Wednesday, June 23, 2010

NHL Awards Roundup

Jay Mohr blows.

Per the usual, the NHL Awards ceremony was a poorly choreographed, awkward affair full of bad jokes, bad music, and bad acceptance speeches.
  • Calder Trophy: Tyler Myers beats Duchene & Howard.
  • Selke Trophy: Datsyuk wins again, beating Kesler and Jordan Staaaaaal. Wears another horrible suit, but gets the biggest laugh of the night by thanking management for paying him. Ryan Kesler in a Bruins uniform - it's gonna happen someday, folks.
  • Cirque du Soleil does some dance thing for the French Canadians/gays watching the ceremony.
  • Ted Lindsay Award goes to Ovechkin, beating Henrik Sedin and Cindy Crosby
  • Amusing comedy bit involving Ryan/Getzlaf and their silver/gold medals.
  • Jack Adams award goes to Dave Tippett (PHX) who beat Trotz & Sacco.
  • Vezina Trophy: Ryan Miller beats Bryzgalov, Brodeur
  • Musical performance by Shinedown. WOOF. I didn't know Penn Jillette started a band.
  • Masterson Trophy won by Theodore who beat Ortmeyer and Foster.
  • King Clancy Trophy goes to Shane Doan. Presented by the Army. The Army is trying to recruit corn-fed Manitoba dudes or something? Doan coaxes free agents to come to PHX. He should have mentioned the golf.
  • Lady Byng: Marty St. Louis, who beat Brad Richards and Datsyuk.
  • Mark Messier assface award: Cindy Crosby. Crosby slurps up to Mess, then slurps up to Stevie Y. Pretty sure that Crosby gave a post-ceremony tongue bath to Bettman.
  • Olczyk & Roenick present the Norris. Crying joke is made with JR saying that he cried because he was stuck next to Milbury for 4 hours.
  • Goo Goo Dolls (I'll take Johnny Rzeznik to block) perform some song.
  • Guy LaFleur presents the MVP award, makes a tired joke about hair, with Henrick Sedin beating Cindy & Ovie for the MVP.

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