Sunday, April 25, 2010

Zdeno Chara = Bruce Banner? A Quick Thought Experiment....

On February 22, 1977, a nuclear accident happened at Bohunice, Czechoslovakia. It was rated INES-4 ("Accident with Local Consequences"). Not quite talking Chernobyl by any stretch of the imagination, but stuff happened:

"Operators neglected to remove moisture absorbing materials from a fuel rod assembly before loading it into the KS 150 reactor at power plant A-1. The accident resulted in damaged fuel integrity, extensive corrosion damage of fuel cladding and release of radioactivity into the plant area. The plant was decommissioned following this accident." (Source: Good ol' Wikipedia)

Trencin, Chara's hometown, is located 22.5km SW of Bohunice, Czechoslovakia. On March 18, 1977, Zdeno Chara was born.

Could it be that the league's most mutant defenseman is a result of not just genetics (father Zdenek was an Olympic Greco-Roman wrestler), but of nuclear power gone horribly wrong? Momma Chara, perhaps she possibly got too close to the incident while carrying Chara, she inhaled the radioactive fumes and Chara mutated in the womb as a result of the exposure to radioactivity. For the last month, she's carrying a glowing-green, hulking, huge-ass Chara-baby and finally drops the kid less than month later.

Well, mutant or not, he's our mutant.

Postscript: Ever read the wikipedia entry on Chara? It says that according to WEEI, Sobotka was drafted because Chara needs a life partner on the team per the terms of his contract. I think most folks are willing to buy my "Chara is radioactive mutant" theory before they'll buy this one. Then again, consider, Satan & Chara are BFFs as well. THAT, combined with the B's opening up next season in Prague. Does Bruins management think "as Chara goes, so do the Bruins"?

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