Thursday, May 26, 2011

B's fill their diaper.

Ugh.

  • Sure, you'd love to bench Boychuk & Kaberle ("Kaber-gay", we've been calling him; yah, we're adults.), but these are the ugly sluts that Claude brought to the dance, so he's gotta dance with them. So let's hope (ugh) that this team can figure it all out in time for tomorrow night's game.
  • No time for Seguin on the PP last night, did I read that right? So they're trying the "chara in front of the net" move, and that's great and stuff, but Seguin's still gotta play on that "power" play, currently clicking at, uh, what, 8%?
  • boston.com had a poll for unsung hero for the bruins in the playoffs. I voted for Seidenberg and so did most of those who voted.
  • The B's, ya know, they really have got to stop giving these teams hope. They are 100% capable of pounding the piss out of TB, but everytime they get a chance to step on their neck with a skate, they back off. "Afraid to win", you hear some call it. I dunno. But the killer instinct is lacking. "don't know how to win", "not playoff ready", etc.
  • US-born hockey player Doug Weight retiring after 19 years. 1238 games 278-755-1033 and a Stanley Cup. Not too bad.
  • Are the Jets back in Winnipeg YET? sheesh. Gotta get rid of that Confederate Flag Hockey ya know. Florida Panthers, you're next.
  • These 8pm starts are lame. I get home at like midnight 'n shit. It's like when the Sox were going all the way in '04 and no one was getting any sleep because the games were starting at 8:37pm.
  • You realize, right, that in order to keep the Cup away from the hosers that either the B's or Tampon Bay has to beat Vancouver. Cup hasn't been won by a Canadian team since, what, 1993 when the Habs got it.
  • The Mayor flew up from Austin to catch Game 7. "I landed, went to Dunks, bought a Herald". It's rumored that tonight he's headed to the Cape to get stabbed in the parking lot of Pufferbellies.
  • That's right, Bill Belichick's been to the last 2 games. Last game, even stood up and waved the towel there. Also, Tom Brady crying and going down waterslides like a 7-year old girl. Patriots dynasty = over.
  • What the hell were those noisemakers at the game last night? or something? It sounded like thundersticks, but more high-pitched. Horrible. They don't hand shit out like that in Boston, they know it'll get tossed onto the ice after the first bullshit call. A few years back they handed out minature Stanley Cups at the beginning of the year? or the playoffs? and Andrei Markov scored with like 10 seconds left in OT so MTL won, and all them shits got tossed onto the ice. Now, I think they do like, wind tunnel tests 'n shit on the free schwag to see if it can aerodynamically make the trip from the balcony to the ice. Y'know, mass, drag coefficient, critical velocity, windage, vectors, tensors, cross products, LaPlace transforms, etc. possibly the Large Hadron Collider's involved? When Bruins marketing goes thru the catalog of corporate-sponsored free schwag, each item probably lists its "projectile potential" on it or something. And who picks the schwag? Covidien or the Bruins? "let's give 'em towels" because they don't want the fans to brain Stamkos after he scores the series winner in OT.

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