Saturday, April 30, 2011

B's Finish the Deal; Flyers Next

yay camera phone. I guess.

So in case you haven't heard, or can't tell by the "awesome" photo above, the Bruins turned out the light on the Habs Wednesday night.
  • Some sort of moratorium on ripping on the B's power play immediately following the game, as for once, the Boston sports media opted to not dwell on the negative and actually enjoy a victory.
  • But are you kidding me? 0-for-21 power play? Brian Burke is pleasuring himself to viewings of its ineffectiveness. Every time Kaberle goofed up a play at the blue line or got the yips in the corners, Burke just poured himself another whiskey and grinned.
  • Jeff Halpern, who got thumped into the end of the glass, then decided to skate into Ference's shoulder, I think ended up inadvertently tipping in Nathan Horton's shot. Jeff Halpern, you suck.
  • Subban's a total diver and a putz, but he's good and he's going to be around for awhile. Deal with it. At least you have someone to focus your hate on, the torch has been passed from Hab assholes of the past (Guy Carbonneau, Stephane Richer, Lyle Odelein, shit this list truly could be infinite. Did I already mention Guy Carbonneau?).
In no particular order, comments on the individual performances:
  • Playoff MVP: Gotta give this one to Bergeron. The guy had a monster series, winning 110% of the faceoffs and best of all, always moving his feet, unsatisfied and fighting for that extra inch ("we claw! with our FINGA-NAILS for that inch!"). Bergeron "gets it", folks. I don't know if it's the early influence of Martin Lapointe (heh) or the current influence of greybearded, brass-balled Recchi (playing through kidney stones; getting his blood swapped for new blood, Keith Richards-style, during the Carolina series), but anyone who doesn't think Bergeron is the face and cornerstone of this franchise should make their way to the cracker factory. I'm ready to hoist #37 to the rafters. When Recchi retires, he's going to will that wheelbarrow he uses to cart around said brass balls to Bergeron, "here you go, you've earned this". Okay, enough with the balls.
  • Playoff LVP: Kaberle. A caller to the sportshub recently called out Felger, et al. by correctly pointing out that we should not have expected much, defensively-speaking, from Kaberle. He's a bring-the-puck-up defenseman who can pass well and aid the power play. And in speaking with a Maple Leaf fan yesterday, he agreed, basically saying that Kaberle is as soft as puppy shit in his own zone, but silky smooth offensively. I guess we're just going to have to give it a little more time for Kaberle...during a part of the season where time is of the essence. I dunno.
  • Playoff SoLVP: "sort of least valuable player". Ryder. Dude, love the goals, love the quick release, and that glove save was the shit of legend, but completely sick of your "enigmatic" (KPD) ways. The dude's playing for a contract and still can't get his dick hard for 17 minutes a night on the ice. Start Seguin, start Caron, start your mom. Bench Ryder.
  • Playoff MVP the more I think about it: Andrew Ference. Admit it - his goal and middle finger to the Habs fans was the turning point of the series. Right now, the action could be characterized as classless, or whatever, but the B's were down, 3-1 at that point and nothing was going our way. Ference skates into a rolling puck, puts the force of the Warsaw Pact behind a blistering бомба over Carey's glove, then flips off the Bell Centre crowd. It would have been unforgettably badass if Ference owned up to it, but I suspect he was trying to keep the action from being bulletin board material. Plus the guy just competes in the corners despite his midget, commie-like ways. Also, 2 assists in the series clincher.
  • Very close to being Playoff MVP: Chris Kelly. Who knew? The guy's no dummy and finally delivers as advertised: PJ Axelsson with better finish.
  • I'm impressed with his speed: Rich Peverley. Can't help but feel a little bit British whenever I say "Peverley", but yeah, anyway, he's worth putting down the game-time donut when he rushes up the ice.
  • What a beast: Had a rough start to the series, but Dennis Seidenberg is just awesome and I don't think we've yet seen just how good he is.
  • WTF?: Lootch...coasting thru the zone, looking passive, waiting for a pass instead of making shit happen.
Things to look forward to in the 2nd round versus the Flyers:
  • Hating Chris Pronger: and Hartnell, and Giroux, and "Hot Carle"...
  • Daniel Briere is a whiny bitch: It didn't end with the Habs - the Flyers got their own weenie who wears a visor, cries to the refs, slashes people when the refs aren't looking, is small and quick, and is a pure Bruins killer. Remember the two-hander to Franz Nielsen's head?
  • We will probably make their goaltending look awesome: Sadly, we're going to make whoever stands between the pipes for the Flyers look like Thomas' competition for the Vezina. Unless we start Seguin. After Seguin starts averaging 2 points/game, cures for AIDS, cancer, and all that stuff will be found, plus world peace, end of poverty and hunger, struggle, strife, etc.
  • Flyers fans are subhuman: Watch out for the batteries, folks. Always Sunny in Philadelphia isn't kidding. Everyone in that town really is that dumb.
  • The Flyers are shit, but at least they'll step up: aside from the aforementioned Briere, who usually has Carcillo or others doing his dirty work for him, everyone on the Flyers will show up and back up anything they try to do.

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