really. So to cleanse your palate, here's P.J. Stock and Stephen Peat.

Thanks for the hard work, Chuck. "The shortest distance between two points is Chuck Kobasew.", according to Sir Jack Edwards.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Phoenix=Slap Shot Syndrome....

The team is on the verge of bankruptcy, the crowds are slim, the team is threatening to move.

So what do the Coyotes do? Win of course. I was impressed by Phoenix's game last night. They skated hard, took only 2 power play shots, both for goals, and beat the B's 4-1.

I wish Vegas had a line on whether Scottie Upshall was going to score a goal last night. If so, I would have bet everything I owned on it. God he kills the B's.

Good Points- Lefevrere (spelling?) Anyway. I thought the kid played hard. Not a liability out on the ice. I saw his stats from the baby B's. 1 point and 25 PIM. My type of guy.
Boychuck dropping the gloves I love. Also, the last 2 games I felt like he's made some good plays keeping the puck in the offensive zone. I like it.

Bad Points- Lucic broken finger misses game. Looks like we won't see Lootch throwing haymakers anytime soon.

Couple of days off before the random Wednesday night home game against Nashville (Confederate Flag Hockey is back), then two more road games in Philly and Ottawa, always two tough places to play.

Let's Go Bruins. Underachieving so far. Time to get it back.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

The Mayor does Dallas...


So much to report.

Great work by "The Hat" to show the pre-game pictures.

Here's a brief synopsis of an AWESOME night.

I was poised to leave Austin at 2pm (it's a 3.5 drive), but all my co-workers told me to leave at noon. Why? Red River Shootout is tomorrow (well today now) in Dallas. If you are reading this from anywhere above the Mason-Dixon line, and don't know what the Red River shootout is, don't feel bad. It's Texas vs. Oklahoma. HUGE Rivalry. The whole ride up from Austin to Dallas all you saw was Trucks/Suvs with Texas Longhorns flags. Crazy. Anyway, after a great cigar in the car I arrived in Dallas at about 350pm.

I get to the arena, which is pristine, it really is gorgeous, outside and in. I get to the outside, am trying to figure out where to park. I end up in an arena lot, RIGHT across the street from the arena. $15. I'll take it. So I start walking out of the lot looking for a bar. After my trip to see Joe Thornton and the Sharks vs. the Stars last Christmas break, I knew that bars around American Airlines are limited. No Sully's, No Penalty Box, No 4's..NOTHING. Anyway, I start walking about of the lot spot a dude wearing a B's jersey. Great kid, families originally from just west of Boston, moved to Austin when he was 12. So both of us idiots drove solo from Austin. Anyway, we search out the nearest watering hole. So we end up at a place called Victory Tavern (or something). $5 Bud bottles, ($4 at Sully's, and they are 16 oz.) anyway. It's an uppity place, saw some folks eating "truffle fries". WHAT? Anyway it was nearby and we were thirsty. Not to many hockey fans at the bar, as they were all Texas/OU fans for the game. So after I paid $77 for a ticket 11 rows from the ice, I make friends with the guy from ESPN Radio Austin who is broadcasting live from the bar. He has a stack of 50 free tickets. Yup. Paid $77 (lucky # at least), but got offered a free ticket. Anyway, chatted him up about the new local AHL team here, and he promised some free tickets in the future. Good stuff. So it gets better. I spot a woman wearing a Steve Ott jersey. I almost throw up. Where does she sit? Right next to me. I chat her up. Originally from New York (Westchester) Stars season ticket holder, the whole 9. I have to say the majority of folks I met who were Stars fans have some sort of Northeast connection. Shocking. However, kudos to Dallas and the Stars because youth and high school hockey is growing in Texas. Anyway....6pm, head over to pick up tickets and go in.

