Tuesday, December 22, 2009

B's shut out Ottawa

At the request of the Mayor, my sister submitts her interpretation of the events of the past 2 games. My sister sits in non-cheering, hifalutin area known as Loge 4.

"I said to my husband the other night "Did you think, at all, ever, just once, last year while watching the Boys that Phil Kessel would b e wearing another uniform?"
"Nope. Not in a million years."

And you know what's funny? Funny, funny, not funny-haha? I actually liked the Maple Leafs. While visiting Toronto in the past, I remember going into a Maple Leaf sorta pro-shop type store (Queen's Quay, I think it's called. Some mall by the water. And it's pronounced "key", not "KWAY"--This, I learned, making an arse out of myself. Which is a common occurrence.) and considering the purchase of souvenirs. I even have this sick 'n twisted respect for the chinless Tomas Kaberle, and the way he breaks the targets in the goal during the skills competition at the All Star Game.
But now--essh with Phil Kessel... yuck, I get the dizzies just thinking about it. I loathe them now. And those annoying striped socks.
I like the way the Boys knock Phyllis Kessel all around the rink as if they scored 100 points for ringing his bell. I like the way the Boys prevent Miss Kessel from getting shots off or from attempting to execute some form of offensive attack. I wonder if he goes into the locker room during intermission and sobs. Do his shoulders shake with fury? Does he burst into angry tears? Does he run, arms flailing, to the dressing area and throw himself on the bench, screaming "leave me alone!!!"?
I hated seeing Tuukka Rask let that puck slip by him. I watched it over and over. That kind of mishandling (and I want to avoid the word "mistake" here) just givers me the shivers. Why? Because it reminds me of ME. Please note: NHL goalies, even rookie ones, should never EVER remind me of me.
Kessel-mania IV isn't until February? March? When? Long time from now, that's all that matters. I'm tired of watching the only woman (Sid Crosby is technically classified as female infant) in the NHL.

Bruins vs. Ottawa:
Or as Jack would say "Ottahwaaah". (oh and Jack: don't be catty with Carrie and Mike Fisher because it's just ugly and...odd. Leave that to ME...see below). So we started with some shifting in the lines. Begin was teamed up with Savard and Sturm. Wheeler with Krejci and Ryder. "I made all this Paella" played with Bergeron and Recchi. And Thornton had fun in the sandbox with Sobotka and Bitzy. I know I cried buckets with Begin arrived, but I have been temporarily cured of my fear of Begin. He is FEISTY. What on earth is on Ryders' mind? Is it hockey? Is it Santa Claus, or the Newfie equivalent? The game against the Maple Leafs--he whiffed on a gentle pass from Savard that Helen Keller could have seen. Last night, Krejci made a lovely pass to Ryder and it went nowhere. Did you see that delicious hit on Ruutu by McQuaid?? Third period brought us a Bergeron goal, a pretty one from Sturm, and a shutout for Timmy. Oh nice, very nice. More of these, please. And I want Cload to keep these lines. I wanna see more.

Oh and some info for folks out there wondering where the Wives Carnival is. Husband went to Fan Relations and demanded to know when Wives Carnival is. Fan Relations said that the Bruins are too busy with Winter Classic to do Wives Carnival. Husband served up some guilt and reminded Fan Relations rep that the Wives Carnival raises a ton of bucks for charity. Husband also asked why there was no STH Fanatic Meet 'n Greet this year. Fan Relations rep said that Winter Classic Legends game took the place of that. Oh.
Oh, and one final thing: Congratulations to Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher. Nice to see the Legitimization of Puck Sluts, even famous ones. Where is the darling bride-to-be registered?"

1 comment:

  1. My god, can we pretty please make this woman a regular contributor? This may very well be the best non-morale officer post on the blog so far. Strong work lady!