Mid-Season Report Card

It's not really mid-season, but whatever, it allows Section 311 to piss and moan about the state of the Bruins.

• Blake Wheeler (12-16-28; -5; 32 PIM): Wheels has not made The Leap quite like 311 expected. After tearing it up nicely most of last season, Wheels promised that this season he wasn't going to tire out in the last few months. Maybe he won't tire, but the weaker parts of his game are beginning to come to the fore now that he's not scoring goals. Grade: C-
• Mark Recchi (9-18-27; 0; 28PIM): The Recchin Ball has performed admirably despite his age and slowness. Always willing to do the dirty work in front of the net and is providing leadership in the locker room. Has a secret mancrush on Bergeron. Grade: B
• Zdeno Chara (4-23-27; +5; 62PIM): Pretty solid season so far - kind of started off slow, but has gotten better as of late. Still needs to kill someone in order to galvanize his team, scare the league. I've seen him jump in front of the net lately as a desperation move for goal scoring, maybe something will turn up. And who would think Chara would lead the team in assists at the mid-point? Grade: B
• Michael Ryder (11-8-19; 0; 8PIM): Starting to show signs of why Montreal made him a healthy scratch 2 seasons ago. He's rung a few posts and could easily have 15-17 goals by now, so he is a little bit snake-bitten...otherwise, he looks off-balance and lost on the ice at least 40% of the time. Grade: C-
• Steve Begin (3-9-12; -3; 38PIM): Started off the season with insane production but has tailed off in that department. Shows up for every game which is better than most of the team. I was expecting more fisticuffs, though. He's not doing to others what he did against us when he played for Montreal. I want him to play more dirty and kill more people - his last fight was in the pre-season, I'm pretty sure. Grade: B
• Marco Sturm (15-9-24; +8; 18PIM): Gets a passing grade for merely scoring the winning goal at the Winter Classic and justifying the money spent by everyone to attend the game. Has been snake-bitten like Ryder, but seems to keep his feet moving. Grade: B
• Shawn Thornton (1-7-8; -2; 85PIM): Always willing to pound on people and perform some law enforcement on the ice. Takes a lot of shots from weird angles that yield good opportunities if he had linemates who could actually finish (I'm looking at you, Paella). Grade: B+
• David Krejci (8-18-26; +1; 16PIM): It's frustrating to watch Krejci sometimes, and maybe he has lingering effects from the surgery. Still...we need so much more from this guy. Has looked good of late, though. Grade: B-
• Derek Morris (3-17-20; -1; 22PIM): I'm still a Morris-hater. For $3.3M, this is what we get? A defenseman who can't play defense. He's a pylon. The power play hasn't improved with him there...but maybe if Wideman wasn't such a car wreck, D-Mo wouldn't look so bad, he could hide in the shadows. Grade: C+
• Matt Hunwick (6-6-12; -5; 12PIM): I just think he's too small for the position. Maybe Don Sweeney's got a soft spot for the undertall d-men of the world. At times, he's looked absolutely ridiculous trying to play defense in the corners against forwards 6'-2" and larger. The offensive spark that showed serious upside last year is gone. Grade: C
• Daniel Paille (6-7-13; -2; 12PIM): I wasn't expecting much from Paille, who was a nightly healthy scratch in Buffalo. He has shined as a niche player, specializing in the penalty kill. He keeps his feet moving, and has been promoted to top lines recently because he actually might give a shit. We all wish he could finish, though. Grade: A-
• Patrice Bergeron (11-20-31; +3; 14PIM): Possibly the league's best at the faceoff dot, has rebounded from the concussion 100%. Generally, his play leaves a wet spot on the front of Minnesota's pants. Grade: B
• Dennis Wideman (3-11-14; -8; 20PIM): What a shitshow. Even HE knows he sucks this season, and now Cload's called him out, too. He showed so much promise last year, and that he'd finally gotten rid of the yips when leaving his own zone. Now, he's just a husk out there. Grade: D
• Andrew Ference (0-5-5; -3; 16PIM): There are a lot of Ference-haters out there, and yeah, he does mess up a lot, but he does come to the rink ready to fight for his team. I'm still wondering if there's lingering fallout from that whole player's union thing from earlier this eyar. Grade: C
• Byron Bitz (4-5-9; -8; 31PIM): Bitz has disappointed us slightly this year. He's gotta work on his fighting skillz, he's lost his finishing touch around the net (probably because he's not hanging around the net anymore). He is a team-worst -8. Grade: C
• Vladimir Sobotka (4-3-7; -3; 22PIM): One of the guys on the 4th line who really shakes things up out there. I was almost shocked when I saw that he had only 4 goals, considering the hustle he shows out there. If the rest of the team played with as much abandon as Sobotka, then maybe we'd be better off. Like every else this season, can't finish. Grade: B
• Mark Stuart (2-2-4; -1; 36PIM): Has performed not too badly this season as a stay-at-home guy, but his injury hurt the Bruins in late Dec/early Jan. He really need to whale the shit out of someone, quick. Grade: B
• Claude Julien: Claude - GET THIS TEAM GOING. Grade: C+
• Peter Chiarelli: Peter - ROLL THE DICE, make a trade. Grade: B-
  
• Incomplete: Lootch, Savvy, Crapchuk, Marchand, Whitfield, McQuaid, Satan, Wozniewski, Lefebvre, Lehtonen, Larman