So the dude I meet walking out of the lot who I shared some suds with. Guess where he's sitting? A row in front of me. Awesome. Watch warmups, place was pretty much empty. Once again, a gorgeous arena. Although I've heard the Stars are on the verge of bankruptcy.....I settle in with a 24 ounce beer. I said that right, 24 ounce, and I bought a "jalepeno sausage sandwich" for 7 bucks. Beats the hell out of anything at the Garden. Had cole slaw on top. Not bad. Normally I don't eat at games, but since I was driving the 3.5 hours back I had to. I forgot to mention earlier. I saw more cops pulling people over on the way up here, literally saw 15 pullovers, worse than the Cape on 4th of July weekend...HORRIBLE. And all the cops wear cowboy hats. Did I mention I hate Texas???

Anyway, games about to start, 2 more guys in B's jerseys sit in front of me. HILARIOUS, Great dudes. One was originally from the north shore, the other from St. Louis, HUGE Blues fan, but came with his Bruins buddy. Both in Texas now. Shooting the bologna, making fun of Dallas it was great. So the kid I met in the parking lot from the second the Stars take the ice starts the "RIBEIRO SUCKS" (Ott wasn't playing, had to get after someone) So he keeps this going during the first. An old lady 3 rows in front comes up and says. "Can you please stop the harsh language, I have kids here." For saying SUCKS. So everyone around us starts in on it for the rest of the game. Great sayings like "Hey Ribeiro you are mediocre". During the 2nd a Stars official worker actually came to talk to the kid for "foul language complaints". I actually said out loud, I heard worse from my father sitting out the couch watching the B's.

All shenanigans aside-Great game. B's win 3-0, led by the 2 Savvy goals. Timmy zoned in and looked great. I was extremely impressed by Johnny Boychuck, he made a few rookie errors, but he's going to be a player. I was stunned by how big he is. I like this Looch-Wheeler line. That line could really do things. I think it's a step in the right direction.

Would have loved to see Alex Auld tonight. How soon we forget he helped us get in the playoffs two years ago.

Also-that fourth line is getting some serious ice time. Grind grind grind. But they deserve it. Best fourth line in hockey (in my non biased position).

The best laugh I got of the night was yelling. HEY TURCO, YOU'RE KILLING MY FANTASY TEAM.

Hope this rant was somewhat amusing...


Friday, October 16, 2009


Steve Ott's not playing tonight, so the Mayor is now directing his rage onto his gastrointestinal tract by consuming the steakbomb shown above.

View from Row 11

"Great Seat"

Mayor Reports in from Dallas

"The Anti-Sully's"

Thursday, October 15, 2009


Ok, Tomorrow night I will be sitting in the American Airlines Center watching the Dallas Stars play our Boston Bruins. Since the move to Austin, I haven't been able to see the B's live this season.

I was polling the crew on whether I should sit in the cheap seats (where I"ve always been) or actually get a single loge seat. I've never not sat in the balcony. Could be interesting. Also, I am going solo and driving 3.5 hours to get to the game. Go Bruins.

So if you visit there is an OTT-toberfest commercial. Are you f'in kidding me? Ott is the dirtiest player in the league. Look back at last years B's/Stars game. Remember Edwards calling him out? He is an embarrassment to the great game of hockey, and tomorrow you bet your ass I will be telling him that.

Go Bruins.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Psst! shoot high, glove side to beat Rask

Bruins drop another game, 4-3 to the Coloradio Nordilanche. I may have to stop calling them that, as Quebec City might get an NHL team soon. The powerless play and penalty kill (which actually giveth life to the opponent) are HORRIBLE. Ference made an ill-advised decision to step up near a scrum at the boards while shorthanded, thinking that 3 guys fighting for the puck at the bench was not enough. So Colorado scores a shorthanded goal on that mistake. The team still looks "off" with missed passes, bad decisions, and huge-ass rebounds given up by Rask. Looch hasn't felt like hitting anyone since he signed his multi-million dollar deal, though he did somewhat wake up in the third period. Good news is that the 2nd & 3rd lines scored goals (Kraytch with 2 assists), Michael Ryder is shaking the cobwebs out, and Wheels scored while driving hard to the net. As Minnesota pointed out - the Bruins lost 6 games in regulation during the regular season at home last year. We've already lost 3.
random crap:
  • 2 apparent season ticket newbies in 311 who sit in Row 10 have left early for 3 of these games. Normally, this is where the Mayor would step in and leatherlung them into staying.
  • I think one reason why the B's have sucked in the first 5 games is that we've not started this season on the road. In years past, the B's have been sent out west to play hockey, bond, buy each other meals, play golf, stuff like that. This year did not have that phase, so they're still not gellin'.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Kessel, Phil Kessel, What?

The Bruins got lucky. Close to dropping yet another turd, the Bruins managed to string together about 8 minutes of something resembling hockey on Saturday night and beat the Islanders 4-3 in a shootout. Most of the game was pretty bad. Several penalties in the first period (Wheels high-sticked some sap, got a double-minor; Ference hauling off on some guy who cheap-shotted Savard. Aside - Here is my favorite Ference moment: Open-ice hit on Martin Erat, then pounds the shit out of Scot Nichol) sucked any momentum out of them for most of the game. The team hung around, though. Savard tucked in a goal, then Bitz singlehandedly lifted the whole team up with a backhand score, and finally Hunwick floated a weakass wrister than Roloson missed. The shootout went pretty well. I think most teams are hip to Patrice going five-hole on the goalies. He changed it up, dinged his opportunity off the post. Wheels put about 43 moves on Rollie before tucking it in five-hole. Then I saw Savard skate out and I verbally expressed my displeasure with the choice. Savard is, what, 2 for 13 in shootouts? The guy's got 1 move: forehand wrist shot. well, 2 moves - sometimes it's a slapshot from 15 feet away. So I groaned as he skated wide, then he faked Rollie right out of his skates and tossed in a sweet backhander. Bruins steal one from the young, energetic, slightly stupid Islanders. I now believe that all of Savard's shitty shootout attempts were all leading up to this point, some sort of hockey sniper rope-a-dope so he could steal a few games for us this year. It was later revealed to the media that Savvy & Cload met in Cload's office - Cload wanted Savvy to work on his shit in the shootouts, ostensibly to replace the now-departed Kessel.
Random crap:
  • Hey, that John Tavares can shoot - I bet he went high in the draft.
  • On a Sox note - Ya know, I'm pretty sick 'n tired of telecasts that show Sox fans clasping their hands together in some sort of "I hope we win, I'm sucha huge fan" pose. jeez. the Sox have lost a lot of games, they'll lose more, cut the shit. You have one of the most successful, richest franchises in sports - stop acting like that if they lose, you're going to hurl yourself from the Pru posthaste. And Sox fans have not cornered the market on dedication, fandom, etc. Get over yourselves. Imagine being an Orioles about perennial suckage.
  • "Sheriff" Shane Hnidy got an assist for the Minnesota Wild Saturday night.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Tonight's the Night...

Although I hate to see the B's lose and have to come back with an angry effort, I love those angry efforts.

Look what happened after the loss to the Caps and then the Canes game.

Tonight, after a hard skate in practice, the B's need to show us they belong among the top teams in the NHL.

The victim-The New York Islanders.

Over under on fights is 2.5.  I'm taking the over. 

Bruins need to be, and should be angry. And not just 4th line angry and playing the whole game. I'm talking skating to the net, Bergeron scoring 2 goals angry.

Let's Go Bruins!

Friday, October 9, 2009

A Tale of 2 teams...

Coach Julien always likes to talk about 60 minute hockey.

Well, what we saw last night was a fantastic example of 20 minute hockey.

Great first period for the B's. All is well on Causeway, and then BAM.

Two stupid penalties. Why was the crowd chanting "Bullshit"? The Sturm penalty was clearly a hook. Is the new Garden crowd this stupid?

And we are down 2-1., and it gets worse and worse...Final 6-1 Mighty Ducks.

Good points- The 4th line I swear played more than anyone else. That Begin, Bitz, Thornton line is going to be something. Great job by Bitz drawing that penalty.

How sweet was that Perry goal on the drag? Wow.

Horrible- Why didn't anyone challenge Parros in the 2nd when the B's were lifeless? Very un-Bruins like. Surprised Thornton didn't try to get something started.

Also Horrible- The Red Sox. Wake up and swing the damn bats.